CATEGORIES

(JUMP TO A CATEGORY, OR JUST SCROLL DOWN -- ALL LINKS ARE ON THIS PAGE)

• New Additions

• All Time Favorites

• This is Really on the Internet?!

• Miscellaneous Cool Web Sites

• Actually Useful Stuff

• Disc Golf

• Web Cams

• Theatre

• Film

• Television

• Searching The Web

• Friends' and Relatives' Pages

• Government

• Publications & Periodicals

• Poker

• Music

• Software

If you're looking for something you can't find on my links page, give Google a shot:

• IMPORTANT CHARITY EVENT - The Industry Support Fund was established by the Writer's Guild Foundation to provide financial assistance to non-writer industry members affected by the strike. I have been helping organize what promises to be a fun, charitable, and possibly profitable Sunday afternoon, complete with free Pink's Hot Dogs! Sign up today!!!
  
  
• BE KIND(?) - Looks like somebody noticed that the concept behind a certain major motion picture seems to bear strong resemblances to a certain sketch from a certain Nickelodeon sketch comedy show...
  
  
• SUPER MARIO GALAXY - If you own a Wii, don't even waste time reading the rest of this or clicking on the link. Just run to a store and buy yourself a copy of one of the greatest traditional 'run and jump' video games ever made. It is FANTASTIC!
  
  
• THE STORY OF STUFF - A 20 minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of production and consumption patterns.
  
  
• SCIENTISTS LOCATE SARCASM BRAIN AREA - Really. It's inbetween the knock-knock joke portion of the cerebellum and the pun nodes.
  
  

• BOOMSHINE - A simple, beautiful, ADDICTIVE little flash game you play on-line in your browser. Start a chain reaction with one click, then sit back and see if you're gonna clear enough tiny balls from the screen to advance. So simple yet so challenging, frustrating, ADDICTIVE, and (occasionally) extraordinarily fullfilling. Did I mention it's addictive?
  
  
• AMAZING 3-D DRAGON - A really really REALLY cool little paper dragon that you can print out and build yourself (for free!). He looks totally 3-D and his head seems to turn as his eyes follow you around the room. You can check out a video and grab the necessary graphic at this page of the Mighty Optical Illusions website.
  
  
• SKIDBOOT - If you don't like dogs, don't watch this clip about the smartest, most amazing pooch you've ever seen. If you do like dogs, enjoy. Sure it's a little cutesy and has too much sappy underscoring, but the dog is truly amazing. Incidentally, "Skidboot" was my nickname in college.
  
  
• GOOGLE SMS - Even if you don't have a web-enabled cell phone, you can use this service to get an answer from Google texted straight to your phone. I've used it to do stuff like get addresses for restaurants while I'm on the way but not sure where I'm going - but that's just the tip of the information iceberg. Do yourself a favor and save 46645 (the Google SMS phone number) in your cell phone. It will come in handy, I promise.
  
  
• THE BEST ICE CREAM IN THE WORLD - Special thanks to Hollywood power broker (and Meshugena.net patron) Doug Robinson for turning us on to this unparalleled taste treat - the ice cream equivalent of a fine single barrel whiskey. Made in small batches out of superior ingredients and then handpacked - I guarantee that it is the best ice cream you will ever taste, They ship their delicious product to your home in a cooler packed with dry ice. Worth the price and the wait - order it today! (I highly recommend the Peanut Butter Chip, Black Rasberry Chip, and Mocha Chip).
  
  
• VOICE MAIL SHORTCUTS - Don't you hate those endless voice mail customer support menus? Don't you wish you knew which series of numbers to hit to get to human being? Paul English has put together a very informative list of shortcuts for almost 200 different often-called companies and government agencies.
  
  
• HASIDIC REGGAE! - Just when you thought you couldn't find any decent Hasidic Reggae on the web, along came Matisyahu. This is truly great.
  
  
• I LOVE EGG! - Do yourelf a favor, go to this website and click on the "egg song" link in the upper right hand corner. Eggs! Get your eggs here! Fresh and white eggs are here! Wiggle jiggle! Yellow middle! That's the best of what you are!
  
  
• THE SNEEZE - "Half Zine. Half Blog. Half not good with fractions." I've plugged it before, but it's worth plugging again! This website created by my very talented friend Steve has grown into a full blown phenomenon. Be sure to check out the section entitled Steve, don't eat it!.
  
  
• NIGERIAN SPAM SCAM SCAM - We all get those eMails promising us thousands of dollars if we could help some poor persecuted rich Nigerian by letting them deposit their millions into our bank account for a short period. Well, the extremely talented Dean Cameron started a nine month correspondence with one of these spam scammers that all began with a simple reply: "Great! Do you have any toast?" The resulting volumes of email (and phone calls) have been turned into an extremely hilarious and successful stage play that was recently the toast (pun intended) of Edinburgh. Check out this website where you can read it ALL.
  
  
• FUN ADDICTIVE GAME - Click on 'free play' and then 'wait in the queue' (it won't take long) to play this surprisingly challenging and fun game where someone throws you a crumpled up piece of paper and then you throw it in the wastebasket.
  
  
• WILL FERRELL AS GEORGE BUSH - An EXTREMELY funny video clip. Meshugena.net urges everyone to vote and supports your right to vote for whoever you damn well please (but if you want to get on our good side you'll help defeat George Bush).
  
  
• PHIL GORDON - He's tall, he's smart, he's a TV star, he plays great cards, he doesn't suck at Scrabble, and he has a new fancy website.
  
  
• POKER HAND ANALYZER - If you can't calculate that a Ten-Jack of Diamonds is a 63.29% pre-flop favorite over an Eight-Nine of Hearts, don't worry. The good folks at twodimes.net have posted this nifty calculator for you.
  
  
• CELEBRITY POKER SHOWDOWN - Bravo has made a real nice website to support the little program I've been pouring my life blood into. Check it out. Learn about the game, the players, the hosts, the schedule, get downloadables, and more!
  
  
• OFFICIAL MESHUGENA.NET MERCHANDISE - Limited edition hats, shirts, flying discs, intimate apparel and more! Powered by CafePress.
  
  
• WARNING: ADDICTIVE WORD GAME - Text Twist is a VERY addictive shockwave word game. You'll love this game as surely surely as the letters in my name spell "NAME DRAWN WHEN ILL."
  
  
• THE TAILOR OF A CAT - Bountiful gratitude to Suzy for sending me this absolutely priceless Japanese site that promotes and sells little costumes in which you can dress up your cat. Not only are the pictures hysterical, but the "english" that describes them is brilliant. Sneak preview: "This is a dear chicken transformation set. It is made from the two-tone felt cloth of yellow and orange, and even if it takes, it is finished to the pop impression."
  
  
• LIGHTSABER KID - This is painfully hysterical. Apparently this kid borrowed a video camera at school so he could record himself pretending to do battle with a lightsaber. He forgot to take the tape out of the camera. Oops. You can't be THIS funny if you're trying to be. This is one of the funniest, most tragically embarrassing things I've seen in a long time. (You'll need the Window's Media Viewer to see it.)
  
  
• KIKKOMASO - A very entertaining musical Japanese bit of animation that has something to do with Soy Sauce and guys with fish where their head should be. "Show me... Show you... Kikkoman... Kikkoman!"
  
  
• UNIFORMED FIREFIGHTERS ASSOCIATION - These are the men who run up the stairs toward the fires. Please give what you can to the widows and children's fund.
  
  
• IMDb - THE INTERNET MOVIE DATABASE. A ridiculously exhaustive database of everyone and everything having to do with movies.
  
  
• INTERNET THEATRE DATABASE - As the IMDb is to movies, so is the ITDb to Broadway and Off Broadway theatre. Look up the original cast of any show, or maybe just your favorite actor.
  
  
• REFDESK.COM - From the father of Matt Drudge, internet superstar, comes perhaps the most useful site on the net. If you need to find something out, start here. Clear, well-organized links to anything and everything that's truly useful about the internet.
  
  
• GREAT REFERENCE SITE - (Like REFDESK but less bells and whistles) When a reference site is recommended by none other than the record holding five-time Jeopardy champion Jerome Vered, you know it's got to be good. If you're looking for information about: words, weather, time, geography, government, health, economy, law, the census, almost ANYTHING... Basically, if you have a question you need answered and you don't have Jerome's phone number, go to this site and it will tell you where you can find the answer on the internet.
  
  
• FORTUNE SMILES ON JAMES McMANUS - This is a reprint of my favorite magazine article ever. James McManus went to play in the World Series of Poker and write about his experience. How'd he do against the best players in the world? Read the article and find out.
  
  
• HYAKUGOJYUUICHI!! - I have no idea what this actually is, but I love it. Just go.
  
  
• THE BEST SHAVING CREAM IN THE WORLD - This stuff is great. Made by the good folks at Weleda (where all products are imbued with nature's properties of beauty, healing, and life), I promise you the smoothest, closest, skin conditioningest shave ever. It comes in a tube like toothpaste, and you can put it on with an old fashioned shaving brush or your fingers.
  
  
• CLOWN FUNERAL - Surreal (but REAL) photographs from the funeral of Ski the Clown. The corpse has a red nose on, mourners wear full clown regalia, and the coffin is covered with flowers and sight gags. Go to this site, CLICK ON "Photo Essays" then CLICK ON "Ski the Clown."
  
  
• HATTEN AR DIN - Not JUST my favorite music video, this may very well be my favorite page on the internet. 'Nuff said. Make sure you watch the whole thing, it truly keeps getting better.
  
  
• HOW WIDE IS YOUR PIPE? - That is to say, how fast is your connection to the internet... REALLY??? Here at 2Wire.com, they have a bandwidth meter that will check and tell you. My cable modem varies from 240 Kbps (not so great) to 860 Kbps (smokin'). I guess it all depends on wht my neighbors downloading at the time.
  
  
• HEAVY.COM - An enormous site filled with outrageous stuff -- film clips, games, and more. Be sure to go to 'contagious' (click on the little hypodermic needle) and then click on 'movies'. You're probably gonna want a fast connection if you plan on spending any quality time here. They have a low bandwidth (thin) option, but I've never checked it out.
  
  
• ENGRISH - In Japan, it is very trendy to have English names for products and English sayings on everything from clothes to shampoo. Many of these lose something in the translation, like Hoxy Toilet Paper which promises, "...a rich and comfortable life with paper." This site has many such examples that I promise will make you laugh out loud.
  
  
• THE ART OF ART FRAHM - What can you say about a man who was obsessed with painting pictures of beautiful women carrying celery while their panties are around their ankles?
  
  
• GREAT FREE GAMES - Okay, you have Shockwave, but do you have Shockmachine? It's a great FREE game player that you can download for FREE, then download great FREE games, and play them offline! I highly recommend Real Pool 3D, an awesome 3D simulation of pool that you could be playing right now for FREE.
  
  
• DISTANT CORNERS - Cool graphics, genuinely interactive media, this is one of the best laid out websites I've ever seen! I've only checked out the high-bandwith version, but there is a slower connection version too. You'll need Shockwave Flash, but you already have that, don't you?
  
  
• VET INFO - A helpful and informative site that has the answers to thousands of pet health and behavior questions.
  
  
• GUESS THE EVIL DICTATOR/SIT-COM CHARACTER - Truly entertaining! Think of any evil dictator or sit-com character, then answer a few yes or no questions, and this website will guess who you are!
  
  
• MAPBLAST - You type in any address in the country... Ten seconds later you have a map. And now you can get detailed driving directions between any two points in the U.S.
  
  
• CHEAP DVD RENTALS - If NetFlix.com doesn't make me finally buy a DVD player, nothing will. This is a great deal. You get to keep up to four DVDs at your house, for AS LONG AS YOU WANT for only $19.95/month. It's a well organized, great site with a great service that many of my friends speak of with nothing less than religious fervor.
  
  
• STINKY MEAT PROJECT - A fascinating and disgusting day by day photo-diary of what happens to a plate of various raw meats left in a neighbor's yard.
  
  
• SOULBATH.COM - What is it? It's like a... Well, it's like... You know those things... Just check it out.
  
  
• THE LAST PAGE OF THE INTERNET - This is where it all ends.
  
