Ice
story by Leela Starsky
art by Kate
PART 3
Leia opened her eyes...and couldn't see. She blinked, trying to clear her vision, but things insisted on staying pink and blurry. She reached out and felt something hard...very close and all around her. Where am I?Leia closed her eyes and tried to slow her rising panic. Where am I?
She remembered...What?
Cold.
Yes! Cold! The snow and... What?Where was she?
Han...
She tried to say his name, but the sound wouldn't come out of her mouth, just a dull burble. Memory and recognition all came back in a rush. Leia opened her eyes. She was in a tank of bacta fluid. So this was what it felt like. She ran her hands over her body; everything seemed intact. How long had they been out there? If she was alive, there was a good chance Han would be.
She wished she could see clearly.
Something boomed over her head and she flinched. She thought she could make out figures moving around her. Suddenly she realized the fluid was draining away. Oh, the cold!She curled up into a ball.
"Come on, Leia, cough it up."
The medic, Gizela Shalleron, was manhandling her with the help of two droids. Leia wanted to fight her, to go back to that wonderfully warm quiet, but she needed to breathe.
She coughed reflexively, and bacta fluid sloshed out of her mouth. She gasped, and the mixture of air and fluid in her lungs made her cough and vomit all at once. Oh, this was hideous!
"That's it. Good girl, good girl. Too-Onebee?" She indicated that the droid was to lift the princess. Leia was coughing and shivering uncontrollably. Lifting her out of the tank, they placed her on a bed, on her side, and wrapped her in a thermal blanket.
Gizela placed a reassuring hand on Leia's head as Too-Onebee handed her a tube. "Now relax, Leia, I'm just going to suck out any of the bacta residue."
Leia gagged as the tube went down her windpipe, bringing the last of the bacta from her stomach. It was wiped away by the droid, and the medic, satisfied with the state of the princess' lungs, withdrew the tube.
"There." She handed it to the second droid and accepted the prepared hypodermic. Leia was shivering violently. "You're okay, Leia," she said soothingly. "You're doing fine." She administered the hypo to the princess' neck. "This is just going to relax you. Help stop that shivering. You'll feel warm in no time."
Leia was trying to open her eyes, but they felt stuck shut. "W-w-wh-wh-wh--"
Gizela put a hand on the girl's cheek. "Shh. Don't worry. Just relax." She stroked Leia's head. "Relax...that's it..."
The shivering ceased, and Leia's breathing deepened. Gizela turned to the droids. "She's asleep. Put her in bed four and notify me the minute she wakes."
Too-Onebee inclined his metal head. "Yes, Doctor."
They moved the princess away, and Gizela turned to the other tank in their limited medical facility. In it was Han Solo.
Leia knew that the dream had upset her, but already she couldn't remember what it was about. There were vague, disturbing images of Han and Darth Vader, and a general feeling of distress, but the more conscious she became, the less cohesive they were.
"The princess is waking, Doctor."
"Ahhh."
Leia opened her eyes and focused on Gizela Shalleron's smiling face.
"Welcome back. How are you feeling?"
It took Leia a moment to get her tongue working; her mouth felt thick and dry. "Sticky."
"Mmm, the joys of bacta immersion." She offered her a cup of water. "Drink?"
Leia accepted it gratefully, and downed it in seconds.
"More?" Leia nodded, and Gizela refilled the cup.
"How long was I in the tank?" Leia asked, her speech improving with each mouthful.
Gizela regarded her for a moment, then answered, "Ten days."
Leia almost choked on her drink. "Ten?"
"We thought we were going to lose you."
Leia looked at the other beds in the small sickbay, recognizing Merac Virdon on the one next to hers. All the others were empty. "Han?" She was almost afraid to ask. The look on Gizela's face warned her to brace herself.
"He's still in the bacta."
Two days later, Leia was waiting outside the medical center with Luke and Chewbacca while Gizela and her crew of medical droids removed a totally unresponsive Solo from the bacta tank. They were all hoping that the shock of coming out of the tank would wake him up, but the blanket-wrapped figure that floated past on the repulsor-fitted gurney looked almost lifeless.
Gizela paused in front of the Corellian's three anxious friends and hunted for something positive to say. "He's...breathing by himself." It was all she could think of. "I'll call you if anything changes."
