In my office, more emotionally distant partners sometimes tell me, "I do all kinds of things to show I care. I mow the lawn, bring in a good salary, solve problems, and I don't play around. Why is it that, in the end, these things don't seem to matter, and all that counts with my wife is that we don't 'talk about emotional stuff and cuddle'?" I tell them, "Because that's just the way we are made. We need someone to pay real attention, to hold us tight, to come very close sometimes and respond to us in an emotional way that moves us, connects with us. Nothing compares with that. You need that, too. Have you forgotten?"