birthright

                                                                   Fast Track
                                                                                    copyright © 2002 by Robert L. Blau
    "Hey, Esau, c'mon in! Take a load off!"
    "What's up, Jake?"
    "Oh, I just wanted to talk to you for a couple of minutes about Fast Track. I really need your help to push it through. You being the guy with the birthright and all. So, if I could just relieve you of that, ..."
    "What is 'Fast Track?'" asked Esau.
    "It's permission for the Philistines to march in and loot, pillage, and rape."
    "Good heavens, Jake! I can't approve that! It's my responsibility to protect the people from just such things! Why on earth would you want to do this?"
    "Because it's the right thing to do," said Jake. "And because the Philistines are paying me a bezillion shekels."
    "How could it be the right thing to do?" gasped Esau.
    "Because the Philistines are paying me a bezillion shekels. They can cut you in, too."
    "Are you suggesting that I can be bribed?" huffed Esau. "Because I can't be!"
    "No, I wouldn't suggest that," cooed Jake. "I'm just saying we could work out a lucrative deal for that birthright."
    "Aren't you going to offer me a bowl of soup for it?"
    "Oh, no. Birthrights are a lot more lucrative these days, what with the Philistine interest we're drawing. Is Fast Track looking any better to you?"
    "Well, ahem, it may have some good points. Are there any advantages besides being looted, pillaged, and raped?"
    "No, Esau, that's about it."
    "Hmm. I think we can work something out on the birthright thing, but I can't make the deal without guaranteed compensation for those who are impacted."
    "You mean the looted, the pillaged, and the raped? Don't worry! I'm right there with you."
    "You are? What sort of compensation did you have in mind, Jake?"
    "This is where the bowl of soup comes in, Esau."
    "Is that a bowl of soup for each lootee, pillagee, and rapee?" asked Esau.
    "No, just one bowl of soup altogether."
    "Sounds fair to me," said Esau. "Done!"

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