  
• BIBLIOFIND - Rare, used, and hard-to-find books, including this one.
  
  
• MILLIONAIRE MANIA - I rarely plug big, corporate, network websites, but the on-line version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" is one of the most fun ways to waste time on the internet to come along in years.
  
  
• McPOKER - This is a client program (visual front end) that communicates over the internet using IRC protocols to a poker server so that Macintosh users can play poker with other real people -- and some not-so-real players. The graphics are minimal, the poker is fun.
  
  
• FIRST INTERNET BACKGAMMON SERVER - At FIBS, you can play backgammon, live, with people from all over the world. It is a fun community of people and a bunch of fine Backgammon players. Download the FIBS "Graphical Interface" (available for Mac, IBM, and UNIX), connect to the FIBS server, and look for me.
  
  
• JUMBALAYA - This is the latest version of the BOGGLE site that was at Stanford. They had to move it and change the name, due to lack of server space and trademark problems... ANYWAY, if you go here, you can play Boggle, er... uh, I mean 'Jumbalaya' in real time with people all over the world.
  
  
• HYPERTEXT WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY - Type in a word, find out what it means.
  
  
• SERIOUS ANAGRAM GENERATOR - At wordsmith.org, they've got an anagram generator that's even more capable than the one at Anagram Fun (but Anagram Fun lets you specify the number of words).
  
  
• ANAGRAM INSANITY! (MAIN SANITARY NAG!) - You type in anything, this page will spit out all possible anagrams. For instance did you know that "Andrew Hill Newman" also spells: "Name drawn when ill"
  
  
• VISUAL THESAURUS - The folks at Plumb Design call this, "...an exploration of sense relationships within the English language. By clicking on words, you follow a thread of meaning, creating a spatial map of linguistic associations." I call it, "a really cool thingy where you pick a word, and it makes all kinds of synonyms spin around in spider-like thing that can be 3-D if you want, and then you pick one of those new words and it becomes more intricate, and I don't know what purpose it all serves, but it's really cool..." An instant all-time favorite.
  
  
• 555-1212 - Need a phone number anywhere in the country? At this site you'll find white pages, yellow pages, even a reverse directory where you type in a phone number, and it will tell you whose phone it is and where they live!!!
  
  
• THE HOLLYWOOD STOCKEXCHANGE - Think of it as a "Rotisserie league" stock market where the "stocks"are upcoming movies and "bonds" are movie stars. They start you off with two million "Hollywood Dollars" So far, I'm up over $1,700,000!!!
  
  
• VIRTUAL PRIME TIME -Have you always thought you could do a better job of programming a TV network than the people who are paid quite handsomely to do so??? Here's your chance. A rotisserie-league type network programming game. My network was in fourth place in my division last time I checked... I suppose it would do better if I programmed stuff other than reruns of crap I've been on...
  
  
• WHAT'S THE ZIP CODE FOR...? - Type in any address, get the zip code. And it won't get disgruntled.
  
  
• LIVE CAMERAS - Take a look at live cameras all across the U.S. There are also cool sites that have lists of live cameras worldwide.
  
  
• THE ORACLE OF BACON - Six degrees of separation, huh? Discover who Lon Chaney and Kevin Bacon have in common!
  
  
• THE VISIBLE HUMAN PROJECT - This is either the COOLEST or the GROSSEST thing I've seen in a long time. Part of the Nat'l Library of Medicine, this site has images of cross sections of... well... a human body. A convicted murderer named Paul Jernigan to be exact, who donated his body to science (no kidding). There's lots of images, an mpeg video "tour" you can download, and if you've got a Java capable browser you can go to THE NPAC VISIBLE HUMAN VIEWER which allows you to view any human "slice" you want by moving crosshairs.
  
  
• FLIGHT STATUS REPORT - Okay, so you just got home after dropping your loved one at the airport. If you want to see where their plane is at any given moment, this site can show you! Just select the name of the Airline and type in the flight number... Voila! You get a cool real-time graphic representation of exactly where the plane is at any given time!
  
  
• eBAY AUCTIONS - Wanna buy an original Josie and the Pussycats lunchbox? Or a piece of antique furniture? Or a computer? Wanna sell your stamp collection? Your Baseball cards? Almost anything? eBay is the place to buy or sell anything even remotely collectible. It's well run, it's easy, it's reliable, and it's fun.
  
  
• COMPUTER VIRUS MYTHS - A page that lists all the computer virus hoaxes going around. If you get as many warnings eMailed to you as I do, you may want to check this informative site out. Now... if hackers invade THIS site... then the fake viruses would be real viruses... and we could never turn our computers on again.
  
  

• HUMAN CAT - He calls himself "Stalking Cat." Dennis Avner has been tattooed, pierced, and surgically enhanced to look as much as possible as a cat. This is a thing to do?
  
  
• BODY MODIFICATION ARTIST - Steve Haworth is the guy who helped turn Dennis Avner into a stalking cat. This is how somebody makes a living?
  
  
• HASIDIC REGGAE! - Just when you thought you couldn't find any decent Hasidic Reggae on the web, along came Matisyahu. This is truly great.
  
  
• MURDER AUCTION - It's like eBay for sociopaths! I don't know why anybody would want to, but if you DID want to buy letters, paintings, and more by the likes of David Berkowitz and John Wayne Gacy - this is the place!
  
  
• ALL-INCLUSIVE VACATION - For the man who has everything except a villa on a Caribbean island filled with prostitutes... A resort on a Caribbean island where EVERYTHING is included in the price.
  
  
• THE SPECIAL FREAK - Some guy named Ron Jones has this website called "The Special Gift" devoted to his attraction to amputee women. Nothin' weird about this guy. No sir...
  
  
• SADO-MASOCHISTIC CLOWN - For a fee, Ouchy the Clown will beat and humiliate you. He's also a D.J. and a Meeting Facilitator. Val Revis sent me this link but she's not telling me how she knew about it. Hmmm...
  
  
• 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL - Going on a long drive? If you need to brush up on the lyrics to everybody's favorite time-wasting tune, you'll find all of the lyrics right here. All of 'em.
  
  
• PORN STAR ACTION FIGURES - Barbie move over! At PlasticFantasy.com you can buy anatomically correct, 7.5" tall, plastic figurines made to look exactly like your favorite porn star (in every way) through the miracle technology of laser scanning. Okay, I gotta ask... who buys these? And what do they do with them?
  
  
• CREATE FARTS - Choose the gas flow density, anal dilation, adjust a few other parameters, then... let 'er rip.
  
  
• CHRISTIANS FOR CANNABIS - "Dude, if you wanna talk major rapture and redemption, take a hit off my crucifix shaped bong."
  
  
• DOLPHIN SEX - Frequently asked questions about dolphins having sex and having sex with dolphins. Thanks to delphinic zoophile Val Revis for sending me this link to her favorite site!
  
  
• RATE MY POO - (Not MY poo) In the great tradition of "Am I Hot or Not?" and "Rate my Rack" comes "Rate my Poo." At this site you'll find pictures of peoples' poo and be asked to rate it on a scale of 1 (not) to 10 (log).
  
  
• MY CAT HATES YOU - Not MY cat, mind you, but this guy's cat hates you. And me. And everybody else.
  
  
• AVIAN FASHIONS - What's the well dressed bird wearing this season? Apparently a lot more than feathers.
  
  
• MOIST TOWELETTES - Further proof that if something exists, somebody collects it.
  
  
• CELEBRITY MORGUE - Pictures of famous corpses. Autopsy photos... open caskets... Yeech. I don't recommend looking at these pictures, but I include the link in case you're morbidly inclined.
  
  
• NAKED NEWS - News, weather, sports, business, and entertainment news read to you by naked women.
  
  
• THUMB SUCKING ADULTS - The ONLY website devoted to adults who still like to suck their thumb.
  
  
• LET'S MOW! - This is the official site of the U.S. Lawn Mower Racing Association. The Straight Story meets Days of Thunder.
  
  
• PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS - A site devoted to two men who do a cabaret show wherein they manipulate their privates into various shapes, objects, and landmarks. Think of it as genital origami, if you will. If you won't... who can blame you.
  
  
• BRITNEY SPEARS GUIDE TO SEMICONUDUCTOR PHYSICS - It is a little known fact that Ms. Spears is an expert in semiconductor physics. At this informative website, she will guide you in the fundamentals of the vital laser components that have made it possible to hear her music in a digital format.
  
  
• I DARE YOU! - What will people do for money??? Here's a website devoted to how low people will go. Check out films of people bathing in live bugs, drinking too much milk, having pigeons peck their bodies, and more!
  
  
• EMPTY BOWL - A website devoted to serving the cereal eating community. You'll find reviews, feature articles, and general discussions about what they consider to be the greatest breakfast product on the face of the earth: cereal.
  
  
• FIRE HYDRANTS - Everything you'd ever need to know, hydrant-wise.
  
  
• RUSSIAN AMPUTEE WOMEN - A dating service. In their own words, "Really, why not to love a disabled woman, help her to be sure in many aspects of life, love her and be a devoted friend and assistant? It's not her head disabled and it means that everything might be changed and corrected. It's terrible when a person has problems with his head, actions, behaviour and thoughts. It's a real problem. But all these women are smart and think fine. All of them have a kind heart and a strong wish to love and be loved."
  
  
• UGLY COUCHES - See the top 10 ugliest couches in America. What more do you need to know???
  
  
• I CAN EAT GLASS - The concept of the "I Can Eat Glass" Project is simple-- to compile a list of ways to say the phrase "I can eat glass, it doesn't hurt me" in various languages. Pretty easy, eh?
  
  
• PYLON OF THE MONTH - This site is dedicated to the "humble electricity pylon, whose beauty remains tragically unrecognised. Railed against by misguided environmentalists, these delightful constructions enhance and beautify their surroundings, providing a comforting reminder of Man's harnessing of the forces of nature." ...It's a bunch of pictures of big telephone poles.
  
  
• PEE STANDING UP - A woman's guide to peeing standing up. With links to the restrooms of the future.
  
  
• NORI: NASAL PASSAGE CLEANER - Whether you're looking for a natural and powerful way to help fight against colds, chronic headaches, earaches and insomnia; or you just want to see a website with pictures of people pouring water up one nostril and shooting it out the other... this is the site for you!!!
  
  
• MORMON MASTURBATION PREVENTION - Here's some advice from the Chuch of Latter Day Saints on how to resist that overwhelming attraction to... yourself.
  
  
• PLACENTAS - If the question, "What can I do with this placenta?" has been gnawing at you, here are many different answers to choose from. From freezing to burying, placenta prints to membrane art, this site, brought to you by the Virtual Birth Center, is chock-full of placenta-centric projects.
  
  
• DEAD MAN EATING - FINAL MEALS - A prisoner by prisoner list of what death row inmates ate for their last meal on this earth. Some of the tasty choices include: One flour tortilla and water, Two boxes of frosted flakes and a pint of milk, and the "who-cares-about-cholesterol-now? special" - 2 dozen scrambled eggs, flour tortillas, french fries and catsup.
  
  
• CRACK AFFICIANADO ONLINE - "Your home for crack on the web." An upscale magazine for the connoisseur of crack cocaine. THE MANAGEMENT OF MESHUGENA.NET IN NO WAY SUPPORTS OR CONDONES CRACK OR ANY OTHER ILLEGAL DRUG USE. THIS SITE IS A PARODY AND A SATIRE AND IS INCLUDED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
  
  
• VIRTUAL BUBBLE WRAP - Point, click, pop! The website version of the classic tension reliever. I'll probably never visit this site again, but it m delights me to know that it exists. Warning: Bubble wrap may be habit forming.
  
  
• DOG DOO.COM - The purveyors of this site claim, "Revenge is sweet. Especially when harmless and yet SO SATISFYING... We will pack and send a heaping pile of doo to the person you deem worthy!" You can choose from the Econo-Poop (20 lb. Dog), The Poo Poo Special (50 lb. Dog), or the Poo Poo Grande (110 lb. Dog).
  
  
• MUSEUM OF TOILETS - The Sulabh International Museum of Toilets DOES have a website!!! "...Dr. Bindeshwar Pathak envisioned the need for the setting up of a museum of toilets in New Delhi, India. The idea engaged his mind for long, eventually leading him to make hectic worldwide search for minutest details of the evolution of toilets, as also of various toilet designs used in different countries at different points of time."
  
