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* Graduation *
(please don't fret--none of these are essential to understanding this story)
There are corners of the universe we know by heart, places familiar to us as our own voices. We know just how the paths within them turn, what's worth looking at, and what's best to ignore. Walking these spaces we feel a physical part of them, as if we're on the map along with this hall, that building, this road. The lay of the land is so ingrained in us that each of our footsteps within them seems to grow up from the ground until we're tall as trees, tall as giants, masters of all we survey. The relentless rhythm of life, however, has a way of taking these places away from us, and us away from them--just as we become conscious of our mastery. Suddenly we've learned all we can there, gotten everything we're going to out of it, and it's time to move on. Years pass. Places change. Some cease to exist. But in our minds we can always go back to these corners of the heart. We inevitably do. And when we're there, we are masters once more. Princess Leia Organa was all too familiar with places that no longer existed. She'd spent four years abandoning one Alliance base for another, and at each worn a path so well she could walk it in her sleep. This last year she'd spent shuttling between makeshift bases of the New Republic while Rogue Squadron secured Coruscant for Republic headquarters. Then there was Alderaan, an entire planet of obliterated corners. As she twisted and turned along the familiar path of the New Republic base on Olean toward her quarters, she suddenly became aware of how heavy her feet fell, how she felt as tall as the walls around her. Maybe it was time to go. Leia waved her palm over the entrance pad to her place and stood for a moment in the doorway. The cool air of the apartment caressed her shoulders, bare save the straps of her long, white, loosely belted tunic. The current swept over her toes, exposed by the strappy flat sandals she wore. She wiggled them and stepped in. The room was still and dark as a sanctuary. She turned her gaze to the desk, the loops of her braided brown hair brushing her back, and noticed for the first time how the power lights of the electronic equipment in the room--some steady, some flashing, some pulsing--created a miniature city at night, a city of lights. Like Coruscant. Leia reached out for her chair, set herself down in it, and rolled it up to the
desk. From the bag slung on her shoulder she produced a datapad and switched it
on, its white-blue glow illuminating her face. She called up a file and read it
again. The one she'd just gotten from Mon Mothma formalizing her offer to
install the Princess in the Inner Council, to make Leia a part of the day-to-day
governing of the New Republic on Coruscant. Slowly she leaned back in her chair
and rubbed her forefinger under her lip. Her eyes shifted to the outline of the
Rebel-issue blaster she'd left on her desk, then to the small red and green
power lights that stared, flashed, and winked at her. Yes, maybe it was time to
go.
The entrance chime to Leia's quarters sounded and the doors slid open to reveal
the familiar lean form of Han Solo. He peered in to the dark of the room and
wondered for a nanosecond if he'd opened the wrong door.
"Sweetheart?" he asked, setting his hands on the doorjambs and leaning in.
"I'm here, Han," Leia said from behind her desk, then stood to walk toward him.
Her white dress reflected the hall light behind him. He smiled and walked to
meet her.
"It's kinda romantic in here," he muttered as their bodies met and she tilted
her face up for a kiss.
"I want to ask you something," Leia said when their lips parted. She took Han's
hand and led him toward the desk, then tapped a small circular desk lamp on and
sat down.
"Yes," he answered as he pulled up a chair and sat to face her.
Leia stared speechless at him for a moment. "You've already heard?" she asked in
surprise.
"What--you've been discussing our love life with the troops?" Han asked with a
sly look. "I don't think so. But whatever you have to ask me in a dark room, I'm
definitely saying 'yes' to."
"Oh," Leia exclaimed and poked him, "you're incorrigible. Come on, I'm serious."
"I know," Han said and straightened his expression. "You know me--always tryin'
to add some levity. Talk to me."
Leia took a deep breath, then spoke. "Mon Mothma has offered me a position on
the Inner Council."
Han smiled and tried to hide his hesitation. This was going to change
everything. "Well, we knew that was just a matter of time, beautiful," he
drawled. "Congratulations!"
Leia blushed, but you couldn't tell in the dark of the room. "Thanks," she said,
"but the question is--do I accept it?"
Han leaned back in his chair and appreciated her left-handed consideration of
him. "You do have your moments," was as close as Leia had gotten to her first
compliment to him when he'd come up with one of his trademark bright ideas to
get to Bespin and evade the Imperials by first floating away with their garbage.
Expressing tender feelings just didn't come naturally to her, did it? He'd
decided he loved her for that, too. She was one tough but delectable cookie.
"I think we both know the answer to that," he said. "This is what you spent the
first 19 years of your life preparing for--to rule. The chaos of the field isn't
for you, Leia. It's been over a year since you guys got me out of carbonite and
I'm still tryin' to get some weight on you. Besides, isn't it time you cash in
on all your hard work?"
Leia sat mute for a moment, then nodded. "The truth is I've gotten sort of
addicted to this hand-to-mouth existence. It is exciting...but...."
