Abnormal Mammogram

Now What?

A personal Experience

By: Anne Marie Owens Jacintho

As I sit here thinking about the coming adventure I’m about to take part in. I look back at what I’ve already been through and wonder if other women have the same feelings and thoughts as I.

I’ve put this all together because I was very frustrated with what information is out there for women who have had an abnormal mammogram. We always hear how it is important to have a yearly mammogram, but no one mentions the abnormal mammogram. We also read and hear a lot about women who are survivors of breast cancer. Especially the more severe breast cancer. They have had chemotherapy and radiation. They come from all walks of live, and their ages range from young, single women, new mothers, mothers with families and even grandmothers. They are true survivors, but I know from my own experience that there are probably many women like me with a very early stage of breast cancer, and some doctors brush us aside. Even though we may have an early stage of cancer, we still have the same fears as other breast cancer survivors. Especially when we first get that diagnosis. I remember going to my GYN’s office and in the bathroom there were pamphlets about a variety of women issues. I saw one on breast cancer and I picked it up hoping to read about another woman's experience. The picture on the pamphlet was of a local woman from our island; she was around my age and has young children. I was very disappointed when I brought it home and opened it up all it said was that she was a breast cancer survivor and was stressing the need for yearly mammograms. I really wanted to read about her experience, how she told her children, what kind of breast cancer she had and how she was treated. I started looking at different web sites and even the web sites never really talked about early stage breast cancer and what the options were. As I said it was very frustrating. I did not feel I needed the help of a cancer support group because my cancer was nothing compared to what other women have gone through. I also had a lot of support from family and friends. It was also amazing how several friends had a family member or another friend who had breast cancer. I kept hearing stories about survivors and it was always reassuring. If other women survived I knew I would. When you hear the diagnosis you do feel very alone and don’t know where to turn to. Even with the support of family and friends at times I had a hard time letting them know my fears. So, I’ve put my personal experience on paper so maybe I can help other women, when they hear those words.

“You have an abnormal mammogram.”

Back in November 2003 I had an abnormal mammogram and needed to go in for additional views. I’ve had abnormal mammograms in the past and so I just thought it would be more of the same. The x-ray tech was very nice and explained what they saw on the initial mammogram was calcification that were close to the chest wall. She apologized for the pain that she would cause by doing the magnificated views. The suspicious area being in a difficult part of the breast to get to. After the mammogram I had an ultrasound done and that tech was very quiet. I watched the screen and did not see anything. She had moved the wand around several times and everything looked the same. As I said she was very quiet. I had had a breast ultrasound before with the same tech and she had explained what she was looking for, so I kind of had the feeling that since she was quiet something more serious then calcification was involved. I left there worried and talked to God saying if they found something let it be in the early stages and let it be treatable.

About 2 weeks later I received the notice saying I needed a needle biopsy to rule out malignancy, but also with reassuring words that a lot of these biopsies do turn out negative. I spoke with my GYN and he too was reassuring saying what they saw was small and he’s had other women have the biopsy and it was nothing.

I had just had my yearly exam with my plastic surgeon that had removed a malignant melanoma from my left forearm 10 years ago and he gave me the clean bill of health that it didn’t reoccur with pregnancy and being 10 years was a good sign. Well I called his office to see if he could do the biopsy. I wasn’t quite sure what was involved in this biopsy, since it was close to the chest wall and there wasn’t a lump. I couldn’t imagine how they could do a biopsy. I asked a lot of questions and was told they do it by “dye localization”. Well I still wasn’t sure what that was I tried to research it on the Internet and it explained it as through x-ray the Radiologist injects dye to the site so the surgeon would know where to take the biopsy. I assumed this would be done by mammogram and could not understand how dye could be injected while having a mammogram. Again I asked around and couldn’t get a clear picture of what would be done. This is another reason I feel I should write down my experiences, I feel the more prepared one is the less scared they are. Its fear of the unexpected that is awful to deal with. Being a nurse and giving patient instructions I realize there are two types of patients. One that wants to know everything to better prepare them selves and the other that just turns you off and doesn’t want to know. So this is for the people that want to be prepared. I kind of think that a lot of people like to be prepared.

