This is a talk about strange things. Things I can describe, but not really explain. But it starts with a statement from Zen Master Bassui that is easy to pass over, to dismiss:
…it goes without saying that one who outwardly keeps the precepts while inwardly seeking his own true nature will attain the Buddha way as surely as water combines with water.
This statement is easy to dismiss because it starts with "keeps the precepts". Yucch, right? Sounds bad. But for me, it is the statement of someone very, very wise. It is my experience that what Bassui says is exactly true. It is my experience that if you want to truly know yourself, this is exactly the way to do it.
First, the precepts part…
For me there are just two precepts. They are my own, but I think I got them somehow from Joko’s talks. I can’t remember. They are:
Have only one face. It means, within the bounds of compassion, to be honest and up-front with everyone and everything in my life. If I have a problem with somebody, I talk to them about it. Only them; never behind their back. Never behind anybody’s back. Everything is out there. This is probably some variation on the "no gossip" precept, but I call it being "true like ice like fire", from the beautiful Bob Dylan song "Love Minus Zero, No Limit".
It is more than no gossip because it is also saying what needs to be said to the person it needs to be said to. Provided, of course, it is something that needs to be said at all. Is saying it functional? And, again, is saying it within the bounds of compassion?
It is more than no gossip because it is also means having little internal dialog. I don’t say it to myself, I say it to the person.
It is more than no gossip because it means having little private life.
Have no personal agenda. Perhaps it is just years of painful life experience that has led me to this one. Years of the pain of trying to hold on to my personal agenda, in the face of a life that could care less about my personal agenda. Perhaps it was something I learned being with my disabled son. Probably the most familiar way to state this precept is "Thy will be done." Life’s will. But when I look deeply, and am honest, I would say it is the will of my own heart.
This precept is the precept of surrender to the heart.
With these precepts I find that my personal self in the phenomenal world fits like a piece in a jigsaw puzzle. A jigsaw puzzle that is always changing, and I am a piece that is always changing to fit.
It is these precepts that make this fit seamless. One life. One glorious life. "What a Wonderful World"—that Louis Armstrong song. The self of the quiet heart.
But this is only one quarter of the story.
And now the "while inwardly seeking his own true nature" part…
This is sitting in stillness.
My deep sitting, when it happens, is like this: sensing any disturbance, mental or physical, asking "Hmmm, what is this?", identifying the disturbance (for example, it might be "Ah, a concern about potential illness in my body", or "I’m holding on to this picture of myself"), then feeling into it, accepting whatever truth is there.
Disturbance
What is it?
Feel into it
Accept its truth
I used to say "let it go", like they say in the Sedona method. That works sometimes, but it may, and often is, glossing over the "Accept its truth", learning, step. Letting it go can be avoidance or suppression. Letting the truth revealed become a part of you, letting the change happen, really resolves the issue. Reject nothing.
An example. Giving these talks, I really want to hold on to some understanding. That would make it safer, right? But there is this tightness in my body, and a disturbed feeling in my mind when I do that. I know that holding on is the wrong thing to do. Then I feel into the pain of the uncertainty I face when I let go of trying to understand.
With this still mind from deep sitting, and the quiet heart from the precepts, it is almost like… turning around… nothing fearful…
…to see the second quarter of the story…
…the self that is not of this world at all. Vast empty Self, everywhere in this world, but not of it. Vast empty Self, no world, no body, no mind. Radiant Self.
And then Bassui’s words make perfect sense. The precepts are of that reality, the reality of the Self of Perfect Love, and to live the precepts is to live the truth of that reality in this world. It is like water combining with water.
The precepts are descriptive of the Self.
The precepts are prescriptive of how, and where, to find the Self. Live this way, and find the self.
Zen is the really great way. The great way of living without being stuck at any level. The great way of appreciation and astonishment. The ruthless way—the way with nowhere to stand, nothing to hold on to. Devastating and wonderful.
I want to repeat, and expand on, what I said in the Water and Ice talk.
Amazement.
"Who would have expected?"
Upon seeing his true nature, the Sixth Patriarch said "Who would have expected that inherent nature is intrinsically pure?", and he went on with a list. In my words:
Who would have expected that inherent nature is vast, empty, and omnipresent?
Who would have expected that inherent nature is complete in itself and needs nothing?
Who would have expected that inherent nature is the highest ideals of humanity: beauty, wisdom, and unconditional love?
Who would have expected that inherent nature is peace beyond all understanding?
But, then, perhaps even more amazing, is this final one, the reverse in a way, and the third quarter of the story:
Who would have expected that this perfection, absolute perfection, has manifested, right now, as exactly this? Trees, flowers, this little body, this little mind, this life?
This ordinary life is the precious jewel beyond compare.
How could I not want to cherish it? Take care of it?
The final quarter is that there is no final quarter—just a lifetime of practice, deepening and living this reality.
Sam Gabriel, San Diego, CA
http://home.roadrunner.com/~clothespin
sam_gabriel@yahoo.com