"I think the question is what do you and me do about your new job?" Han said.
The hum of the desk lamp filled the silence that followed. The wildly differing
strengths that had first brought this Princess, this ex-smuggler, and a Jedi
named Luke Skywalker together and made them such a compelling and effective trio
were threatening to tear them apart for what seemed to be good this time. Leia
and Luke had their newly discovered twinship to help keep them together. What
exactly did Leia and Han have these days?
Leia stared at the desktop and drummed her fingers on it. "I'd be on Coruscant,"
she said softly.
"And I'd be doing my General thing all over the galaxy," Han said.
"We'd never see each other," she moaned. "What would become of us?"
Han took her hands and levelled his hazel eyes with her liquid brown ones. "What
would you like us to become?" he intoned.
Leia searched for the courage and strength to acknowledge what he was alluding
to and how she felt about it. He'd joked about her being his wife, on Colosse.
He'd said later he was serious, though, and that it was up to her to decide if
he was the one for her. He knew how he felt: with the help of age and wisdom
he'd finally found someone he cared about more than money, the Millennium
Falcon, or himself. She was the one for him, and he was proud for anyone and
everyone to know it. He'd overcome his jealousy--of Luke first as Leia's
potential lover then as her twin, and of the Alliance turned New Republic. Both
took some of her time and passion away from him.
"It's OK, Leia," Han said encouragingly, understanding her struggle. "I'll be
right here waiting for you."
Leia gave an apologetic smile. For her part she was coming to strike that
balance between work and relationships. She'd taken the pressure off herself to
exceed at loving this man and was just being herself. And she was learning not
to escalate arguments with him; they'd mastered that art and found it hurt way
more than helped. How many years had they wasted hurling insults at each other,
trying to convince themselves they weren't meant for each other? Combined with
Luke's helping her recognize and harness her latent Force senses and intuition,
Leia's growing wisdom in relationships made every passing day with Han a better
one.
She inhaled deeply, having forgotten to breathe under the spell of Han's hazel
gaze. The lamplight traced their facing profiles. It'd be so easy to say the
words he wanted to hear. But she couldn't. It wasn't because she wasn't sure she
loved him; she'd happily accepted a while ago that she was hopelessly in love
with this scoundrel; she wasn't fighting that anymore. She just didn't know if
marriage was for her, especially if she joined the Inner Council--her days would
be jam-packed with meetings and paperwork, and official dinners and more
paperwork. And Han's line of work wasn't exactly safe; she hated when he put
himself in harm's way, though she admired it at the same time--from the day
they'd met. Did she want to tie herself to such an emotional roller coaster?
Would it be fair to tie him to her endless schedule of governmental duties? She
needed to think, to let her feelings rise from the dark depths she kept them at.
It was always work first, emotions later with her. She needed to feel now.
"I...I can't, Han," she said at last. "I'd love to but I can't just yet. I need
some time...can we go see Luke?"
Han rubbed his thumbs over hers and nodded. "I wouldn't have it any other way,"
he said, honoring the bond she and Luke had always had, even stronger now that
they were aware of their link through the Force as well as twinship. "Just don't
say no," he added with a wink.
"Oh, no," Leia said as she pulled him to her with a knowing smile, "I could
never say no to you."
The crab-shaped shadow of the Millennium Falcon skimmed along the damp, foggy
atmospheric shroud that clung to Dagobah. Just when it seemed the shadow would
pierce the surface and emerge into the troposphere, it dove and disappeared
beneath it.
"OK, Chewie," Han said, scanning the murky topology below, "punch in those
coordinates the kid gave us."
The wookiee copilot called up the information Luke had given Leia and she'd
entered in the database before they left Olean, and watched the computer set
course for Yoda's old house. Luke stayed there during his occasional visits back
to the planet where his formal Jedi training had begun, to the place where he'd
learned--and unlearned--so much.
Han ratcheted the mike down on his headset. "Strap yourself in, beautiful," he
announced to Leia.
"Yes, sir General sir," her voice answered from behind as she walked into the
cockpit clad in fatigues as drab as the planet they were landing on. She didn't
know it but she looked a lot like Luke during his first visit to Dagobah. With a
smile she laid a hand on Chewbacca's shoulder and sat behind the wookiee.
"This place is a real beaut," Han said, jittery at the pervasive haze outside,
"just the sort of place a guy like Yoda would have hung out...at least from how
Luke described him."
"The Force works in strange ways," Leia said. "At the time of the Jedi Purge,
this place was perfect for hiding."
"I guess," Han said warily. "This planet sure has been playin' havoc with our
sensors, even before we entered the atmosphere. Good thing no one wants to come
here, otherwise who knows what other traffic might be flyin' around."
The ship was nearing the surface. Silently they observed the gray-brown trees
whose limbs knotted to form a dismal canopy over the bogs underneath.