The dye localization was scheduled in February. In preparation for the biopsy I was not to have any aspirin or aspirin products including ibuprofen, Aleve, Advil, or Motrin. I also couldn’t have any garlic for two weeks preceding the biopsy. The reason being they are blood thinners and could lead to excessive bleeding during surgery. The night before the procedure I couldn’t have anything to eat or drink after mid night.

I wasn’t quite sure what would happen to me once I checked into the radiology department. If they would do the dye localization and then send me off on my way to the surgeons office or would they wheel me up to the surgeon’s office. I asked these questions when the x-ray tech introduced herself to me. She was very good about explaining every step of the way. She first took another regular mammogram to make sure where exactly she needed to prep. I then sat on a chair and she positioned my breast on the table of the mammogram apparatus. The top compression plate had a hole in it that she had to center on my breast so the suspicious area could be easily assessed. This mammogram is a digital mammogram so she could see everything while she was positioning me. Finally it all clicked. She made sure I was comfortable on the chair good back support and stuff and then called the doctor in to perform the dye localization. He did use some local anesthetic and then inserted a needle in the area. The needle had to be exactly on the site, once that was maintained he threaded a thin wire through the bore of the needle and then injected the dye. It was all quite fascinating. A little painful with my breast being compressed the whole time but you kind of get numb after a while and it doesn’t really bother anymore. They took a couple more x-rays and marked exactly where the surgeon should enter to get right to the site. I guess the procedure took about an hour. The x-ray tech then wheeled me up to the surgeon’s office.

Once at the same day surgery center. I was put under IV sedation and they started the biopsy. During the biopsy I could feel tugging and pulling. I could hear what was going on, I’m not sure if that was at the end of the procedure or the whole time. I did ask some questions during it and remember dozing off again, so I think they probably gave me more sedation. The preliminary report came back Ductal carcinoma in situ. I remember feeling relieved thinking it was like my melanoma and being done with it. In fact I said that to the doctor. His response was that if it had to be cancer that this was the type of breast cancer to get, but it wasn’t a fast cure like my arm with the wide incision. The surgeon had gone back for several other specimens to check the margins. One area came back suspicious so he went back and took some more tissue out. There was a lot of waiting time. When they do the biopsy they have to send it back to the radiology department and they do a mammogram on the specimen and make sure it matches the area on the original x-ray. Also they have to make sure they get all the dyed area out. And then sending it to pathology for a preliminary diagnosis. At least after the procedure the doctor spoke to me and then to William and told us what was found. And I had an appointment to see him the following day to find out what the next step would be. The after pain was not so bad, I think I was more scared of getting pain so I made sure I took the pain pills when it started to ache. I took only two pills. One that evening and another the next morning.

The follow up appointment went fast. The surgeon wasn’t quite sure what I should do next. He knew I would need further surgery but wasn’t sure if he should do sentinel node biopsies. He wanted me to see another surgeon who specialized in Women’s diseases of the breast. He had removed all the involved area so we didn’t have to rush on the next step. He told me to educate myself on the diagnosis and he’d set up an appointment with this other doctor in a week when he had the final reports back.

I flew home somewhat relieved that it was all removed and it being carcinoma in situ seemed like no biggy.

William and I flew back the following week to meet with the specialist. I had looked her up on the Internet and also did some research on ductal carcinoma in situ. All of my reading pointed to a mastectomy as the way to go. But it was kind of frustrating because Ductal carcinoma in situ is kind of a new diagnosis. With more women having regular mammograms they are catching this early stage of breast cancer. There isn’t enough research to really give the recurrence rate and if left untreated would it become invasive? When I saw my surgeon that day, he confirmed what I had read and felt that the specialist would say the same thing. In fact on her web site she documented that mastectomy was the way to treat Ductal carcinoma in situ.