She followed the gurney away and, without comment, the Wookiee fell in behind her. Luke and Leia watched them go.
The intercom woke Leia from what had been a restless sleep, and she looked blearily at Gizela's image on the vidscreen.
"Sorry to wake you, but Solo's taken a turn for the worse."
"I'll be right up."
Leia threw on her dressing gown and hurried to the medical center, unable to believe how far away it seemed and feeling sicker with each step. How much worse was worse? Surely Gizela didn't think he was about to die? A fractured skull and severe frostbite certainly couldn't spell death for Han Solo. After all, if Virdon could survive with his multitude of injuries, why couldn't Han?
Luke arrived at the med center at the same time she did, also in his nightclothes and looking just as disheveled. Their eyes met, but they said nothing. Chewbacca had not left the Corellian's side, and he and Gizela looked up as Luke and Leia entered Han's room.
Solo looked as if he were peacefully asleep. A little blue, but otherwise fine. All the tubes and wires were gone, and Leia wasn't sure if that was a good sign or bad.
Luke, it seemed, had decided it was bad. "How long?"
"A few hours, maybe," Gizela answered.
Chewie whimpered softly and gently stroked his friend's arm.
A few hours!Leia's heart twisted so tightly she almost cried out in pain, and it took every ounce of resolve to stop the tears that burned at the back of her eyes. A few hours? Why?He'd been so alive...
Leia was shaking her head. "He can't die."
Gizela regarded her sympathetically. "We all die."
Leia gave her a haunted, hunted look. "Not him...not now."
Gizela said gently, "You are allowed to cry, you know."
Leia grimaced, hearing Han' s voice in her head: "Afraid of feeling something, Princess?"
Gizela said sharply, "It wasn't your fault, Leia."
"But if I--"
"If there wasn't an Empire, none of us would be here."
Leia pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down, taking one of Han' s blackened hands in her hers. It felt cold. Dead. And deep down she knew that if he'd ever had any real chance of survival, it would have been amputated.
Unwanted memories flooded her mind, things
she'd tried so hard to keep deeply buried. Her mother's
death, the destruction of Alderaan, and long-dead
family and friends. And now Han would be gone, too.
He was right; she was afraid of developing close relationships. And that was why. They all died. Leia suspected that if Han had been a little more forthcoming about his past, he would have told a similar story. Her mother's face drifted into memory again, and the tears betrayed her, trickling down her face before she could stop them.
A gentle touch on her shoulder brought her back; she glanced sideways at Luke but could not meet his eyes, afraid of what she might see there. Instead, Leia stared at the hand she was holding, feeling barely a flutter of a pulse. She suddenly remembered how loudly his heart had pounded in her ear when he had thrown himself protectively on top of her during the initial cave-in. Saving her life. Losing his own.
"Who was the greatest love of your life?"she had challenged him, and he had grinned at her and said, "Kiss me."
Leia leaned across and softly touched his blue-tinged lips with her own. They were barely warm. Years of carefully bound emotions crumbled, and Leia found herself sobbing into Han's arm.
Luke was feeling more uncomfortable by the minute. His expression of sympathy seemed to have failed dismally, and the princess' uncharacteristic emotional display made him feel ashamed for witnessing it. He backed away a little, then decided abruptly to leave the room. He sat down outside the med center door and buried his face in his hands. Gizela followed him out and sat beside him.
"I'm sorry," Luke apologized. ''I had to get out of there for a little while."
Gizela put an arm around his shoulders. "It's okay, Luke."
She frowned as Chewbacca stepped out of the room. The Wookiee had not left Solo's side since he'd come out of the bacta tank. "Is he--?" Gizela began, and Chewie shook his head sharply.
I nside, Leia was alone with Han, but unaware of their solitude. Her tears seemed to flow for an etemity and then, exhausted, she fell asleep where she was, head on his arm, her small fingers clutching his blackened hand.
Gizela was concerned that Solo's time was running out. "Chewie, he would want you with him." Beside her, Luke shuddered, and she looked at him. "Are you all right?"
Luke nodded, but his skin felt as if it were crawling, and all the hair on the nape of his neck was standing on end.