"There better be enough solid ground down there to hold the Falcon," Han edged.
Chewbacca roared his agreement.
"Relax. Artoo made the calculations," Leia assured them. "Look, there's the
clearing now." A patch of dark brown appeared below just ahead of them.
"Let's do this nice 'n' easy, Chewie," Han said, growing more and more
uncharacteristically nervous by the nanosecond. "I don't want to have to ask
Luke to do his ship levitation trick for us."
"I know my freighter starships, Zac," said a winged, teal-skinned Toydarian in
the captain's chair of a small scavenger ship approaching Dagobah, "and I'm
telling you that was a YT-1300."
The tall, thin, strawberry-blonde man beside him in torn, dirty overalls that
were just a little too short for him ran his hands over his face. "Man, Balmat,
I don't wanna go down there!" Zac argued. "It's a swamp planet. We don't need
credits that bad. Why are we even in this Force-forsaken system?"
"Are we in the parts business or not, huh?" Balmat admonished. "We don't get to
pick and choose. We go where the business takes us, and right now it takes us to
the armor plates off that freighter. Do you know how much they're worth, my
friend? Quite a few credits, yes," he congratulated himself at the thought,
"quite a few."
"Yeah, right," Zac shot back. "You're crazy! I'm not goin' down there."
"I don't pay you for your opinion, human," Balmat answered. "I'm in charge here,
and we're going." Slowly, the ship entered Dagobah's atmosphere.
"I can't believe you actually hang out here," Han said as he sat in Yoda's old
house hunched over a bowl of stew Luke had made in preparation for the Falcon's
arrival. The Jedi had felt their approach hours before, and Leia had assured him
then that all was well, that she just wanted to talk.
'What? Chewie won't be Best Wookiee at your wedding?' Luke had asked her
jokingly. 'No,' she'd replied with a laugh. 'It's nothing like
that...quite...yet.'
Sitting between Han and Leia in his old Alliance fatigues, Luke turned his soft
blue eyes to the low ceiling of the house and remembered how many times he'd hit
his head on it. And still did, occasionally, when he wasn't thinking.
"Chewie passed on the close quarters here--hope you don't mind, kid," Han said,
then turned to Leia with a grin. "Now you, Your Shortness, this might be just
the place for you. I can see it now. You and some of your Ewok buddies...."
Leia mock-frowned. "He's so amusing, isn't he?" she said to Luke with a gesture
toward the Corellian.
"Come on, guys," Luke said, trying not to laugh, "what's the deal? I mean, it's
great to see you, but I don't think you came here for the scenic vistas."
"Vistas? What vistas?" Leia asked with a mischievous look at Luke. "We're in the
middle of a swamp."
Han rolled his eyes; here they went sharing another bit of sibling humor again.
"I was misinformed," Luke said in a parody of the tone he used for Jedi mind
tricks.
The Corellian joined in their laughter despite himself. "OK, who's amusing now,
kids?" he said then nodded toward Leia. "Tell him about your promotion."
Luke studied Leia with a growing smile. "Mon Mothma's offered me a position on
the Inner Council," she said.
Luke's smile broke wide open and he slapped his hands on his knees. "I knew it!"
he exclaimed. Han and Leia exchanged I-told-you-you-can't-hide-anything-from-a
Jedi looks. "No, I mean I really just knew it!" he hastened to add. "That's
great, Leia. Congratulations...though I don't think this is much of a surprise,
is it?" He turned his gaze to Han, who was nodding.
"No," Leia said, "that's pretty much what Han said, too. The question Luke leaned back against the wall and considered the question. "I see what you
mean," he said. "You'd be on Coruscant on a daily basis, and Han and I would be
--"
"Wherever our work needs us to be," Han finished for him, peering under his
brows at Luke and Leia both.
"I guess I knew this time was coming," Leia said, "and Force knows things have
taken us our separate ways before," she added, laying a hand on Han's, "but this
is different. It seems so...final."
Han and Luke exchanged glances. "Well, you want the job, don't you?" Luke asked
Leia tentatively. "I think you'd always regret it if you didn't take it."
"You're right," she said with conviction. "I'm ready for this. I want it."
Luke nodded. "So I guess we just need to make some things official," he said and
straightened. "Like, I'm always going to be there for you guys, both of you.
Anytime you need me I want to be there. I will be there." A warmth washed over
Han and Leia, and they smiled.
"And you two...well...you know I wish you'd just get it over with and get
married," Luke added. They all laughed but quickly sobered.
"Leia, think about it," Luke said, reaching out to touch her. "Feel about it.
Dagobah is a good place for that. The Force is strong here; it'll clear your
mind, bring your instincts to the surface. You were meant to think about it
here."
Just as the tendrils of his meaning reached her mind, he was gone, stepping into
the bog outside. Leia turned with a hopeful look to Han, and Han returned it.
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