  
• KID'S VACUUM CLEANER CORNER - Fun and informational pages about vacuum cleaners! Including: Vacuum Cleaner comics, pictures to color, and more! Don't worry, they promise that all the information on the site is suitable for kids. Does that mean they have a whole vacuum cleaner site that doesn't use the word "suck?"
  
  
• CORPSES FOR SALE - Just what you were looking for, right? You can specify hair color, skin color, and degree of decomposition. Or you can just buy a manual that teaches you how to make your own corpse!
  
  
• eMOIL.COM - File this under "Now I've seen everything." He performs brisses and he has a website. What? He shouldn't have a website?
  
  
• THE BUTT PAGE - Rectal Foreign Bodies. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction. This is a website devoted to documented medical accounts of people who have felt the need to insert extraordinary things in their nether orafice.
  
  
• HOW TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH - And you didn't think there was anything useful on the internet... tsk,tsk...
  
  
• THE DEAD MUSICIANS DIRECTORY - An exhaustive database of dearly departed musicians, searchable many different ways, including by cause of death. It does NOT include a listing for that chubby kid who played the Triangle in your high school band who, according to everyone at the tenth reunion, was killed by watching a sped up videotape of the episode of "Joanie Loves Chachi" where Chachi almost cheats on Joanie but then realizes he loves her more than the hot supermodel.
  
  
• FIND A GRAVE - This guy collects photos of, and dirt from, famous people's graves. I've also found one of the internet's Virtual Graveyards, where you can 'bury' anyone you have a beef with.
  
  
• FURBY AUTOPSY - Apparently Christmas shopping got to Quincy or somebody very much like him as this site is devoted to an autopsy performed on one of the furry plagiarized little creatures. Warning: you will see graphic photos of the inside of one of the beasts.
  
  
• CRIME SCENE CLEANERS - File this under "only in Southern California." Got a messy murder scene? They're available 24 hours to scrub away any evidence of foul play.
  
  
• TOILETOLOGY 101 - Definitive proof that if you've ever wondered about something, it's on the web. Here's a site that will teach you how your toilet works!
  
  
• PAVEMENT TERROR - "A very unusual photographic exhibition" is what Howard Stone calls his unique site. If you drove a van that you could make backfire on cue, wouldn't you mount a camera on the back and catch people's reactions to the 'BANG' and then put the pictures on the internet???
  
  
• CELEBRITY WILLS - Thank God this is on the internet. This is where to go to find out who left what to who.
  
  
• DRIVEWAYS OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS - If, like me, you've always fantasized about Nic Cage's driveway, this is where you can see a picture of it in living color! Britt Ekland, Heidi Fleiss, James Caan... they ALL have driveways too!
  
  
• JOSEPH'S INNOCENT INANIMATE OBJECTS - Just when you thought there wasn't a website devoted to blasting away at innocent objects with different firearms, along comes Joseph. Bananas, coconuts, bottles of soda, you name it, he shoots 'em and records the results for posterity.
  
  
• FUN WITH GRAPES - What more do you need to know?
  
  

• SUPER MARIO GALAXY - If you own a Wii, don't even waste time reading the rest of this or clicking on the link. Just run to a store and buy yourself a copy of one of the greatest traditional 'run and jump' video games ever made. It is FANTASTIC!
  
  
• THE STORY OF STUFF - A 20 minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of production and consumption patterns.
  
  
• SCIENTISTS LOCATE SARCASM BRAIN AREA - Really. It's inbetween the knock-knock joke portion of the cerebellum and the pun nodes.
  
  
• YOU VS. THE CHIMP - Think you're smarter than a chimp? Think again.
  
  
• RICH EISEN'S BOOK - Rich Eisen is a very smart and funny guy, an excellent poker player, and he knows a thing or two about NFL football. His book is a great, entertaining, informative read.
  
  
• FREE RICE - Improve your vocabulary while feeding the hungry. Win-win!
  
  
• CREATIVE URINALS - Clark Sorenson is a San Francisco artist, best known for his urinal sculptures. If you're looking for a $7,500 urinal that looks like a flower - he is the go-to guy.
  
  
• iPHONE SHUFFLE - A funny and possibly prescient mock ad for the next generation of iPhone.
  
  
• BIZZARE ANIMATED VIDEO - It's somewhere between Benny Hill andThe Electric Kool Aid Acid Test.
  
  
• TEFLON TURTLE LOVE - Amorous turtle + teflon wok = funny
  
  
• VACUUM CLEANER EXPERT - He's 12 years old and he's got one of the most extensive collection of vacuum cleaners you've ever seen!
  
  
• THE SMARTEST TABLE SAW YOU EVER... SAW - Go to this site and then click on "hot dog demo" to see a very cool table saw that won't cut your finger off.
  
  
• 10 YR. OLD GUITAR GURU - When I was ten years old, I didn't know how to listen to music like this, much less play it. He's been playing since he was three.
  
  
• CHOW HOUND MESSAGE BOARDS - "For those who live to eat." A great message board/website for restaurant tips, recipes, food questions, etc...
  
  
• NURIKABE - My new addiction. Nurikabe is a great logic puzzle that involves darkening squares on a grid. Finally, something to keep me from doing Sudoku 24/7.
  
  
• TUBEZOOM - MOVIES ONLINE - Movies. On line. Free. This can't be legal and it can't last long. According to their little legal disclaimer: "TubeZoom does not host show episode or movie video files. Current hosts include DailyMotion, Veoh, MySpace, Google, Bolt, and YouTube. Tubezoom and its authors and owners are not responsible for any content linked to or referred to in this site." Sure, that'll hold up in court.
  
  
• SIMPLIFY YOUR PHONES - What if, when people called your phone number, it rang your home phone, cell phone, AND office phone and then you picked up whichever one you happened to be closest to? And what if you wanted to screen that call? And what if you decided to let that call go to voice mail? And what if you wanted your voice mail eMailed to you? And what if you wanted your phone to make you dinner, serve it to you and then wash the dishes? According to the folks at Grand Central, it's all possible and it's all free! Okay, not the dinner part but all that other stuff, for sure. How long will it stay free? I don't know. I may wait for them to get out of Beta before I sign up, but it does sound like a pretty sweet service.
  
  
• HOW MANY OF YOU? - Find out how many people in the U.S. have the same name as you. According to this site, there are 292 Andrew Newmans. But there are only 27 Andy Newmans. How accurate is this? Kinda. (at best) According to this site, there are 0 people in the U.S. named Ajay Sahgal. Wait until I tell my friend Ajay. (assuming that IS his real name...)
  
  
• BEER LAUNCHING FRIDGE - Who says we're a nation of lazy alcoholics?
  
  
• FACERCISE - Make funny faces and avoid a trip to the plastic surgeon. Ow! Ow.... cheek cramp... cheek cramp... Shoulda stretched first...
  
  
• ONLINE ETYMOLOGY DICTIONARY - If you're as fascinated by word origins as I am, you'll enjoy this fine etymological resource put together by author, journalist, historian, and lecturer Doug Harper.
  
  
• MONOFACE - Unexpectedly addictive! This was created as a Happy New Year card of sorts for a branding/marketing/advertising/I'm-not-sure-what-they-do company. It is a composite picture of their employees that changes each component of the face each time you click on it. I know, I know, sounds like not much. Try it. You'll keep doing it for much longer than you expected. Thanks to meshugena.net regular, Val Revis for sticking this particular needle in our arm.
  
  
• A CUPPA JOE - ...and speaking of Val Revis, please enjoy her website, "A Cuppa Joe," where you'll find films, blogs, and maybe even a cuppa joe.
  
  
• FISH AND FLUSH - Val Revis was among the many meshugena.net patrons who sent in this link to the fabulous "Fish 'n' Flush." Is it a toilet? Is it a fish tank? It's both!
  
  
• THE POKER STORE - Recently relocated to lovely Westminster, The Poker Store seems to be the closest retail outlet to L.A.where you can buy anything and everything you'd need for a serious poker game.
  
  
• THE BURN LOUNGE - iTunes + MySpace + Pyramid Scheme = Huge Profits for somebody, I'm sure. I don't much about this whole Burn Lounge deal, but apparently you can make a list of the music you like and then people can buy it and you get a piece if they do. If any of you know more about Burn Lounge, good or bad, please let me know.
  
  
• HISTORICAL CHEATING - An article about strange inventions used by crooked gamblers.
  
  
• REALLY COOL OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - Greg Greenberg, an extremely talented writer and Scrabble player, was kind enough to send us this great compendium of all sorts of optical illusions put together by the good folks at eChalk - a British company that provides resources for teachers with interactive whiteboards and data projectors.
  
  
• POLLEN COUNTS - Somewhere around Labor Day, my allergies get bad for 4 to 8 weeks. How about you? Check out pollen levels anywhere in the U.S. at Pollen.com. It won't make your eyes itch any less, but it's got a map you can click on.
  
  
• MR. T ON MOTHERHOOD - According to this music video by Mr. T, it's okay to insult people's weight and looks, but don't you dare talk about their mother!
  
  
• ANOTHER FUNNY YOU TUBE VIDEO - Jeremy Rowley is a very funny actor. Check out his "perfect dating video."
  
  
• INCREDIBLE SCRABBLE MOVE - Think it's impossible to score 1,962 points in just one Scrabble turn? You just need a board that lets you play your rack of BCHRSYZ to form BENZOXYCAMPHORS and JINNYRICKSHAWS. Someone spent alot of hours figuring this out. The least we can do is take a look at it.
  
  
• KICKED IN THE NUTS - You won't believe how funny it is to watch people get kicked in the nuts. It's even funnier to see them laugh it off once they realize they're on camera. Click on any of the episode links and enjoy!
  
  
• LOS ANGELES GAS PRICES - If you live in the L.A. area, click on your neighborhood and find the best prices near you. If you don't live in the area, take a look at our gas prices and then feel better about what you're paying!
  
  
• CLOTHING TO COOL YOU OFF - Just in time for Fall! I was working outside in 114 degree heat a couple weeks ago, and someone on the crew had on one of these (literally) cool vests. They also make cooling apparel for dogs and horses.
  
  
• FREE ON-LINE CLASSICAL LITERATURE - The Eldritch Press maintains a site dedicated to the Public Domain. Here you will find links to the full text of classics from American and European literature. Nathaniel Hawthorne, Ring Lardner, Ivan Turgenev, Maeterlinck, Maupassant, and much much more!
  
  
• SKIDBOOT - If you don't like dogs, don't watch this clip about the smartest, most amazing pooch you've ever seen. If you do like dogs, enjoy. Sure it's a little cutesy and has too much sappy underscoring, but the dog is truly amazing. Incidentally, "Skidboot" was my nickname in college.
  
  
• CATS THAT LOOK LIKE HITLER - What more do you need to know?
  
  
• PARK THE PEUGEOT - A frustratingly fun little time waster of a game.
  
  
• HOW TO FOLD A SHIRT - FInally, somebody has created a website to help mankind with this age-old challenge.
  
  
• OVERHEARD IN NEW YORK - Snippets of conversation actually overheard on the streets, busses, and subways of New York City. Makes me kinda homesick for piles of trash and the stench of urine...
  
  
• MONK-E-MAIL - A custom spoken message out of the mouth of a chimp... Sound too good to be true? Believe it! You can get these simians to say whatever you want to whoever you want - in their voice or in your own! I promise you will waste at least a half an hour or more sending ridiculous messages to your friends with this site. And then do it again tomorrow.
  
  
• TAGGING AIR FORCE ONE - Graffiti artist Mark Ecko spray painted "still free" on Air Force One. Now THAT'S freedom of expression.
  
  
• eMAIL TEXT MESSAGES TO CELL PHONES - Teleflip lets you eMail a text message from your computer to any cell phone.
  
  
• INDIEPRODUCER - IndieProducer was founded in 2001 by the very talented and extremely delightful Kerry David to discover and support new and emerging talent in film. She was joined in this effort by the equally talented and delightful Jon Gunn and they have built IP into a strong and helpful community that provides networking opportunities, mentoring programs, and more.
  