Gizela was fed up with trying to understand their odd behavior. She opened the med center door and stood transfixed by the sight before her.
Solo was looking at her.
He smiled and lifted a finger to his lips to keep her from crying out, then resumed gently caressing the sleeping princess' hair.
Astounded, Gizela gaped. She glanced back at Chewie and Luke, then back into the room, her eyes wide with disbelief.
Chewbacca looked into Solo's room, curious as to what had left the medic so shocked. He howled in amazement and launched himself toward his partner.
Solo winced when Leia's head jerked up. She saw his alert face before he disappeared in a deluge of hollering fur, and she felt him squeeze her hand. Looking down at Han's fingers, she noticed that they were pink and healthy.
The room began to spin. Something was thundering in her ears, and it wasn't just the Wookiee's expressions of joy. Sudden nausea gripped her, and Leia fled into the en-suite and vomited.
Gizela was trying to scan Solo, but the Wookiee kept getting in the way. Luke just stood there, gawking.
"Han, how are you feeling?" Gizela asked.
Solo croaked, "A little strange, actually." He tried to clear his throat. "Is Leia all right?"
Gizela glanced at the 'fresher door. "I don't know. She was..." The scanner grabbed her attention. "This is impossible..."
Solo smiled. "So you found us, huh? I felt sure we'd had it. Something hit me on the head and--"
Chewbacca interrupted, growling extensively.
"Youfound us?" Solo grinned at him. "Thanks, pal. How long have I been here? Did I miss anything?"
Gizela just stared at him, unable to answer. Luke's thoughts were entirely his own, and he kept looking at the door to the 'fresher. Chewie chattered at Solo for quite some time.
Solo frowned. "Dead?" More growls. ''I was dying?"He looked at Luke for conflrmation, then Gizela. The doctor looked so perturbed, Solo had to chuckle. "And you'd all come to...pay your respects?"
Chewbacca chided him, and Solo checked his mirth, despite the fact that he found the whole idea hilarious. The others looked so serious. "There was only Leia here when I woke," he said, trying to sound hurt, "and she was asleep."
"Leia was upset," Luke explained.
"Understandable." Solo nodded sagely.
"Veryupset."
It was a verbal slap, and Solo had to force himself to keep a straight face. He cleared his throat and directed a yell toward the toilet door. "Princess? You all right?"
No answer.
"Your Worship?"
They could hear water rushing in the sink for a few moments, and then the door slid open and the princess stood in the frame, wet tendrils of hair clinging to her very white face. Her eyes were red and she was trembling.
Solo was impressed. "You look like you've had a bad night."
She didn't answer for a long while. "Actually, I've had a few lately."
"This defies all known boundaries of science!" the doctor muttered. "Even your hands! Han Solo, you should be dead."
"So everyone keeps telling me."
"But--all my instruments tell me you are in perfect health. Your adrenaline levels are up, but that's understandable. Your hormone levels are up, but don't worry--I'll warn all the girls."
Solo grinned. "Well, there you go. Hey, did I get to go in the tank?"
"Yes, you did."
"Damn! I missed it!" He looked back at the princess, who was remembering, vividly, his time in the bacta tank. She would never forget it. "So, why were you throwing up?"
Leia swallowed. She had no idea why; she just knew she was a physical and psychological mess. And that it was his fault.
"C'mere." He waved at her to come closer. "You haven't even said hello."
Leia suddenly stormed over to him and jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "Han Solo, don't you ever do this to me again!" she cried, then fled the room, leaving the others in shock.
Luke considered going after her, but his better judgment told him to leave her be.
Gizela considered going after her, but the exhilaration of having a resurrected patient was far too seductive. She leaned on the bed and smiled at him. "Well, Solo, you may feel fine, but you're not leaving the med center. I've got a million and one tests I want to run on you."
Solo was far from enthusiastic. "Oh, come on, Giz--"
"Give me a break; I've never had a miracle happen under my nose before." She looked at Chewie and Luke, and said, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Why? What are you going to do that they can't be here for?"
Gizela smiled sweetly and handed him a specimen bag. "Well, for a start I want you to pee into this."
Solo rolled his eyes and the other two made for the door, amused.
Luke waved. "We'll leave you to it."
Solo scowled. "Traitor."
"What? You want me to stay and watch you pee?"