When we finally saw this specialist. She kind of blew me off. “Oh you got some bad news, but I don’t know why you are here?” She said basically I had been treated with the wide incision and that was that. She suggested Radiation Therapy for 6 weeks and 5 years of Tamoxifen to prevent a recurrence. The recurrence rate being 30% if nothing is done. I was okay with the radiation therapy but not with the Tamoxifen. Being 43, I had a lot of concern of being put into menopause and the risk of uterine cancer. She blew that off and said both can be treated. I still wasn’t convinced but felt I’d go along with the radiation therapy and asked her nurse to set it up. I was told by the nurse that the only side affect of radiation would be a sunburn to the site and fatigue. I came home kind of happy that it would be treated with out additional surgery. When I got home I called my surgeon’s office and made them aware of what was going to be done.

A couple of days later my surgeon called me and seemed a little upset at the specialist response. Giving my history of already having malignant melanoma, he felt that I was at a greater risk for recurrence. Also with the involved area being close to the chest wall he said the radiation could cause Pulmonary Fibrosis and also something to my aorta. I remember being dumbfounded. What do I do now? He really felt I should have a bilateral subcutaneous mastectomy. I told him I would get back to him.

I did some more research. It seemed my computer knew already what I was looking for because I’d just type in breast cancer and the top responses would be about ductal carcinoma in situ. It was all so confusing. A lot of well know Breast cancer organization sites didn’t really list ductal carcinoma in situ as a cancer. Most sites felt after the wide excision that was enough but they still suggested radiation and Tamoxifen, since there wasn’t enough study on it. I didn’t know what to do. I was swaying toward the mastectomies just because I didn’t want to deal with the fear of recurrence. Or all the risk involved with taking Tamoxifen. My concern with Tamoxifen was more then the hot flashes, vaginal dryness, irregular periods, weight gain and blood clots. My real concern was pregnancy. While taking tamoxifen you cannot get pregnant, due to the harm it will cause to the fetus. Tamoxifen has been shown to cause miscarriages and birth defects. I’ve read that it is similar to the fertility drug DES that is no longer used these days. If I chose to take tamoxifen I would have to use birth control. I just could not think of that at this time, to make that decision to not have any more children, even though I am very satisfied and happy God blessed me with two great kids. I did not want the cancer to decide that this would be the end of my childbearing years. The only sure form of birth control would be a tubal ligation. I did not want to think of having another type of surgery. Then the risk of uterine cancer, there is a greater risk if you are not yet menopausal. I did not want to chance it. Katie is only 5 and Daniel is 6. What if next time I’m diagnosed with a more invasive cancer? You know would have could have should have kept coming in my mind. A friend of mine always says you can’t choose the cards that are dealt to you; you just have to play them out the best you can and win. Well I took that to heart and decided to go with the subcutaneous mastectomies with reconstruction. I had it all planned that it could be done the next month during the kids Easter break and everything would be back to normal.

It seemed to take forever for the insurance to approve it. Finally I get a call from the doctor’s office saying that my insurance company was questioning the procedure and they needed to know my family history. I was very upset at this. What about my own personal history, a second form of cancer. Yes both were caught at the early stages but what if the next time it wasn’t. How dare the insurance company make that final decision if I could or could not have the procedure? I was frantic to find some family history. I knew one of my mom’s aunts had lung cancer and stomach cancer. I suspected she might have had breast cancer too. My maternal grandmother died of diabetes when I was young. She came from a family of 16. My maternal grandfather died of Hodgkin’s disease in his early 70’s. He came from a family of 13. So I knew with that many people there had to be some kind of history. It took many phone calls to track down my aunt. She had moved over the years, I had a mailing address but no phone number. I didn’t want to wait for her response with a letter. I did finally reach her by phone that night. And I was right she had breast cancer also another aunt and a cousin was now being treated for recurrence. She had said her breast cancer was also found early through a mammogram when she was 50. She had radiation and tamoxifen. She said she had a hysterectomy, I didn’t ask if that was before or after the tamoxifen. I had told her why I wanted the mastectomies instead of radiation with the risk. Well she started to think and said she did have the lung cancer after the breast radiation. It was found early again and just had the lobe removed and another course of radiation. I relayed this all to my doctor. After a couple of weeks my insurance company finally approved the procedure. By then it was too late to schedule it for the Easter Break. I figured I waited this long I might as well do it when the kids get out of school. So the procedure is scheduled for June 2. 6 months after my initial abnormal mammogram.