  
• SHORT STORY - My friend Ken Pisani got a short story of his published in this eZine. Enjoy!
  
  
• CUSTOM PC PAINT JOBS - Smooth Creations creates awesome custom paint jobs for your laptop, desktop, peripherals... Hell, I think these guys will paint almost anything. For a more cost effective customization, check out these laptop covers from Skyn.
  
  
• HOW MUCH SHOULD YOU BE PAID? - Are you changing jobs? Salary.com can generate salary quotes and reports based on factors like: your education, your experience, size of company, location, and more. Why not go into your next salary negotiation armed with as much information as possible?
  
  
• NATIONAL SEX OFFENDERS REGISTRY - Who is that weird guy living down the block? This site allows you to enter your address and generate a map of your neighborhood marked with the residences of all registered sex offenders. Click on one of the marks and see the name, mugshot, address, and which crime they were convicted of. I live within half a mile of two rapists and one cretin who performed lewd acts with a minor under 14. ...and this is a pretty nice neighborhood.
  
  
• PEET'S COFFEE - A great cup of coffeee and a great place to buy your beans. These days, I make my espresso from a 50/50 blend of Espresso Forte and Arabian Mocha Sanani. You can also send somebody a cup of coffee over the internet with their eCup feature.
  
  
• CARIBOU COFFEE - Consumer Reports recently rated Caribou's 100% Colombian as the best tasting coffee they tested (of caffeinated varieties). I've ordered some, and I'll be sure to let you know how it measures up to the high standards we hold here at meshugena.net.
  
  
• RESTAURANT RESERVATIONS - At OpenTable.com you can get info and make reservations for restarants in over twenty different major metropolitan areas. My injun friend, Ajay, was able to get us a reservation at the ever popular (and delicious) Jar just three hours before we ate.
  
  
• VOICE MAIL SHORTCUTS - Don't you hate those endless voice mail customer support menus? Don't you wish you knew which series of numbers to hit to get to human being? Paul English has put together a very informative list of shortcuts for almost 200 different often-called companies and government agencies.
  
  
• SELF-POWERED FLASHLIGHTS - These are the flashlights that Duracell doesn't want you to know about. Very clever flashlights that generate their own electricity - no plugs, no batteries, just good old fashioned science!
  
  
• THE MELLOMAN - The very resourceful Mike Walters has built The Melloman - his interpretation of the Mellotron, the first "sample player" from the 1960s (used by the Beatles and other psychedelic bands). He built it out of 14 Walkmans. Check out the Melloman's version of the opening of Strawberry Fields Forever.
  
  
• PHOTO STAMPS - Real postage with your pictures on it. They cost more than stamps from the post office, but when you realize you get to see yourself on a stamp without having to be great at something - it's not all that expensive. Non-Macintosh users, use this site (or get a Mac).
  
  
• CUSTOM MADE WOODEN JIGSAW PUZZLES - These would make a great Christmas present but I'm guessing we're too late to order one for this year.
  
  
• DONOR SIBLING REGISTRY - A database that helps unite children of sperm donors with their genetic brothers, sisters, and donor parents.
  
  
• SKYPE - CALL FOR FREE - Skype is software that uses the internet to allow you to call anyone, anywhere around the world, for free (provided they also have Skype, a computer, and an internet connection. They also have a deal where you can use Skype to call anyone anywhere around the world on a normal phone for the price of a local call.
  
  
• MAC SUDOKU - Are you as addicted to solving Sudoku as I am? Are you a Mac user like me? Then you want this very reasonably priced ($9.99) little Sudoku application that generates puzzles, times your solutions, saves your stats... iteven allows you to type in the puzzle from the daily paper that you perhaps tore from excessive erasure.
  
  
• IMPACT EFFECTS - Ever wonder just how much damage a certain sized meteor (or other object) travelling at a certain speed and at at a certain angle would have on the earth? Or how far away from the impact you'd have to be to avoid disaster? The good folks at the University of Arizona Department of Planetary Sciences have put together this extremely helpful website.
  
  
• SKEPTIC'S BIBLE - The Bible sure says a lot of wacky stuff. For instance, check out Leviticus for God's views on gays and specific instructions for animal and human sacrifice.
  
  
• COBB WINES - This is one of the tastiest wines I've ever sipped. It's hard to find and not cheap when you do but trust me, it's worth it.
  
  
• BUSH IN FREEFALL - This is like that weird thing from a few weeks ago with the woman in freefall, but this time it's George W doing the ragdoll tumbling. You can click and drag him to change his path as he plummets.
  
  
• BRENT'S - The best deli in Southern California. Period.
  
  
• PICTURE FRAMES - Online, do-it-yourself picture framing. Fast, cheap, and easy - much like my reputation in High School.
  
  
• HOLLYWOOD POKER - Hollywood Poker is a wonderful (Mac friendly) online poker emporium where you can play poker with the likes of Josh Malina, Lenny Dykstra, James Woods, and yes... Andrew Hill Newman.
  
  
• K&K GOSPEL MIME - Gospel plus mime equals K&K.
  
  
• CERAMIC PAPER CUPS - More permanent versions of the to-go coffee cups you get in every Greek Diner in New York City.
  
  
• 2005 NATIONAL SCRABBLE CHAMPIONSHIPS - Stefan Fatsis wrote some nice coverage from the championships this year. The National Scrabble Association also has a site where you can play along with many Division 1 Games - including the five final games.
  
  
• HASIDIC REGGAE! - Just when you thought you couldn't find any decent Hasidic Reggae on the web, along came Matisyahu. This is truly great.
  
  
• MURDER AUCTION - It's like eBay for sociopaths! I don't know why anybody would want to, but if you DID want to buy letters, paintings, and more by the likes of David Berkowitz and John Wayne Gacy - this is the place!
  
  
• THE ARISTOCRATS - No nudity. No violence. Unspeakable obscenity. Now that this documentary about comedians and comedy is finally in (a limited amount of) theatres, all I can say is... GO SEE IT!
  
  
• PENCILS - Ahhh, pencils. They write upside-down, in zero gravity, and under water! ANYTHING you need to know about pencils can be found at this informative site.
  
  
• SUDOKU - These number-logic puzzles are apparently all the rage in Japan (where their written language isn't all that well suited to crossword puzzles). Me? I still favor the New York Times Crossword, but now that the L.A. Times has started carrying these I occasionally indulge.
  
  
• POKER DVD - The first DVD in the "Expert Insight" series is a winner. This is, without a doubt, the most informative and best produced instructional DVD for No Limit Hold 'em on the market.
  
  
• THE ART OF HEATHER DODGE - Besides being sweet, beautiful, and knowing how to make a very tasty espresso, Heather Dodge is also quite a talented artist.
  
  
• CRYING WHILE EATING - Why is it so funny to watch people weep and eat at the same time? I don't know, but I defy you to watch some of these clips without laughing.
  
  
• NATIONAL PUZZLER'S LEAGUE - If you're a puzzler, maybe you should join the ranks of this foremost national puzzling organization. Let's be clear, though. This is NOT the group for you if you're a riddler.
  
  
• HATS OF MEAT - This site has recently returned to the web after a brief hiatus. Even though it was created by a man named "Bean," don't be deceived. These hats are ALL MEAT!
  
  
• HELEN SLATER - Besides being the "Girl of Steel" and a great running charades player, Helen is a VERY talented singer-songwriter whose songs I have had the extreme pleasure of hearing her sing. Her latest album is called "Crossword."
  
  
• FLICKR - DIGITAL PHOTO SERVICES - Flickr clames it is the best way to store, search, sort, and share digital photos. It's certainly better than the big messy drawer in which I have all those snapshots with the curling corners.
  
  
• TOURNEY.COM - The fantastically talented Di Anni brothers have put together a great site that, among other things, tracks tournament poker world rankings. You'll also find tournament schedules, poker forums, player bios, and tons and tons of free porn! Okay, there's no free porn, but this really is a great site.
  
  
• PETER LUGER'S - This historic steakhouse in Brooklyn serves, quite simply, the best Porterhouse Steak on the planet. Thanks to Joe and Damon, I finally got the chance to experience it.
  
  
• SWIMMING POOL TREADMILL - I saw an annoying pop-up ad for this and it seemed like a great idea. Do you want to swim laps but only have enough room for a Jacuzzi? If any of you actually have one of these or have been in one of these, please eMail me and tell me if it really works.
  
  
• VIRTUAL PHOTO SAFARI - FantasyHunt.com lets you "hunt" wildlife all over the world and "shoot" them (with cameras). This is NOT the site for the guy who let you shoot them with actual guns. He's been arrested and that site is no longer up. Thank god.
  
  
• A VERY DRUNK PAT O'BRIEN - Have a listen to some of the drunken sexual babbling that eventually sent the host of "The Insider" into rehab.
  
  
• HOW FAST IS YOUR CONNECTION... REALLY? - The good folks at Broadband Reports have a java applet on their website that will run an accurate test of your upload and download speeds.
  
  
• (NOT) JUST ANOTHER RESTAURANT - JAR serves upscale comfort food at it's finest - done perfectly by chef Suzanne Tracht. JAR stands for "just another restaurant, but the food tastes like you're someplace special... This one of my new favorite spots in L.A.
  
  
• SERPENT GIRL - A GREAT new book by my friend Matthew Carnahan. Elmore Leonard said, "Carnahan can write. He mixes real freaks with freaky West Coast dopers, gets them talking, threatening each other - and it works. I didn't notice any wasted words." And if that's not enough, Mike Myers said, "Smart, sexy, and laugh-out-loud funny. It's the coolest book I've read in years, and in my Top Five of All Time." Read it now before it becomes a really cool movie.
  
  
• POD A PIC! - Haven't you always wanted to be in one of those cool iPod ads? Here's your chance. I already did it!
  
  
• HUMAN AD SPACE - And speaking of ads you want to be in... Or ads you want to be. Check out this guy who rents out his forehead!
  
  
• POKERWIRE.COM - Current poker tournament results from all over the place. And I mean, CURRENT.
  
  
• ANSWERS TO WHATEVER'S PLAGUING YOU - Ask the mystical smoking head of Bob a question, and you'll get a Magic 8 Ball-type answer... with absolutely no copyright infringements!
  
  
• 251 CLUB - The 251 Club is an organization whose members attempt to visit every town in the state of Vermont. Some members have nice pictures of their travels. Me? I've been in about 50 of them. (towns, not members)
  
  
• THE NUMBERS - Out here in Hollyweird, it's all about the numbers. This site is filled with Box Office Data, Movie Star Info, and Idle Speculation. In a word... gross! Sorry.
  
  
• REBOUNDOLOGY - In a concerted effort to get back into shape, I am now "rebounding" for at least 45 minutes a day. It's about as fun as anything that's this good for you has the hopes of being.
  
  
• SARA RAMIREZ - You heard it here first. Now that Spamalot is in previews on Broadway, there is no stopping this formidable talent. She's beautiful, very funny, and has pipes like there's no tomorrow.
  
  
• SHUFFLE UP AND DEAL! - Why not hire Celebrity Poker Showdown's own Robert Thompson to run a poker tournament for your next corporate event, charity fundraiser, or private party?
  
  
• STRAIGHT BOURBON - I'll be honest with you, I don't drink a lot. When I do drink, I drink bourbon. Here's a 100% bourbon oriented website. Got a question about bourbon? Find an answer here.
  
  
• GREAT WINE - Like I said, I don't drink all that much. If I am drinking, and I'm not drinking bourbon, I'm probably having a nice glass of red wine. This winery, Kazmer & Blaise, only produces a very small amount of wine each year. What I've tasted of it - a Pinot Noir - is excellent.
  
  
• THE DIRTIEST CHILDREN'S TV SHOW EVER - Although this purports to be an actual episode of this British children's show from the 1970's, other sources say this not-so-subtle, double-entendre-laden scene was made for an in-house joke for a Christmas party. Whatever... here it is.
  
  
• GEORGE BUSH SPEAKS - Try not to laugh as the leader of the free world tries to explain tribal sovereignty.
  