"Get out."
Chewie's guffaws could be heard as he walked down the icy corridor. Solo looked at the bag and then at the doctor.
She smiled. "Would you rather I wait outside?"
Luke and Chewie parted company at the mess room, Chewie heading for the Falconand Luke into the personnel wing, to the cabin he shared with Wedge Antilles and Zev Jansson. He was almost there when he stopped, a fearsome debate raging in his head.
Leia's quarters were down the next hallway.
She had been so distressed...
In a few moments, he stood outside the princess' cabin. He stood there for two minutes before he finally worked up the nerve to sound the chime.
She opened the door and regarded him unenthusiastically. ''I guessed it'd be you or Gizela."
"Gizela's far too excited about Han."
Leia nodded.
"Are youall right?" Luke asked. ''I was worried--"
"I'm fine, Luke," Leia assured him, hoping she sounded convincing. She ran a hand across the top ofher head in a weary gesture. "I'm just tired."
"I'm sorry. I'll let you get back to bed."
"Thanks."
She moved to shut the door, and Luke stopped her. "Leia?"
"Mmm?"
"Do you have any idea what happened in there?"
Leia regarded him with troubled eyes; it was all she could think about. "No," she answered. "Do you?"
"No." Luke shook his head, but the uncertainty of his response piqued Leia's interest.
"But?" she prompted.
Luke said, "I feltsomething."
Now she was all ears. "What?" Something to do with the Force, perhaps? That would make sense.
"A sort of weird...tingling. Kind of creepy. And right after--we found Han."
"What do you think it was?"
"I don't know..."
"The Force?" she suggested.
"Maybe."
"Then it was something you did." She sounded relieved.
"No," Luke said positively. "It wasn't me."
"Then who?" she demanded. Luke stared into her eyes and she blanched. "No--"
"You were the only one with him!" Luke insisted.
"Luke, what you're suggesting..." She struggled to find the right words. "It'd be funny if I weren't so tired! "
"Ididn't know I was a Force-sensitive until Ben showed me! You might be the same."
Leia was shaking her head. "No."
"But--"
"No."She looked away, avoiding eye contact. "It's impossible."
"Why?"
She was looking distressed again. "Because it is!" She turned away, and said, ''I have to go to bed. Good night, Luke."
"'night, Leia."
She closed the door. Luke regarded it for a moment, then turned and headed for his own quarters.
Leia spent the next week avoiding Luke and Han. Luke took it stoically, certain her mood would pass, but Solo wanted desperately to talk to her, if only to find out how she had fared after their ordeal. And he was mightily pissed off at how successfully she had made herself scarce. She'd smile at him as they passed in the corridor or across the control room, but always managed to be too busy to talk.
It irritated him that he felt such a need to spend time with her, but to then have her avoid him--that was like a challenge in itself. He'd tried to convince himself she wasn't worth the effort, and had almost succeeded when he met her in the cavern that had become the new supply depot.
"Well, well, well," he purred arrogantly. "It's the elusive lady herself."
Leia looked trapped and barely glanced at him, making a show of rummaging through one of the smaller containers. "Hello, Han."
Solo indicated the shelves. "This is all very familiar, don't you think?"
"Just a bit." Wherewere the power cells?
"Fond memories?"
Leia could not get the image of him near death out of her mind, but she managed to say, "Not all of them, no." She shut the container, obviously irritated, and moved to the next one.
"No," Han agreed, and self-consciously scratched the back of his head.
Leia decided she could manage without the power cells for a little longer and was closing the container when, evidently sensing that she was about to take flight, Solo asked, "What're you looking for?"
"Comlink cells," she admitted. "But it doesn't matter--" Solo reopened the first container she'd been looking in. "How many did you want?"
"They're not in there," she snapped. ''I looked--"
Solo pulled a bag of cells out and held it up.
Leia regarded it for a moment, then said quietly, "Two."
Solo fished out two and handed them to her.
"Thank you."
He smiled and said softly, "You're welcome."
''I have to go." She started to bolt but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.
"Can we talk?"
She glanced at him, almost fearfully. "About what?"
Solo removed his hand as a fighter pilot entered the aisle and moved past them, smiling a friendly acknowledgment at Solo's pleasant nod.