It’s been an up and down few months. I am grateful that God answered my prayers and it was an early stage of cancer that can be treated. I’ve never said “ Why Me”. I did that when I had the diagnosis of malignant melanoma and my brother said “ Why not you” I was mad when he said that but its true. I have so many resources at my fingertips to get the best care available and be treated right away. I also have a lot of family support. God doesn’t throw at you what you can’t handle, and he has his reasons. All these things have been keeping me going. People say I am strong and brave. I’m just as scared as the next person, I’m just trying to play that hand and win.

I was able to put everything out of my mind for several months waiting for insurance approval. I see the incisional scar from the biopsy on my breast and I think everything is gone; I have nothing to worry about. As time gets closer to the big surgery date these have been my fears. I worry about anesthesia just being put to sleep and out of control. What if that is my last good bye to my family? I’ve always said it’s easy to die; its those that are left behind that actually have it hard. I worry about Katie and Daniel being so young and having to deal without a mother. I see William with the kids and realize he is a great father and they would survive and probably do well. But it’s still a fear of leaving them. I think what am I doing putting myself at risk with the reconstruction? The chances of infection or problems with an implant? But I know I couldn’t deal with not having even a little hump there. Every time you shower and get dressed you have to face that emptiness day in and day out. I’m not that strong. Then I think I’m so vane to even think about that. I should just be grateful that the cancer is gone. Then I thought with a sub cutaneous mastectomy I’m keeping my nipple, am I still putting myself at risk? I often wonder if I’m doing the right thing. I’ve asked myself these questions a hundred times and do feel that the mastectomy is the way to go. I just have to put the rest in God’s hands. After all, even though I’ve taken care of the breast cancer that’s not to say that tomorrow I may have another type of cancer. I can only deal with this hand right now and play it to win.

The Surgery

I had my bilateral subcutaneous mastectomies on June 2, 2004 as planned. A subcutaneous mastectomy is when they remove the breast tissue, but leave about ¼ inch of the subcutaneous tissue and the nipple.

Two weeks prior to the surgery I again had to stay away from aspirin and aspirin products and garlic. I was sure getting used to cooking with just salt and pepper.

I could not have anything to eat or drink after midnight the night before. I made sure I drank water up until 11:45pm; my surgery was scheduled for 11am that seemed like a long time away. At first I was wishing it was scheduled for 7am, but after thinking about it I was glad to be able to sleep in. I needed to be at the hospital 2 hours before the surgery, to check in to admission and sign all the hospital paper work.

Its funny how I was so scared before, but on the day of surgery the fear was there but also a feeling of relief that it was going to be done. I kind of was relaxed as I walked into the Surgical Admission Center. The staff were very professional and friendly. It was very reassuring. Times too have changed a lot. William was able to be with me up until they wheeled me into the operating room. I remember when we use to prep patients in the hospital room and send them down to the operating room for the final prep. The family stayed in the hospital room and said their good byes there.