  
• THE ARISTOCRATS - SOUTH PARK STYLE - Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette have made an amazing, thought provoking documentary called "The Aristocrats" that was the toast of this year's Sundance Film Festival. They explore the background and history of a joke called "The Aristocrats" - a joke so foul, disgusting, and offensive that it is rarely told in public but has been shared among comedians since the days of vaudeville. Their film shows over a hundred comedians (including: Jon Stewart, Phyllis Diller, Whoopi Goldberg, Chris Rock, and Drew Carey to name a few...) telling their version of this joke and discussing just why comedians have kept this improvisation on a foul theme alive - and what that says about comedy and comedians. I am fortunate enough to have seen it and it is brilliant. Not since Lenny Bruce has something been so scatological and so profound at the same time. This link is to a clip of the characters from South Park telling this joke. Know that you have been FULLY WARNED that this joke contains language and imagery that you are certain to find objectionable. This link is not for children or the prudish. But let me ask you this, if you're a child or a prude, what the hell are you doing here?!
  
  
• BARNEY MEETS TUPAC - As long as clips with objectionable language are the theme... check out big cuddly purple Barney as a gangsta rapper.
  
  
• TSUNAMI VIDEOS - Different home movies taken as the devastating Tsunami rolled in.
  
  
• 'FESS UP! - Do you have a deep dark secret you need to get off your chest? Do you want to read other people's anonymous confessions? At ComeClean.com you can do both! (Special thanks to Dr. Atsuko Polzin, research biologist and meshugena.net contest winner, for letting us know about this load-lightening link)
  
  
• SPAMALOT - This musical, lovingly ripped off from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," is about to take Broadway by storm. And it has a REALLY cool website!
  
  
• POGO STICK ON STEROIDS - The "flybar" is a super-charged pogo stick driven by huge elastic bands. The "elastometric" spring system can send a 200 lb. rider over five feet in the air!
  
  
• LLAMA LOCATER - Looking to buy a llama?
  
  
• SNL TRANSCRIPTS - Transcripts of sketches, monologues, and more from Saturday Night Live (from 1975 to the present!). Not only do they have the Celebrity Poker Showdown parody, you can also find the words from this little beauty (vintage 1997).
  
  
• DISPOSABLE UNDERWEAR - If you're traveling somewhere there isn't a fluff 'n' fold, a dry cleaner, or a washing machine maybe you should just pack a few pairs of "onederwear!"
  
  
• CRAZY UNICYCLING - Just riding one is a little tricky - doing these tricks is downright impossible!
  
  
• POP GADGETS FOR WOMEN - Gadgets, culture, and general neophilia... for and by women.
  
  
• TURN YOUR CELL PHONE INTO A SEX TOY - ...and speaking of gadgets for and by women, the "VibraExciter" lets you turn any call or text message into phone sex.
  
  
• BLINDFOLDED PIANIST - Sure, we all would like to be able to play the theme(s) from Super Mario Brothers on the piano while blindfolded. Well, this is a website all about the dedicated, talented young man who actually can. Read his journal here, and see him play "Imagine" on a piano behind his back (it's pretty fucking impressive) here.
  
  
• SUPER MARIO SHEET MUSIC - If you would like to try to teach yourself to play the theme(s) from Super Mario Brothers on the piano (with or without a blindfold) you may find the sheet music here.
  
  
• EYE IN THE SKY - "Keyhole" is a subscription service that lets you access satellite photographs. As big an area as a country or as tiny as a single house, you can see it from above -- just the way many evil governments do!
  
  
• JEWISH HEY-YA PARODY - In case you weren't sick enough of this song in it's original incarnation, here's a Jewish-themed parody, just in time for Chanukah!
  
  
• ALL-INCLUSIVE VACATION - For the man who has everything except a villa on a Caribbean island filled with prostitutes... A resort on a Caribbean island where EVERYTHING is included in the price.
  
  
• HULA HOOPER EXTRAORDINAIRE - Paul "Dizzy Hips" Blair is a multiple world record holding hula hooper - and his sister lives in my neighborhood!!! Check out the videos of him doing some fairly unbelievable things with MANY hula hoops on his website.
  
  
• MORSE CODE -

  - .... . ..-. ..- .-.. .-.. -- --- .-. ... . -.-. --- -.. . .- .-.. .--. .... .- -... . -

  
  
  
• IG NOBEL PRIZES -Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded to people who do something that first make people laugh, then make people think. For instance, one was awarded this year to the gentlemen who published a study entitled The Effect of Country Music on Suicide.
  
  
• JIM'S BIG EGO - A very cool band out of Massachussetts with an even cooler website. Lyricist Jim Infantino is witty to say the least.
  
  
• COOL POKER T-SHIRTS - The fine folks at Slowplaying.com have made some fun poker T-Shirts with retro graphics ("Daddy went all-in last night"). Yes, yes, they also sell a shirt that says "Celebrity Poker Showdown Sucks" but I figure if something is big enough for people to try to profit off the backlash then it MUST be popular. Besides, that doesn't mean it won't last. After all, people used to say that Disco Sucks and it's still... Oh. Wait a second... (They really do have cool shirts, I own and wear a couple of them)
  
  
• HUNGRY GIRL - "Tips and tricks for hungry chicks." My friend Lisa put together this very cool site filled with guilt free snacking suggestions.
  
  
• TECH SUPPORT - Ever call your internet provider or computer manufacturer for tech support and get somebody in India? The guy who made this animated flash movie did.
  
  
• BACK FLIP (ALMOST) -It's sadly funny when this young martial arts aficianado doesn't complete his back flip. It gets even funnier as he tries to continue his nunchucka routine before he fully recovers.
  
  
• WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BUSH? - A coloring book that 'celebrates' the administration of our current president... what's-his-name. Meshugena.net urges everyone to vote and supports your right to vote for whoever you damn well please (but if you want to get on our good side you'll help defeat what's-his-name).
  
  
• BOW MAN - Special thanks to Ajay Sahgal for letting us know about this simple, great, ADDICTIVE, little on-line game where you get shoot arrows.
  
  
• WAVE PILLOW - That's right surfers, FINALLY there's a pillow that's hooked up to your computer that will wake you up when the waves are totally bitchin', or sick, or gnarly, or whatever you kids are calling it these days.
  
  
• BLANTON'S BOURBON - I know you know I like the whiskeys from Kentucky... Well this stuff ain't cheap, but it is smooooooooooooooooth.
  
  
• ARJ BARKER - Is a very funny young man of Indian descent who is about to star in a TV show about a young man of Indian descent that was created by my friend Ajay who is a young man of Indian descent.
  
  
• ANNIE DUKE - She's smart, she's cute and, even though I felted her with A,J against her K,K the other night, she is one of the best poker players on the planet.
  
  
• THE CHOSEN SALSA - My friend Dan had a big Salsa tasting extravaganza where, believe it or not, a brand by the name of Goldwater's was unanimously chosen as the best Salsa ever... that comes in a jar.
  
  
• THROW VIRTUAL PAPER IN WASTEBASKET - How bored are you?
  
  
• VENTANA - An upscale place to relax and rejuvenate. It's gorgeous, it's quiet, and it's nestled into one of the most beautiful spots on earth.
  
  
• PAPER SUN PRODUCTIONS - Stacy Winchell has a media company, a sister, and a website with a link to meshugena.net. Scotty watty doo-doo!
  
  
• THE BEST SANDWICH IN PITTSBURGH - ...and quite possibly the best sandwich on earth. I sat next to a woman from Pittsburgh on the plane the other day and it got me remembering the last time I was lucky enough to eat one of these. I may have to plan a trip to Pittsburgh in the near future...
  
  
• CHARLIE BUCKET, CEO - What really happened when Willie Wonka handed over the chocolate factory?
  
  
• PROGRAMMER OR KILLER? - Fun game where you have to differentiate between geniuses who invented computer languages and serial killers.
  
  
• TIMER - "Fob" is a great little timer application. Need to be reminded when your TV dinner, laundry, or three minute egg is done but you need to be in front of your computer?
  
  
• ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF SUPERMAN - The ultimate reference work about the man of steel.
  
  
• UPGRADE YOR DVR - If you don't have a digital TV recording device like Replay TV or Tivo, then you're still suffering through commercials and you have twenty videocassettes lying around that each have one episode of Survivor on them. Assuming you DO own this fantastic technology, check out this site - weaknees.com - for low cost solutions to upgrading your unit so it has hundreds of hours of recording time. And yes, they have them for both Tivo and Replay TV.
  
  
• H&H BAGELS - If you've never had an H&H bagel then, I'm sorry, but you are honestly unaware of just how good a bagel can be. Their slogan does not lie: "Like no other bagel in the world."
  
  
• SOUTH CARTHAY - It's a beautiful day in my neghborhood.
  
  
• MR. PICASSOHEAD - Do it yourself Picasso. Explore your inner plagiarist- I mean, artist.
  
  
• STOP #@$!&*#! SWEARING! - This is a fucking great site about how all of us goddamn assholes can get our shit together and resist using lame-ass cuss words so we can stop being the mother-fucking cock-sucking bastard losers that we are. I'm all fucking for it!
  
  
• SUBSERVIENT CHICKEN - A guy stands there in a chicken costume. You tell him what to do, he does it. It's as simple as that.
  
  
• THE 10 WORST ALBUM COVERS OF ALL TIME - Back in my day, music came on big vinyl things called "record albums." This site pays homage to some of the worst album cover art of all time. (I owned one of these albums - can you guess which one?)
  
  
• THE INTERACTIVE FLY - Drosophila can be quite informative. If you want to be smart about developmental Biology like Atsuko Polzin, PhD, check out this site dedicated to the fruit fly.
  
  
• THE DUCT TAPE GUYS - More things with and about duct tape than you'll ever really want to know.
  
  
• SINGING SH*T - Finally! The singing dancing animated excrement we've all been waiting for.
  
  
• DESPAIR.COM - Demotivational calendars, screensavers, and more!
  
  
• ACME PRODUCTS - Need an anvil? Or a dehydarated boulder? Here you'll find an illustrated list of ALL the ACME products used in cartoondom.
  
  
• ASTRONOMICAL BRAINABETIZER - A place to make neat signs out of naked people, or pieces of brain, or other stuff. Check it out.
  
  
• DO NOT CALL REGISTRY -Unless you like having your dinner interrupted by strangers calling with investment opportunities, slap your phone number in this puppy and get on the National Do Not Call Registry.
  
  
• BILLIONAIRES FOR BUSH - Join other billionaires across the country in support of George Dubya! The Billionaires for Bush have many platforms including: "Blood for oil: It's worth it!" "Small government. Big Wars." and "Leave no billionaire behind!"
  
  
• ALLEY CAT ALLIES - I know... I know... You didn't even know there was a major feral cat problem in the U.S. Well there is. And thanks to Nicole Sullivan who won $100,000 for this charity on Celebrity Poker Showdown, now the whole world knows about it. So, go on... visit this site and then do what you can to help them lop off the genitalia of stray kitties all over the place!
  
  
• BUSH IN 30 SECONDS - Check out these fantastic anti-Bush ads made for a contest sponsored by the non-partisan MoveOn.org.
  
  
• SOUND OPINIONS - The music critics for The Chicago Tribune and The Chicago Sun Times have this very informative website to support their radio show about all sorts of music. Sometimes they agree, sometimes they disagree... Hey, someone should make a show like this for movies!
  
  
• FLICKER LAB - The fine and talented folks at FlickerLab created the cool opening animation and all the graphics for Bravo's new hit show, Celebrity poker Showdown.
  
  
• THE PALMS CASINO - The Palms in Las Vegas is THE hippest place to hang out, gamble, and party these days. Not to mention that it is the home of Bravo's newest big thing: Celebrity Poker Showdown.
  
  
• POKERITIS - All you can think about is poker? Rather play Hold 'em than eat? Is Celebrity Poker Showdown your favorite TV show before it even airs? Sounds like you've got "Pokeritis." This is a very thorough and informative poker site for beginners and rounders alike.
  
  
• EXTREME PING PONG - Is it some wacky Japanese variety show, or is it a ping pong scene that was cut out of The Matrix?
  
  
• SCTV EPISODE GUIDE - One of the most complete websites dedicated to one of the funniest television series of all time. If you're not an SCTV fan, you should be.
  
