Sometimes I just don't get it...

How the public at large could miss the boat completely on something as revolutionary as WCW/nWo Thunder, it boggles the mind. Indeed, it is times such as these that I question my faith in humanity.

WCW/nWo Thunder could have been the biggest wrestling game ever. No, it should have been. It had everything, the whole enchilada. Instead it has been scoffed at, ridiculed, swept under the rug, and shamelessly relegated to the furthest reaches of discount bins everywhere. Somewhere in the world, an Indian is shedding a tear.

I will never forget my first-ever encounter with WCW/nWo Thunder after weeks and weeks of pestering my local Blockbuster, hoping they would have a copy in stock. The same employee answered the phone every time, and his negative response was always delivered with a sardonic sneer. Over time, I grew to despise this voice.

Finally, one day, I called the store for like the third time that day, and the same employee answered, "yeah *snicker*, we have it." I really didn't care if the guy on the other end of the phone approved or not, all I knew was that the wait was over. Ecstatic, I hung up the phone, called in sick for the rest of the day and made a desperate race for the prize.

Sure enough, it was sitting on the shelf when I got there, a shiny new copy of WCW/nWo Thunder, and believe me when I say I was happier than Charlie Bucket with a frickin' Golden Ticket. I remember sitting in the aisle for what seemed like an eternity, staring at the boxart and wondering what the strange discoloration was around The Giant's groin area. In any case, I snagged the rental box and made my way for the checkout counter.

It was at that time I heard something that absolutely shattered me. I overheard the employee at the counter (the one with the sneery phone voice) saying to another employee, "Hey, do you think that loser will be in here in to pick up that crappy wrestling game he's been bugging us about? Jesus Christ, some people will play anything."

I was deflated. I stared at the empty rental box in my hand, somehow it now seemed devalued, tarnished. I cursed the store employee under my breath, swearing revenge.

Now I was faced with a huge dilemma. If I brought this box up to the counter, surely they would pin me as the annoying guy making all the phone calls, and I would quickly become the laughingstock of perhaps not only this particular Blockbuster store, but the entire nationwide chain. Faced with this glaring issue, I did what any other self-respecting and honorable person would do; I put the box back on the shelf and rented a copy of Madden instead.

Anyway, enough of the drama. When I finally did get my mitts on a copy of WCW/nWo Thunder ($1.99 in the aforementioned discount bins), I was blown away. I mean, what other game has real wrestlers cutting real in-game promos, persuading you to choose them? None. And after watching the angst-ridden Raven scratch his nutsack and tell me to pick someone else, I knew this wasn't just any run-of-the-mill rasslin' game, but something truly special.

But despite pleading a strong case on his behalf, I did not choose Raven for my first experience with the game, instead I chose the mighty Hollywood Hulk Hogan, who proceeded to astound me by a performing a head scissors, an attack I never knew existed in his arsenal! My mind began racing, wondering what other hidden gems these on-screen grapplers might have in store for me.

I could ramble on and on forever about the game's many brilliant conventions (such as a "Test of Strength" feature that drains half an opponent's lifebar while filling yours, rendering all practical match strategy useless), but really, what more needs to be said? All in all, WCW/nWo Thunder is a very special piece of software that deserves a prominent place in any video game collection, as well as your heart. It is that proverbial gift that keeps on giving, an eternally happy present from the earth compressed onto a single shiny disc. Life without it somehow seems shallow.