Being put to sleep felt a little awkward, having the mask held over my nose and mouth and trying to take in deep breaths was scary at first, but I just relaxed and took those breaths and was out in no time. My surgery lasted about 4 hours. I had lost a lot of blood so they did have to transfuse me with two units of blood. When I went to the hospital room I was tired but didn’t feel much pain. I saw that I had the patient control analgesic (PCA) hooked up and I saw the ace wrap around my chest. I had asked the doctor before surgery what kind of pain I would have afterwards. If I would have difficulty breathing, because of the pressure on my chest from the surgery? He reassured me that I wouldn’t have difficulty breathing, but I might not be able to move my arms. He said his patients usually walk around like robots the first couple of days because of the muscle pain under the arms, and are unable to move their arms. So the first thing I did was move my arms. And they worked without pain. I was very swollen, from my chest to my coccyx. I did have a little pain more like feeling engorged, like when you are nursing. I’m sure with the PCA that took care of any real pain I might have felt. I was even able to get up to the bathroom that night with only feeling a little weak. I did throw up during the night probably due to the anesthesia, a common side effect. By morning I was fine. My IV soon infiltrated and that was the end of the PCA. I was then on Tylox and that took care of the pain just fine. Although at times I tried to hold off taking it thinking the pain isn’t bad, but of course it wouldn’t take long before I’d ask for it. My surgeon came to see me that morning and seemed surprised that I was moving so freely. He did tell me about the blood loss and that I’d really have to push fluids to compensate. My heart rate was running between 105 to 120, but my blood pressure was fine. He said he felt that was because of the fluid loss. I made sure I always had a cup of ice chips or water in my hand. The nurses were good about keeping my pitcher full.

On the second day I went to the surgeons office to have the dressing changed. It’s nice when you go to a hospital that the doctors work in the same building. I was kind of scared as I was being wheeled there. What would be under that ace wrap? Well it was just me under that ace wrap. I saw no incision. The incision was made in the under creases of my breast. The implant is put in the pectoralis muscle, since you have no breast tissue to hold it in place. My skin surrounding the implant was very loose. I’ve described it to people like one of those rubber chickens. You’ve got the belly and two wiggly legs. I thought oh well I guess that’s what happens when they scoop the insides out of you. But I did have my little humps from the implants. My surgeon explained that the loose tissue would shrink up to the implants and adhere. Also the implants would eventually drop into place. He used a lot of foam tape to kind of mold my skin to help pull it up where it should end up. At that point all I could think of was “they will have to remove all this tape someday, ouch”. He also had to drain my right side. He didn’t put in any drains as some surgeons do. Since this can be a source of infection, he preferred to drain it if need be. He inserted a needle and using a syringe he aspirated the fluid. It was quite a bit, but I didn’t feel anything. My chest felt numb at that point. I was in the hospital for 4 days, which included the surgery day, and William never left my side. My parents and sister brought the kids to visit every evening. I think they all were happy to see me up in bed without any IV’s almost like nothing happened. I did have to show the kids that I did have a bandage as proof that I did have surgery and my “ou-wee was taken care of”.

When I came home I got instructions not to lift more then 5 pounds. Well of course first thing my daughter wanted me to do was carry her. I told her about the 5 pounds so she ran into the bathroom and weighed herself. She was 35 pounds. She said there was a 5 in the number was that okay. I told her she could sit on my lap as long as she climbed up herself. Well that put a smile on her face.

I was given Iron pills to take daily to build up my blood count. My doctor also instructed me to drink Gatorade to help with the dehydration, from the fluid loss from the surgery. I hate Gatorade, it brings back that awful bowel prep I did several years ago for a colonoscopy. Just smelling the Gatorade makes me nauseous, but I promised so I tried the kid’s sports drink, they are pretty sweet, more like a fruit punch. Slowly I worked my way up to the “adult” Gatorade. It’s funny how now when I’m thirsty I’ll go for the Gatorade first before water.

As for the pain once home, I was on Vicodin. The first week I took it about every 6-8 hours. I would hold off until I felt that tightness in my chest. It’s a different kind of pain not your usual throbbing pain. It is similar to when your breast is engorged when nursing, only a little more intense. I also made sure I took one each time before my doctors appointment, when I knew he would need to drain my breast. As the swelling went down I had more feeling when he inserted that needle to drain the fluid.

I did have to go to the doctor every other day for another couple of weeks, to have my breast drained. It was still filling up with fluid from the surgery. As days went on the drainage was less and less. I felt I could do more and more even though I was told not to and I had plenty of help. I am a little stubborn at times and did try to do more then I was suppose to and I think that caused some excess drainage too. Once I stopped overdoing the swelling stopped.