  
• CELEBRITY SOUNDBOARDS - Do you have a lot of free time? Want to make phony phone calls as your favorite celebrity? Check out eBaum's library of celebrity sound bites.
  
  
• GRASSOLEAN - I heard Darryl Hannah talking to Howard Stern about how she runs her diesel truck on used french fry oil from fast food restaurants. Maybe if you do the same the world will be a better, more ecologically sound place and you'll have something to talk to Darryl Hannah about.
  
  
• THE KARMA FARM - Mark Margaretten made this site complete with apology note genrators and more...
  
  
• MOW DOWN LIZZIE GRUBMAN - Remember that publicity flak woman that mowed down all those people with her car? It's payback time.
  
  
• THE DEGREE CONFLUENCE PROJECT - It seems there are a bunch of people who like visiting points on the globe where whole number latitudes and longitudes intersect. Don't they know these are basically just imaginary lines?
  
  
• SHARK - There's only one actor/stuntman/tough guy in this town who calls himself Shark. You got a problem with that?
  
  
• AURORA BOREALIS - A collection of pictures of the northern lights. I was lucky enough to see them, once, while in college at UVM. Truly an awe inspiring site. Looking at the pictures isn't quite the same, but it will give you an idea.
  
  
• CRAZY CHALLENGES - Photographic proof of people trying to eat a spoonful of cinammon, or a jar full of horseradish, or six saltines in a minute... that kind of thing.
  
  
• THE GEEK TEST - This extensive on-line quiz will tell you how much of a geek you are. I was fairly relieved to discover that I ranked pretty low.
  
  
• BEAUTIFUL MUSIC - "Wing" immigrated to New Zealand with her family from Hong Kong. She has been learning singing in New Zealand and does performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals. Enjoy.
  
  
• LIVE (EXTRA) LARGE, LIVE FREE - Freedom Paradise is a vacation club that focuses on the needs of plus-size tourists. The hotel buildings are just one story high, the chairs are armless, and the sun beds are comfortable.
  
  
• GAMEFLY - How long have we been saying it: "When is someone gonna start up a Netflix-like on-line rental service for video games?" Someone has.
  
  
• WHAT A CHARACTER! - A website devoted to putting a name with those faces that you've seen in a million old movies and TV shows.
  
  
• AH... AH... CHOOOO! - I guess some people have a thing for seeing people sneeze... and looking at picutres of people sneezing... and cartoons about sneezing... and hearing people sneeze... All I can say is, gesundheit.
  
  
• VERY COOL HONDA AD - Check out this very smart Rube Goldbergian ad for Honda. Supposedly it really worked (after more than 600 takes) but even if it's fake it's clever as all get out.
  
  
• BLOW UP A CHURCH - Some British fellow has created a life-sized inflatable church. WARNING: In case of a water landing, the house of worship may NOT be used as a flotation device.
  
  
• MOLECULES WITH SILLY NAMES - Arsole, Dicktite, and Moronic Acid are just a few of the real scientific molecule names that will make you snicker at this educational website.
  
  
• LIGHTSABER KID - This is painfully hysterical. Apparently this kid borrowed a video camera at school so he could record himself pretending to do battle with a lightsaber. He forgot to take the tape out of the camera. Oops. You can't be THIS funny if you're trying to be. This is one of the funniest, most tragically embarrassing things I've seen in a long time. (You 'll need the Window's Media Viewer to see it.)
  
  
• DIP YOUR OWN MAKER'S BOTTLE - Here at meshugena.net, our alcoholic beverage of choice is the tasty and powerful Maker's Mark bourbon. At their lovely and extensive website, you can cap off a virtual tour of the distillery at this fun page that lets you cyber-dip a bottle into their trademark red wax. (If you call to order any products, be sure to ask for Stephanie. She's delightful. You can tell her I said so.)
  
  
• THE REAL SLIM SADDAM - A fun and funny little flash animation of a Saddam-bashing song parody.
  
  
• FREAKY FRANKS - This webpage finally puts the power of the internet to the type of use for which it was designed. You may create your own hot dog with toppings as extravagant as Spaghettios, Circus Peanuts, and Buffalo Wings -- just to name a delectable few.
  
  
• HOW MUCH IS INSIDE? - Ever wondered how much shaving cream is in one can? Or how many Cheerios are in one box? Or how much a tampon can absorb? Wonder no more. This is just one of the many fun features you'll find at cockeyed.com.
  
  
• NAUGHTY FOOD - Cock Soup, Donkey Balls, and Bimbo Sandwiches are just a few of the culinary delights that will make you giggle at this wacky page brought to you by the fine folks at cockeyed.com.
  
  
• ELVIS & KARATE - Kang Rhee taught Elvis (Presley) karate from 1970-1974. At this site you will find everything you might want to know and/or buy with regards to the relationship between Kang and The King.
  
  
• STRINDBERG & HELIUM - These are some bizarre and funny flash animations that chronicle the adventures of August Strindberg and a talking helium balloon.
  
  
• THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: WIND WAKER - This fabulous video game was going to be called, "Why Andrew Doesn't Get As Much Sleep As He Should," but it wouldn't fit on the small GameCube disc.
  
  
• KEYBORD COOTIES - When's the last time you vaccumed your keyboard? ASDFGHJKLsemi-colonoscopy, y'know what I mean?
  
  
• FLY GUY - A cute and simple little time-waster where you make a guy fly around with the arrow keys on your keyboard.
  
  
• PHONY PHONE CALLS - This page has a bunch of funny audio -- my favorites are the phony phone calls made with sound bites of Al Pacino (and Arnold Schwarzenegger) from various films.
  
  
• UNAPPETIZING RECIPE CARDS - Real recipe cards from Weight Watchers circa 1974 - complete with pictures of some of the most awful food you've ever seen. No wonder people lost weight.
  
  
• "MISUSED" QUOTATION MARKS - If you're looking for a "website" that catalogs "misused" quotation marks, then you've "hit the jackpot."
  
  
• I JUST WANT BANG BANG BANG - A bawdy, insensitive little Flash animated music video. Just one of the many strange things you'll find atStarterupsteve.com.
  
  
• FLASH MIND READER - It knows what number you're thinking of. It just knows.
  
  
• CAGEY CONSUMER - It's not a particularly pretty site, but the folks at CageyConsumer.com expose both good and bad deals alike.
  
  
• UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU! (TO PLAY THIS VIDEO GAME) - The U.S. Army created a video game to brainwash unsuspecti-- I mean, show you how much fun it is to be in the Army. It's only available for PCs, apparently if you're right-brain enough to own a Mac, they figure you're not "Army" material.
  
  
• ON-LINE ESPRESSO MACHINE - Make yourself a nice little shot of espresso. I'll have a double.
  
  
• VIDEO GAME UNIVERSITY - DigiPen is a University where you can major in Video Games. In fact, it's the only thing you can major in. Designing them, that is. DigiPen is located on the grounds of Nintendo's U.S. headquarters, the 7-11 across the street is now the highest grossing in the Pacific Northwest thanks to the video geeks' need for big gulps and corn dogs.
  
  
• ANTI-WAR POSTERS - Old U.S. propaganda posters with a new twist. Buy one now before it's against the law!
  
  
• BAD SCIENCE PROJECTS - The scientific method put to poor use. A website and bulletin board with tons of info on such misguided efforts as "the visible Barbie project," "Magic 8-Ball autopsy," and "bonsai kittens."
  
  
• ROLLER COASTER DATABASE - A comprehensive, searchable database with information and statistics on over 1500 roller coasters throughout the world.
  
  
• GREAT MUG SHOTS - The folks at The Smoking Gun have put together a very entertaining gallery of mug shots. These are just interesting looking regular criminals. If it's celebrity mug shots you're after, they have those too.
  
  
• THE MAN WITH THE SMALLEST PENIS - A cute little animated trilogy about the man with the smallest penis in the world and the electron microscope operator who loved him.
  
  
• BARE BREASTED MESSAGE - I'm not sure why, but at this site you can type in your name (or anybody's for that matter) and see a photo of a topless pert-breasted maiden holding a "handwritten" card that says, "I love (whoever's name you typed)."
  
  
• INTER FACE - Interact with Dominique's pretty face by rolling your cursor over different parts of it, and watch what happens. Pointless, but cool.
  
  
• THE LETTER PROJECT - Type in a word, a name, a phrase, anything... and look at the fun thing it does!
  
  
• BIRTHDAY REMINDERS - Register with BirthdayAlarm.com, input birthdays you want to remember, and they'll send you reminders through eMail. Now if you only had a service to remind you to check your eMail...
  
  
• FREE BUSINESS CARDS - These folks will make you nice business cards for free! (okay, so there's a small postage and handling charge... but it's practically free!)
  
  
• WHY WE SHOULD BRUSH OUR TEETH - Thanks once again to Steegie for finding this fun little animated cautionary tale about a guy, his teeth, and a dog.
  
  
• BLACK PEOPLE LOVE THEM - Sally and Johnny are pretty white, but the Black community loves them!
  
  
• PHIL GORDON - Phil Gordon is a dot com millionaire, a poker champion, and a really nice guy. Check out this site to chart his travels or go to his Ultimate Sports Adventure site to see why a guy who could live anywhere is living in an RV.
  
  
• ROSHAMBO WORSHIP - Apparently, to some people, Rock, Scissor, Paper is much more than a game. After you've learned more about the game than you thought existed, try your luck against the "Roshambot".
  
  
• POOP FACTS - Everything you always wanted to know about poop. What's poop made of? Why does it smell like that? Why is it brown? At smellypoop.com, you'll find the answers to those questions and much much more!
  
  
• MAKE THE DOUGHBOY FART - When you poke him in the tummy, he doesn't giggle anymore.
  
  
• NO MORE AOL CD'S! - You know those "free" AOL CD's that flood your mailbox monthly? Well, this guy's collecting them, and when he gets a million (probably pretty soon) he's gonna give 'em back to AOL.
  
  
• INSTANT BUSH SPEECH - Click on the words and phrases and the George W. will speechify right from your browser. So lifelike it's scary. Well, I don't know about you, but he scares the shit outta me...
  
  
• AS SEEN ON TV! - Whether it slices or dices or catches fish or removes dings and dents without scratching paint, if you've seen it on TV you'll find it here. Pretty soon they're gonna have to change the name of this site to "As seen on the internet."
  
  
• GOOGLE FIGHT! - A bloodless battle of internet popularity. Enter two names, words, whatever... and Google Fight will compare the number of World Wide Web mentions thereof. The bad news: in the fight between Hell and Paradise, Paradise only had 4,990,000 hits while Hell had 8,940,000. Oh well, I guess Satan is still Champion...
  
  
• FORTY DEUCE - A very hip Hollywood nightspot. The decor is hip in a comfy speakeasy kind of way, and nightly, two talented femme-fatales perform an exquisite (old fashioned burlesque-type with more than a touch of Fosse) striptease on the stage and on the bar! It's classy, not sleazy. If you're in town and over twenty-one, check it out (if you can get in).
  
  
• WHICH JOHN CUSACK ARE YOU? - Take this quiz to see which fictional character portrayed by John Cusack you are most similar to. Apparently, I'm John Kelso from "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" -- compassionate, inquisitive, and I look really hot in a tuxedo.
  
  
• SCR*BBL* ANYONE? - At the Nuthouse, for only $20/year, you can play this fantastic word game online with people all over the world.
  
  
• CYBERWOLF'S SCRABBLE SITE - Sp**k*ng of Scr*bbl*, Cyberwolf (an excellent player that I occasionally manage to beat) has a website with lots of helpful word lists.
  
  
• CARTOON BANK - You know how you keep thinking you should cancel your "New Yorker" subscription because all you read is the cartoons? Well, now you can! Check out this site, the ultimate database of "New Yorker" cartoons and covers.
  
  
• THE BEST STEAK I EVER ATE - I've had some great (and overpriced) steaks in my day, but the Cajun Rib Eye at the Post House, was far and away, bite for bite, the tastiest steak I've ever had.
  
  
• COME BACK AS A DIAMOND - Life Gems will take your dead body, burn it so that it maximizes the carbon production, then take that carbon and squeeze it into a diamond. Then your loved ones can wear you around as a navel ring.
  