Leia waited until the pilot had moved away before answering the Corellian. ''I have to go."
Solo moved back a step, resigned. "Fine." His discouraged tone made her look at him. "You've hardly been able to manage a civil word to me since I woke up in the med center. If Chewie and Luke hadn't told me how upset you'd been, I'd think you wished I'd died."
The princess was mortified. "Of course I don't wish you'd died!"
"Well, you have a funny way of showing it."
Leia hugged herself. "I'm sorry." She glanced at the other pilot down the aisle, then looked up at Han. "What did you want to talk about, Han?"
He leaned against the shelves. "Well, how are you, for a start?"
"Fine."
"Nicely recovered from our little ordeal?"
She nodded. "And you?"
"Pretty much..."
"Your hands--? Was there any loss of...I mean, can you...was there any nerve damage?"
Solo smiled, holding out his hands for her to see. "No." He didn't think he'd ever seen the princess so nervous; what did she think he was going to do to her?
"Good." They could hear voices in the next aisle. ''I really have to go."
"You should wear your hair loose more often, you know." Thatmade her look at him. "When I saw you in the med center with your hair all...like it was..." He had her full attention and cast about for the right words. "Well...did you see Luke'sface?"
Leia was appalled. "You were dying,Han. Do you really think I'd be worrying what I looked like or what other people thought I looked like?"
''I thought you looked lovely," he said, inclining toward her fractionally.
"That's because you'd just woken up..." she said, unable to meet his eyes.
"And why were you sick?" he asked, addressing the question that had plagued him since his resurrection.
''I don't know. Nerves, I guess."
"Luke thinks it was you--something you did. He hasn't said it, but I can tell he thinks it. The way he looks at you."
Leia grimaced. "Luke's always looked at me like that."
One side of Solo's mouth twitched up. "No, this is different."
"He thinks I have Force sensitivity," she sighed, exasperated. "Which is totally ridiculous. More likely it's youor Luke doing it from afar without realizing."
Solo chuckled at the suggestion of himself possessed by the same mumbo-jumbo as Luke, but acquiesced to put her at ease. "Maybe." He moved closer. "But it was yourhead on my arm when I woke up." He took her left hand in both of his. "Youholding my hand."
She stared at his hands, then turned strangely haunted eyes up to his. "You were dying."
''I dreamed you kissed me." He kept his voice low, soothing. "Or was that part of our Truth or Dare?"
Leia tensed her hand and he let her pull it free, but she did not look at him. "No."
"So I dreamt it?" he pressed.
This time she looked straight into his eyes. "No."
So she hadkissed him. A whisper of a smile touched Solo's face and he contemplated her for a long moment. They were both fighting this attraction tooth and nail, he realized. Why?
Leia looked away as two pilots from Rogue Squadron appeared at the end of their aisle. Both men saw Solo, waved enthusiastically, and headed toward him.
"Your adoring subjects," Leia muttered, trying unsuccessfully not to smirk. Solo scowled good-naturedly, and Leia's smirk swelled into a full-blown smile. "See you later, hotshot."
She walked away, and Solo turned his attention to the approaching pilots, Zev Jansson and Barlon Chambers. He liked Jansson; good pilot, greatdrinker, and a genuinely funny son of a bitch. Chambers, on the other hand, thought he was the greatest comic on the base, when in fact, he was about as funny as a day on the Death Star. And he was a sleazy prick. Solo made a mental note to focus his next practical joke on Chambers.
"How you doing, Solo?" Jansson asked. "All thawed out now?"
Solo smiled. "I'm fine."
Chambers indicated the departing princess. "Didn't interrupt anything, I hope?"
"No," Solo said, not missing a beat. "Why?"
The pilots shared a glance. Solo's usual response when accused of flirting with the princess was to upbraid them all for interrupting his crucial move. This new reaction suggested they had, in fact, intruded. Which also implied...
"Did Luke fill you in about our run-in over Daineer?" Jansson asked, deliberately changing the subject as they moved out of the supply depot.
"No." He had Solo's undivided attention. "Imperials?"
"Vader's fucking flagship!" crowed Chambers.
Solo gave them an awed, melodramatic, "No!" and they moved down the corridor, laughing.
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PART 1 PART 2