It’s funny how the simplest task were hard to do. Like pushing the pump on the toothpaste or holding the brush to comb my daughter’s hair. I did find it easier to squeeze the travel size toothpaste over the full size toothpaste. I was also happy I had my hair trimmed prior to the surgery; it made it much easier to comb and manage. I couldn’t even open the bottle of Gatorade. My son thought it was cool that I had to ask him to open it for me. I didn’t realize that the pectoralis muscles controlled so much of the things you do with your hands.

I also was instructed not to stretch my arms above shoulder level. That was hard to obey because as the pain was less and less I automatically moved more freely forgetting about my restrictions. My husband put everything that I would need at waist level, just so I wouldn’t be tempted to stretch. I couldn’t get my incision and the tape on my breast wet so it was tub baths for the first couple of weeks. I was happy we had a hose type shower spout that came in handy washing my hair.

The other hard thing for me was to sleep with my head elevated. I usually sleep on my side. I was instructed to keep my head elevated because if you lay on your side the fluid will tend to fill in the side you are laying on. Also as soon as you put your head down too low you feel the pressure in your chest. So it is more comfortable to sleep with your head elevated. While at my parent’s house they had a nice lazy boy that was comfortable to sleep on, but once back in my own home it was hard. I tried propping pillows on the bed but I’d roll off of them during the night. So that first week back on Maui I slept on the couch. It caused a lot of turmoil for the kids. We have a king size bed and they are use to coming to sleep with us in the middle of the night. No one was getting much sleep, so I finally said; enough is enough and began to sleep in the bed again. It was amazing how things started to get back to normal again with just that step.

It’s been a month since I had the surgery now. I’m still bruised and a little tender. My left side has adhered well and the incision is barely noticeable, it is under my breast. The right side is a little behind because of the fluid in the beginning, the implant didn’t drop down as should have, but I’m hoping it will in time. I don’t feel I have normal looking breast, but they are still healing. Right now I feel like I’ve got a body builders chest. The implants are a little hard and very round. Each day it looks better and better.

As far as the pain. I feel muscle spasms or twitches in my breast. I’ve been told that may last for about 5 months as the tissue heals around the implant. The breast should also start to get softer and more normal looking. My breasts are no longer numb. I do have feeling and at times very sensitive, like when the towel brushes against them. Or the weight of my clothes is too tight against my chest. In time all of that will get better.

I did get the pathology report back. My left breast was found to have another cancer site far away from the original site also carcinoma in situ so having the mastectomy took care of it. The right breast was found to have a fibro adenoma cyst. This is a benign cyst, but I’m unsure if in time that could turn into a form of cancer. I am very happy I had the bilateral mastectomies.

I’ve just had my 6week checkup and all is healing well. My breasts are starting to feel normal again. I don’t think anyone would ever be able to tell I’ve had breast reconstruction surgery. I am back to doing almost all what I did prior to surgery. It feels good. I will still need yearly mammograms but the chance of recurrence in the remaining tissue is less then 5%.

I’ve continued to read books on breast cancer. Many have been written in the ‘80’s and early ‘90’s. The types of mastectomies that are done now are nothing like what was done then, and of course most information is on how to save your breast. From what I’ve read in regards to different woman’s experiences, even though they have had a lumpectomy, radiation and chemotherapy, eventually over time they ended up having mastectomies. In the 80’s and early 90’s, I think it was a rare thing to have both a mastectomy and breast reconstruction done at the same time. I’ve heard that some women never went back for the reconstruction because they didn’t want to face another surgery and recovery period. I can’t tell you how nice it was to know that I would not have to deal with the emptiness of no breast. At times it is even hard to believe that I’ve had surgery, except for my limitations.