  
• LOU BROOKS - Besides being a fan of meshugena.net, Lou Brooks is a talented illustrator with a cool website of his own. Check out Louie-ville, his fun collection of Flash animations and Hollywood Art Attack, his reviews of real "art" films.
  
  
• 2002 SCRABBLE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS - Congratulations to "G.I. Joel" Sherman on his big win in Sna Diego.
  
  
• SCARSDALE RAIDER FOOTBALL - Do all High School football teams have their own websites now? Back in my day, they were lucky to have cleats and shoulder pads. Maroon & White, fight fight!
  
  
• MY DINNER WITH ANDREW - In case you missed the link when it was on my main page, check out the photos of me having dinner with Andrew Newman.
  
  
• DICTIONARAOKE - It's karaoke, "sung" by on-line dictionary pronunciation guides. Be sure to check out "The Girl From Ipanema."
  
  
• THE VIDEO VIGILANTE - What do you get when some guy posts video he shoots of johns and prostitutes in Oklahoma City on the web for all to see? A great reason not to get a prostitute in Oklahoma City. The way I see it, if you're in Oklahoma City, a prostitute is not what you need. A bus ticket out of Oklahoma City, THAT'S what you need.
  
  
• FOOTBAG WORLD WIDE INFORMATION SERVICE - Your single source of information about footbag and Hacky Sack. What? Like you could possibly need more than one source of information about footbag and Hacky Sack?
  
  
• PERSONALIZED CONFETTI - At confoti.com, they make dime-sized confetti, customized with whatever graphics you want. Just upload pictures, and they'll do the rest. (Except for throwing it, you have to do that yourself).
  
  
• DEREK AND CLIVE - Very funny. Very naughty. Very Peter Cook and Dudley Moore when they were young and drunk.
  
  
• PUZZABILITY - Wordgames, puzzles, and more. Recommended by none other than Andrew Newman.
  
  
• PERSONALIZED eSHOES! - Now you can custom order sneakers with any picture you want on them! (These shoes look nice, but not nearly as nice as these nifty clothing items and gifts!)"
  
  
• STEAL THESE GRAPHICS - Jeffrey Zeldman presents a neat site chock full of graphics, some cool stuff just for Mac users, and more!
  
  
• METACRITIC - A very helpful site that compiles and synopsizes reviews of movies, music, and video games.
  
  
• EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY! HOMESTAR RUNNER! - Fun cartoons, music, and more starring great characters like "Strong Bad," "Bubs," "Marzipan," and (of course) "Homestar Runner."
  
  
• OFFICIAL MESHUGENA.NET MERCHANDISE - Limited edition hats, shirts, and flying discs, with more neat stuff to come! Powered by CafePress.
  
  
• CHEESE RACING - A noble sport born of the flame retardant nature of the individually wrapped cheese slice.
  
  
• MASTERMIND TOYS - A cool toy store in Toronto that has fun and interesting toys including "Catch-a-Bubble" - bubble blowing stuff that makes bubbles that harden slightly when they hit the air.
  
  
• THE POOP THESAURUS - Other words for poop.
  
  
• ROCK, SCISSOR, PAPER! - Finally, a way to play this classic game via eMail. REMEMBER: paper covers rock, rock bends scissors, and scissors cut paper.
  
  
• SAPPORO STADIUM - This website celebrates the "joyful culmination" of the stadium affectionately known as "HIROBA" in Hitsujigaoka (on the outskirts of Sapporo). HIROBA has "dual arenas" comprising one open and one closed and its most prominent feature is the "hovering soccer stage," which is the world's first air hovering mobile system natural turf soccer field. They can push a few buttons and make the soccer field move INSIDE where the baseball stadium usually is.
  
  
• MELANIE GRIFFITH - The OFFICIAL(ly crazy) website of Melanie Griffith. She doesn't mean it to be, but it's hilarious. Be sure to have your sound on so you can hear her voice as she welcomes you to "Avalon" and the "Goddess Club," not to mention the "Intimacy" section.
  
  
• CAFE DU MONDE - A singular cup of coffee. If you've been to New Orleans, then you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't been, it's another great reason to go. (There's a hint of chicory in it!)
  
  
• QUIZNO'S - Oven toasted tastes better. It just does. At Quizno's website you can find out more about the sandwiches and more about the company. If I don't get a job soon, maybe I'll open one of these babies. Mmmmmm, toasty!
  
  
• SEND A TEXT MESSAGE - This may only work with Verizon cell phones, but it's pretty cool. Type a message into this webpage, and seconds later it appears on a designated cell phone as a text message.
  
  
• WEBOPEDIA - An online dictionary and searchable database of terms related to computeing and internet technology. If you don't know your GUI from WYSIWYG, this is the place to learn.
  
  
• DIVORCE SOURCE - Everything you always wanted to know about divorce. State specific laws and forms, frequently asked questions, referrals, and more. If you can't stay together, click on this!
  
  
• AGE GAUGE - Type your birthdate into Noy the Bear's Age Guage and find comparisons between your age and that of some very famous people. Apparently I am 16 years and 2 months older than Tiger Woods, 39 years and 5 months younger than the Pope, and exactly as old as them thar hills.
  
  
• EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS ANSWERED - Anonymous answers to life's most embarrassing questions. Anal bumps? Eye crust? Smelly hair? All that and more!
  
  
• THE WRITER AT WORK COMICS - Richard Krzemien not only has an extra "z" in his name, he also has a website with comics about a writer at work. No, wait, I mean a website with comics about THE writer at work.
  
  
• DIGITAL CLOCK - Turn your $2,000.00 computer into a $29.00 digital clock! Actually, it's worth checking out, the graphics are cool.
  
  
• ELECTRIC SHEEP COMIX - Cool adult comics and graphic novels, including Apocamon and The Guy I Almost Was.
  
  
• MEGABALL OF RUBBER BANDS - It is big, it is bouncy, it is rubber bands to its core.
  
  
• SMARTER CHILD - If you already have AOL or AOL Instant Messenger, this is something you gotta check out. Smarter Child is a little "automated buddy" you can chat with... tell jokes to... ask for information... It's really fun and can be quite helpful! Just send an IM to "SmarterChild" and let the fun begin!
  
  
• POKER ROOM.COM - A fun poker site where you can play hold 'em without having to download any software - it runs in your browser. You can play for real or play money, but the management of meshugena.net recommends you stay away from online poker for REAL money. As much as we love the game, we've read too many accounts of cheating, collusion, and fraud.
  
  
• THE WIGGLES - The Wiggles are the best thing to come out of Australia since... whatever the last good thing was to come out Australia. Fruit salad, yummy yummy!
  
  
• GEORGE W: PIN-UP GIRL - Very well executed photoshop enhancements of our commander-in-chief.
  
  
• THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN - The Hollywood sign has its own website! Including live cams with views from the sign, and a neat little Quicktime movie that lets you see the sign from space.
  
  
• WD-40 - Perhaps the most useful stuff in the world. What doesn't it do? At the product's official website you'll find the "use of the day" (today's: WD-40 removes grease and dirt from car chrome), as well as links to the WD-40 Fan Club!.
  
  
• WHERE DO FARTS COME FROM? - The smart folks at How Stuff Works tackle this all-important question. I think you will agree that if we, as a society, dream of preventing flatulence, our first step is recognizing what begets it.
  
  
• RADIO SAVANT - The multi-talented April Winchell has a very hip site promoting her award-winning radio advertising production company, Radio Savant. Find out why her slogan is, "Radio Savant: We do great radio. Other than that, we're idiots."
  
  
• ANOTHER MESHUGENA WEBSITE?! - They don't spell Meshugena quite the same, but they do seem to think they are the official Meshugenah website... Well. We all know better. Apparently "Meshugenah" is the name of a band from Baltimore. I can't recommend their music (I've never heard it) but I can recommend their Dancing Herves.
  
  
• WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? - A cool little photo puzzle. It took me three minutes of looking to figure out what's wrong with this picture, how long will it take you? I promise you, when you do see it, you'll feel really stupid.
  
  
• MINIATURE GOLF - A fun little time wasting video game version of miniature golf.
  
  
• CANED IN TOTNES - This marijuanderful link was sent to me by Dr. Hemp himself. It's the unofficial web site for the historic (British) Devon town of Totnes which is apparently trying to build a reputation on a big pile of weed.
  
  
• DEAD OR ALIVE? - Did you ever want to know if a famous person was dead or alive? Finally, at long last, a place to go to find out.
  
  
• PAUL VOLKER'S WILD BEASTS - Artist Paul Volker makes paintings of animals with titles like "Chicken With Omelet Hat" and "Mouse Out of Coffee". You, too, can own his original artwork for as little as $1.04/sq. inch.
  
  
• NETHERWORLD OF LOST ANSWERS - Edward Jay Epstein tells the truth as he sees it.
  
  
• THE BALLOON HAT EXPERIENCE - Addi Somekh and Charlie Eckert travel the world making balloon hats for people and taking photos of them. Kinda makes me feel like I have a life after all.
  
  
• COLORGENICS - What does your affinity for certain colors say about your personality? Find out here. I thought this was bullshit, but then was quite surprised at the accuracy and detail of the profile of me it created. So maybe it is bullshit, but apparently so am I.
  
  
• RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR - A fun little 'pop the bubbles' shockwave random number generating doohickey from the good blokes at the British Lottery. If only I had this link last week when the California Lotto was up to $200 million... (If you win a bundle with numbers you get from this site, I expect a little taste - I'm just sayin')
  
  
• TODD RUNDGREN - Hello, it's him. Musician/songwriter/producer Todd Rundgren has a pretty cool and extensive website devoted to musician/songwriter/producer Todd Rundgren.
  
  
• MARIJUANA PENALTIES - BY STATE - One state's felony is another state's traffic ticket. This helpful guide from the good folks at NORML will tell you how much to not get caught with where you are.
  
  
• LATIN SAYINGS - Impress your friends by peppering your speech with some of these nifty Latin sayings. Because, after all, trahimur omnes studio laudis.
  
  
• DESIGN FOR CHUNKS -What if airsickness bags were decorated by designers? According to the creators of this site, "puking in dull bags can no longer be accepted..."
  
  
• IS YOUR SPOUSE CHEATING ON LINE? - Find out with this software that monitors internet activity and takes screenshots every sixty seconds to see just what the suspected spouse/child/porn-perusing-employee is doing on their computer. Big brother IS watching (and why shouldn't he? - It only costs $69.95)
  
  
• TEST YOUR MORALS - At this 'test' put together by the British Philosopher's Magazine you make tough choices in 19 hypothetical scenarios that cut to the heart of your personal morals and ethics. There are no "incorrect" answers to these questions, but you might get some insight into your moral framework and how it compares to others who have taken the test.
  
  
• INTERNATIONAL NOKIA RINGTONES & LOGOS - Briton Ed Simpson has got a site with tons of downloadable ringtones and logos for Nokia phones all over the world. He couldn't get me a free new cell phone, but he seems like a nice guy.
  
  
• INSANITY TEST - Are you sure you're not crazy? Take the test at this site and find out. No surprise, I failed.
  
  
• STOP PUPPET VIOLENCE - Jeff Danger and the S.A.A.P. strongly believe that puppeteers deserve the same rights as all human beings. (A crazy notion, I know, but we try to represent all philosophies here at meshugena.net)
  
  
• STEVEN WRIGHT - Steven Wright is one of the most talented comedian/writer/painter/musician/filmmakers working today. At his website you'll find clips, tour info, writings, and more.
  
  
• MILK & CHEESE! - Everyone's favorite angry dairy products have their own little corner in the house of fun.
  
  
• BAD SCRABBLE HANDS - Think you're the unluckiest Scrabble player ever? Check out this photographic proof that some people pick even worse tiles than you!
  
  
• PALINDROME - In honor of the palindromic new year, I include this link to the only palindromic URL on the internet (that I know of): http://wordsmith.org/words/sdrow/gro.htimsdrow//:ptth/
  
  
• THE PALINDROMIST -And speaking of palindromes, here's the on-line home of The Palindromist magazine - a journal for people who write and read palindromes.
  
