Doug Embarrasses Himself In Front of His Favorite Author

"To Doug, I actually wrote this book. Daniel Handler 3.IX.2005"

Seal: "Library of Lemony Snicket"

Autograph: "To the composer 3.IX.2005 with all due respect"

I was in Seattle, WA over Labor Day weekend in 2005 visiting my brother Drew and got a chance to attend Seattle's 35th Annual Bumbershoot Arts Festival.  Imagine how thrilled I was to discover that my favorite author, Daniel Handler (a.k.a. Lemony Snicket) was giving a presentation!  We got our tickets in advance and came prepared, hoping for a chance to meet him - I brought his amazing first novel, The Basic Eight and also a copy of "Violet's Tango," a piece I wrote, inspired by his childrens' books.  Sure enough, it was announced that Lemony Snicket would be autographing books afterward so after his presentation we bolted out of the theater and quickly found the autograph line.  We were about 60 people back and I was very nervous, having no idea how he would react to my music.

During his presentation, Mr. Handler flatly denied that he is Lemony Snicket and informed us that in lieu of an autograph, he would emboss our books with the Snicket seal and write the date in.  While in line, someone from his publishing company came around with the stamp so I got my score stamped.  We were also informed that everyone was only allowed one autograph, so it was decided that Drew would get the book signed and I would show Mr. Handler my music.  Here's how the meeting went, to the best of my recollection:

[Ext. theater, day.  Daniel Handler sits at a folding table, pen in hand.  Drew approaches.]

DH: Hello!

Drew: Hi. [Hands over Doug's copy of The Basic Eight]

DH: Oh!  It's a book I actually wrote.  What's your name?

Drew: Doug.

DH: [Writes in the book] You know, my publisher insists that they only made one printing of this book, but this [points to a serial number] proves that they did a second.

Drew: Wow.  Cool.

DH: Yeah.  Thanks for coming.

Drew: Thank you very much!

[They shake hands and Drew steps aside.  Doug approaches the table]

Doug: Hi! It's an honor to meet you.

DH: Thank you.

[They shake hands.  Doug places his copy of "Violet's Tango" on the table.]

DH: What's this?

Doug: Well, it would be a further honor if you would sign this for me.

DH: [Looking over the cover of the score] I like that it has a secondary title.

Doug: Thank you.  I wrote it in your honor.

DH: [Continues flipping through the music] Oh!  You're the composer. Are there lyrics?

Doug: No, it's instrumental. For string orchestra.

DH: [Writes on the score] I see.  When does it get released?

Doug: About two months ago.  My publisher sends it to music stores all around the U.S.  And Australia, Europe, and Asia.

DH: Yeah.  Yeah, I know how that works.

Doug: Oh.  Well. . . um, sure. . . it. . .

DH: I'm actually working with a composer right now.  We're doing a piece that's going to be premiered by the San Francisco Symphony.

Doug: Wow!  That's great.  Is it going to be recorded?

DH: I hope so. [Hands back the music.]

Doug: Me too.

DH: Thank you for writing that - I'm honored that you would do something like that.

Doug: Thank you.

DH: I only wish I could hear it.

Doug: You can - go to Alfred.com, do a search, and you can download a sound file.

DH: I'll do that.  Wait. [Writes on the bookmark of the book he was reading.]  Alfred. . . dot. . . com.  I'll look it up.  Thanks for coming out and showing me that!

Doug: Thank you!

[Drew and Doug leave, grinning from ear to ear, thrilled that Daniel Handler reacted so well and didn't threaten to sue anybody.  Finis.]