It is now almost 4 months since my mastectomies. Things are really back to normal. I have taken back my job of working in the nursery. We have a small bedding plant business that I manage on my own at home. Planting, lifting, hauling, loading, there is no limitations in anything that I do. I have no pain, not even muscle spasms in my chest as I did a couple of months ago. In fact my breasts seem real now, they even wiggle and jiggle while I walk. That was pretty weird the first time I felt that, after 3 months of just having real firm breast to all of a sudden have the feeling of them jiggling, as I said weird feeling. Women have asked me if my breast look like we all see on TV when someone has breast augmentation. (The stretched grapefruit look on the sides from the implant). The answer is no. They look very real, my nipples are where they are suppose to be, the tissue is soft. And still very sensitive, at times I have like an electric shock in the areola area. The nerve endings are still healing so that is to be expected. I did have a difficult time finding Bra’s to fit me properly at first, because of the firmness of the implant after surgery. I was to wear under wire bra’s to help mold their shape. I’ve always worn under wire so that was not a problem. I found the soft cup seamless under wires fit the best. I had to stay away from the lace ones because of the sensitivity in the breast. I’d put it on and take it right off. A few weeks ago I splurged and did buy a soft lace bra and it felt so good to be able to fit in it nicely. Oh the simple pleasures in life.

Reflection

This Valentines Day 2005 makes it a year after my initial diagnosis of breast cancer. I must tell you that breast cancer is never far from my mind. I sometimes wonder if it will ever be. I had a hard time during the month of October. I’ve always enjoyed October for several reasons. My birthday for one, and the beginning of all the holidays, starting with Halloween. It was very hard that it was also Breast Cancer awareness month. I didn’t want to think anymore about Breast Cancer and yet it was everywhere. Everyday there was something in the newspaper about another fundraiser. All the magazines had adds for different items that would give a donation to breast cancer causes. Even at the service station they had a little pink toy car called Faith with it’s little pink ribbon that you could purchase. That was kind of the last straw for me. I wondered if all these little gimmicks really did give money to breast cancer? Or was it just a good way to make a buck? I remember there was a friend in the car with me and she just listened to me complain. I love the color pink and refused to wear anything pink during the month of October, because I did not want to promote breast cancer. Then my daughter came home from school one day and told me that one of her teachers were wearing the pink ribbon because her mother died from breast cancer, she then went on to say that “if you get breast cancer you die”. I have always talked openly in front of my children because I do not want them to be scared of my diagnosis, but when my daughter mentioned this I knew I had to say something and figured she was worried, and this was her way of asking me if I was going to die. I sat down and told her that I too had breast cancer and had surgery to take it out. Women don’t always die from breast cancer. If it is found early it can be treated. She then told me “okay” and went on coloring. I then realized that I need to stop complaining about the “pink month of October” and to count my blessing and rejoice. Yes I am a breast cancer survivor. The next day I wore my pink blouse and sent e-mails to all my friends and family thanking them for their love and prayers and also reminded them to not forget the, “seven warning signs of Cancer”.

-Change in bowel or bladder habits

-A sore that does not heal

-Unusual bleeding or discharge from any place

-A lump in the breast or other parts of the body

-Chronic indigestion or difficulty in swallowing

-Obvious changes in a wart or mole

-Persistent coughing or hoarseness

So on this Valentines Day my husband along with the kids and I, toasted with cranberry apple cider (a nice pink sparkling drink), to a great life.

I am not over with my adventure. I have decided to have some touch up cosmetic surgery on my breast. This is a normal happening with reconstruction surgery. My right implant is a little higher then my left side. At first I wasn’t going to have it done, but I am self-conscience of it and feel that it is noticeable if I wear certain clothes. I had the reconstruction surgery so I wouldn’t be self-conscience so I figure I might as well make everything right.

I also need to have that dreaded mammogram. It has been a year; it is time. I’m having it done prior to my touch up surgery in case anything more is found, it can all be taken care of at the same time. I don’t know what to expect with this mammogram. Will it be more painful with the implants? Will I be called back for magnificated views like I have been in the past? As I said Breast cancer is never far from your mind.

Here are a few web sites that I found very informative during my search for answers.

National Institute of Health: http://www.nih.gov/

American Society of Plastic Surgery: http://www.plasticsurgery.org/

Breast Cancer Organization: http://www.breastcancer.org/

The Komen Foundation: http://www.komen.org/

I also spent a day in the library and read anything I could find on breast cancer.