"Pin-R" Dave's
Tip For The Week!
1999
| November | Motorcross is more important than movies. |
| October | The human body was not constructed to smoke cigarettes. |
| September | Stolen beer tastes better. |
| May | Stay away from kids with head lice. |
| March | Coffee makes my ass perculate. |
| January | Watch out! The wasps are trying to take over the humans. |
1998
| 11/27 | There's the shovel, there's the sand, and you're a dumbass. |
| 11/20 | Drain the transmission fluid before removing the pump. |
| 11/13 | If all else fails, call Ecology. |
| 11/6 | Hey, put that in and play track 8! |
| 10/30 | Stay on the cell-phone, stay out of trouble. |
| 10/23 | In case of water landing, your cushion is a flotation device. |
| 10/16 | Does a duck with one leg swim in circles? |
| 10/9 | You can't drink beer when the sun is up! |
| 10/2 | Watch out for oil in the middle of the street. |
| 9/25 | Piso Majado. |
| 9/18 | Don't get lemon juice in an open cut. |
| 9/11 | Tequila is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! |
| 9/4 | Don't get too drunk and fall over. |
| 8/28 | All day Wednesday, you keep thinking it's Thursday. And on Friday, you're okay again. |
| 8/21 | Don't leave with your pole in the water. |
| 8/14 | Don't get into a boat with Mike. He fell out. |
| 8/7 | Cut your hair to air-condition your brain. |
| 7/31 | Why is a vagina shaped like a fish? |
| 7/24 | [-site off-line for upgrade-] |
| 7/17 | When Circuit City delivers, look for a Penske truck. |
| 7/10 | Not an entrance, no loading and no parking. |
| 7/3 | Knees heal, heads don't. |
| 6/26 | People that own glass out-houses should not shit stones. |
| 6/19 | What, exactly, is a tip? |
| 6/12 | Don't do 140 in a school zone at 2:45. |
| 6/5 | Don't get a dog wet. It smells like rotten eggs. |
| 5/29 | Never deal with Mike, because you always get the short end of the stick. |
| 5/22 | Not that one! The other one! |
| 5/15 | If your bike runs over a two-by-four, stand up! |
| 5/8 | Screwdrivers make better chisels than they do pry-bars. |
| 5/1 | Uhh... Fifty-one more to go! |
1997
| 12/12 | Shack-waffel your dillet! |
| 12/5 | When you're working on someone else's car, don't use the word "oops!" |
| 11/28 | Never date a girl with three tits. |
| 11/21 | Smoke a cigarette. |
| 11/14 | You get two legs, and a cat, and there's a good time right there. |
| 11/7 | When no one else is home, piss with the door open. |
| 10/31 | [Time off to party!] |
| 10/24 | Don't hit your funny-bone. It's not very funny. |
| 10/17 | Don't piss into the wind. |
| 10/10 | Don't call $15 Towing. They charged me $30! |
| 10/3 | If you have a gun-rack on your truck, make sure the barrel points at your head. |
| 9/26 | Never trust a cocaine dealer who owns a Ferrari dealership. |
| 9/19 | Never trust a butt doctor with poor depth perception. |
| 9/12 | Never trust a pilot with two different shoes. |
| 9/5 | Never trust a waitress with an open infection on her serving hand. |
| 8/29 | Never trust a boy-scout leader who owns a dildo shop. |
| 8/22 | Don't nut in the silver-ware drawer. |
| 8/15 | "Puss!? Let me tell you about puss!!" |
| 8/8 | Everybody should get a tattoo like mine. |
| 8/1 | |
| 7/25 | Profanity is the last resort of inarticulate motherfuckers. |
| 7/18 | Spare change is the tail-end of your pay-check. |
| 7/11 | When the gettin's good, steal your neighbor's avocados. |
| 7/4 | Be careful! I've burned my fingers six years in a row. What luck! |
| 6/27 | Uhh...Always have a tip... |
| 6/20 | If it has a kickstand, use it! |
| 6/13 | Never shake hands with a guy in a hockey mask. |
| 6/6 | Opinions are like ass-holes: everybody has one. |
| 5/30 | Don't put in any ammonia, either. |
| 5/23 | Don't put chlorine in your fish tank. |
| 5/16 | Take a bath every Saturday night, whether you need it or not. |
| 5/9 | See what happens if you park in the 15 minute loading zone for 20 minutes. |
| 5/2 | If you find a penny, pick it up. |
| 4/25 | Never throw cottage cheese at a fat chick's legs. |
| 4/18 | |
| 4/11 | If I'm busy, call back later. |
| 4/4 | Don't shoot mercury into your eyeball. |
| 3/28 | It's better to get pissed-off than pissed on. |
| 3/21 | It's better to be a smart-ass than a dumb-shit. |
| 3/14 | Don't drop your keys in lava. |
| 3/7 | Don't drink paint. |
© 1997,
1998, 1999 NSIPG