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Actors & the Drama
Men's Questions
What Is Real Courage?
Anger: Should a Man Understand It or Just Have It?
What Emotions Do We Want?
Mistakes about Power
Flattery or Criticism?
Generosity  Vs. Grudgingness
Does Kindness Make Us Strong?
What Makes a Man Honestly Sure?
Toughness & a Feeling Heart

Indecisiveness in Men—What Is the Cause?
First presented in a public seminar at the Aesthetic Realism Foundation, New York City.

The way we are decisive and indecisive has confused and even tormented people—it did me. I learned that there can be a good kind of indecision in a man that comes from his desire to know, the thing in him that doesn't want to sum things up in a quick way.

But I had an indecisiveness that was troubling. I could agonize over important decisions like whether or not to take a new job, and also about seemingly small things like what to choose from the menu in a restaurant or even what pair of shoes to put on in the morning. Once, I stood in front of the closet for ten minutes not knowing what to wear, feeling like I was in a whirl and also stuck.

The education of Aesthetic Realism understands the cause of this debilitating indecisiveness. In a class for consultants and associates, Ellen Reiss, the Class Chairman, explained:

The big reason people have trouble as to indecision is the underlying indecision as to which represents them—respect or contempt. People don't want to make up their minds about that. And while you don't, you can have all sorts of can decide...and not decide in bad ways.

I am very thankful for what I've learned on this subject because it changed me centrally and made me so much more sure of myself—something that's possible for every man.


Article Sections
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 Article Sections
The Biggest Decision
Indecisive Because We Have Two Minds
A Classic Movie about the Biggest Decision
What Men Learn in Aesthetic Realism Consultations
Nothing Is Good Enough to Have You
The Main Decision: Can We Like the World?

Another seminar of mine, Toughness and a Feeling Heart—Can a Man Have Both?, is available as a podcast.