  
• THE GENIUS OF TEX AVERY - A great site dedicated to one of the greatest cartoonists ever. Some interesting reading, a filmography, and links to other Tex Avery sites including TexAvery.com where you'll find great stuff including desktop pictures from his classic cartoons.
  
  
• GONADS AND STRIFE - WEEEEEE! - Just one of the entertaining animated on-line music videos from the creative folks at ThreeBrain.com.
  
  
• CHROMOSAPIEN.NET - The new digital headquarters of the Chromo Sapien Action Network. Their first site was closed down by the Feds after Dr. Allen Hitchens posted some classified documents. These brave crusaders are dedicated to exposing the Federal Government's human cloning conspiracy.
  
  
• ON-LINE YOGA CLASSES - If you have a high speed internet connection, you can do a professionally led Yoga class in your own home. Just don't try to point and click while you're in "downward facing dog."
  
  
• THE BRICK TESTAMENT - Bible stories brought to life through the magic of Lego.
  
  
• 2001 SCRABBLE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS - Held every two years, the Scrabble World Championships is where the best battle the best. This year, Brian Cappaletto vanquished defending champion Joel Wapnick using words like "VOZHD."
  
  
• THIS IS JIM ROCKFORD... - Some memorable messages left on the answering machine of TV's coolest private detective. C'mon, let's all sing the theme song. "Doo doo doodoodoo, doodadoodadoodadoodoodoo..."
  
  
• SEGWAY - SCOOTER OF TOMORROW, TODAY! - "Ginger," "It," "Segway," ...whatever you wanna call it, this "Human Transport" device is one of the coolest things I've seen in a while. Balanced by five gyroscopes, you just step on it, lean forward slightly, and it goes. This oughta hold us 'til they perfect the Jet Pack.
  
  
• PICTURES OF PEOPLE ON DRUGS - Photographer Ashkan Sahihi is fighting his own war on the war on drugs. He gave a bunch of people different drugs, then took pictures of them and described there stonededness... No, he does not need any more models.
  
  
• TURD TWISTER - It's like a Play Doh Fun Factory for your ass.
  
  
• SHOOT THE TELETUBBIES - A fun little shockwave game where you get to blast Teletubbies.
  
  
• LEECHES - When you need leeches for medicinal purposes, doesn't it always seem like the apothecary is closed? Well, never fear. The people at Leeches, U.S.A. are always open! And they even sell "Leech Mobile Homes" -- the easier way to store, carry, and care for medicinal leeches!
  
  
• TRANSLATIONS - A fun website that will translate any phrase you give it into... Spanish: Un website de la diversi—n que traduzca cualquier frase usted la da en... Potugese: Um website do divertimento que traduza toda a frase voc� d‡-a em... Dutch: Een website van de pret die om het even welke uitdrukking zal vertalen u het in geeft... French: Un website d'amusement qui traduira n'importe quelle expression vous la donnez dans... German: Ein Spa§website, das jede mšgliche Phrase Ÿbersetzt, geben Sie sie in... Italian: Un website di divertimento che tradurrˆ tutta la frase la date in... Not to mention Korean, Chinese, and Japanese!
  
  
• URBAN LEGENDS REFERENCE PAGES - The ultimate resource for determining which Urban Legends are just that and which are based on fact. Is Coca Cola really an effective spermicide? This is the place to find out.
  
  
• JONAS SALK: A REMINISCINCE - A hysterical look at the man behind the sugar cube. Thanks to the lovely and talented Nell Scovell for the link!
  
  
• SLASHDOT - News for nerds. Stuff that matters.
  
  
• HANS REICHEL - Thanks to Tom Egan for the link to this very cool very visual site for musician/composer Hans Reichel. Lots of neat interactive FLASH stuff and more.
  
  
• AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE - A searchable on-line dictionary of American Sign language. Or jump straight to the alphabet if you like.
  
  
• NO NO NOSTRADAMUS - We all get a lot of alarmist eMail crap these days. Here's a site that has a lot of info on Nostradamus, including how all these "predictions" we're seeing now are fabrications and hoaxes.
  
  
• MEN WHO LOOK LIKE KENNY ROGERS - The fellow who created this site thinks it's a little spooky that so many men out there look like Kenny Rogers. I think it's spookier that he takes their pictures and posts them on the internet.
  
  
• BOONG GA BOONG GA - So there's this Japanese arcade game where you stick your... where you... Well, let's just say it's a whole different kind of Pokemon.
  
  
• THE BUTTON - Press it. Go on... press the button. You know you want to press it...
  
  
• SURVIVOR SPOILERS - Everything you always wanted to know about the next Survivor, before they even finish shooting it.
  
  
• FINISHING THE HAT - Supposedly this site will soon contain artwork by several Los Angeles based artists. Right now it has some Crostic Puzzles based on Sondheim lyrics. I guess those L.A. artists aren't quite finished with their hats yet.
  
  
• MIKE THE HEADLESS CHICKEN - The true story of one bird's will to live.
  
  
• NATIONAL SCRABBLE ASSOCIATION - If you're even mildly addicted to Scrabble, as I am, you'll love this site where you can learn more than you'd ever want to know about the game with all the letters. You can even follow some championship matches turn by turn.
  
  
• RONGOS ENTERTAINMENT - The official home of all things rong - brought to you by Dij Rong. If enjoying this site is rong, I don't wanna be write.
  
  
• SIT COM REPARATIONS - After what we've been made to watch, we deserve cash!!!
  
  
• REJECT THE REBATE - Okay, we all know George W is trying to buy our friendship with these "rebate" checks... This is a website that encourages you to give all (or part) of your rebate back to the government (or other charity). I'm taking mine to Vegas.
  
  
• INTERNET THEATRE DATABASE - As the IMDb is to movies, so is the ITDb to Broadway and Off Broadway theatre. Look up the original cast of any show, or maybe just your favorite actor.
  
  
• MONKEY PETE CARTOONS - Fun cartoons featuring Monkey Pete, Clown Bob, and Rick the Sausage.
  
  
• HARRY HOUDINI - You can't escape the magic of this site devoted to the life of the one and only Erich Weiss.
  
  
• ZEN - See it. Click it. Breathe it. Click it again.
  
  
• POLLSTAR - THE CONCERT HOTWIRE -If you're still young enough (at heart) to enjoy seeing live music, this site is searchable by Artist, City, and/or Venue. From Neil Diamond to Ratdog, Pollstar's got you covered.
  
  
• TABLE OF CONDIMENTS - Like the periodic table of the elements, only more relevant to your daily life. This table lists relishes, sauces, and dips and how long it takes them to go bad.
  
  
• THE DAN BAND - Dan Finnerty is the Dan of the Dan Band - only the coolest straight-guys-covering-chick-song bands around, The Dan Band. If you have a chance to see them, go. You'll laugh, you'll dance, you'll have a great time. Guaranteed.
  
  
• RELIGIOUS BOARD GAMES - Why stay inside and play boring ol' video games when you can stay inside and play a board game that lets you "Bring about the Rapture and defeat the Antichrist by fielding Bible trivia. In a theologically provocative twist, players roll dice both for themselves and for the Antichrist."
  
  
• THE EASTER EGG ARCHIVE - An "easter egg" is a little surprise built into a computer program to make it do something unexpectedly amusing should you know how to activate it. For instance, in old versions of Microsoft Word, if you type zzzz and then spellcheck it, the only suggested replacement word is "sex." This is a website devoted to divulging these little goodies for many different programs - both Mac and PC.
  
  
• DVD EASTER EGGS - There are also little surprises hidden in many DVDs. This site will tell you where.
  
  
• WOODSTOCK - Back in 1969, 500,000 people showed up for a concert at a farm in upstate New York. Drugs were taken, babies were born, and a website was made.
  
  
• LIFE ROCK & ROLL GALLERY - Life Magazine has chronicled much about Rock & Roll over the years. This site has it all, articles, artifacts, trivia, and a decade by decade lisitng of cover photos of rock legends.
  
  
• THE PALM - Tasty steaks, Flinstones-sized portions, famous clientele, and a pretty nifty website.
  
  
• FIGHT FLATULANCE - ...or at least fight the resultant fumes. This is a link to a Denver Post article about filtered underwear.
  
  
• BELIEVE IN GNOD - AND GNOD SPOKE: "Gnod is an experiment in artificial intelligence. Its a self-adapting system, living on a server and 'talking' to everyone who comes along. You might call it a search-engine to find things you don't know about." It's kinda cool. Click on "GNOD EVERYTHING" and Gnod will start showing you things - images, text, links, anything! You tell Gnod whether or not you like what you see, and then Gnod starts picking things it thinks you will like based on your preferences. It's like "Stream of Consciousness for Dummies."
  
  
• PASTRYDUDE.COM - Chef Juan Carlos Cruz IS the Pastry Dude. Visit his website for recipes, pictures of the Pastry Dude himself, and tips on how to "Wow your friends and look cool while doing so."
  
  
• RED MEAT FOR VEGETARIANS -At RED MEAT.com, you'll find the secret files of cartoonist Max Cannon. Matt Groenig, creator of The Simpsons and Life in Hell, once said, "In a culture full of sick, twisted, perverted art, RED MEAT is up there at the top--it's that good."
  
  
• GEORGE WASHINGTON WAS NOT OUR FIRST PRESIDENT - Not according to Nick Pahys, Jr., founder and curator of the Presidential Museum of Hartsgrove, Ohio. Apparently it's some guy named, "John Hanson." ...John Hanson?! Is this guy even on a coin or anything?
  
  
• THE CRIME LIBRARY - Hundreds of in-depth, true stories about the most notorious crimes of all time.
  
  
• THE WIRETAP NETWORK - Listen to "wiretaps" of mafia phone calls on "The Frank & Fritzy Show." Hear mobsters discuss: girl problems, mafia beefs, high blood pressure, a difficult boss, etc... Basically, it's the Sopranos meets Seinfeld.
  
  
• R.I.P. MAURICE NOBLE - Not just the world of animation, but the world in general just lost a treasure. Maurice Noble is widely recognized as the premier animation designer in the history of animation. Animation design or layout design provides the "sets" upon which animated characters perform. His unique and innovative use of color and design are apparent in landmark Disney films such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Bambi, and Dumbo. His work on more than 60 Warner Bros. cartoons featuring characters such as Bugs Bunny and the RoadRunner helped create a new look and approach to animation that continues to influence designers today. He was 91 years old.
  
  
• MUSEUM OF QUESTIONABLE MEDICAL DEVICES - Devious Displays of Quackery, Fraud, Deceit and Deception -- the largest collection of medical chicanery and mayhem ever assembled under one roof. Don't miss the Foot Operated Breast Enlarger Pump or the Recto Rotor.
  
  
• FIND THE G-SPOT - Keep clicking on the picture of the naked girl. If you're in the right vicinity, she lets you proceed; if you're in the wrong neighborhood, she gets a little testy. Yes, there is nudity here, but it's Biology Class nudity.
  
  
• WATCH T.V. IN BED!!! - ...without sitting up! This is the web home for "Square Eyes" -- prismatic glasses that let you lie on your back while watching the TV at the foot of your bed. I thought Americans were the laziest people on the planet, but these are made in the U.K.
  
  
• LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR PLUMMETS - An important and entertaining article from The Onion that everyone should read.
  
  
• PRETEND TO PLAY THE STOCK MARKET - At StockTrak.com you can create a make-believe stock portolio and watch how you would've fared if you'd done it for real with actual money and actual stocks.
  
  
• GROW YOUR OWN - Meshugena.net in NO WAY encourages or endorses any sort of illegal activity, but if you're looking for a GREAT resource for information about growing marijuana, this is the website for you.
  
  
• GREAT MUSICAL TOY! - "Boomwhackers" are color-coded plastic tubes of different lengths that have been "tuned" to certain pitches. Hit them on anything and make music! I ordered a set for myself and a set for my friend's three year old.
  
  
• VOODOO E-MAIL - At Pinstruck.com, you can create a voodoo doll, stick it with virtual pins, then eMail it to anyone ANONYMOUSLY with an accompanying threatening (or lighthearted) message.
  
  
• NEW YORKER CARTOONS - This is the on-line home for all those great cartoons from the New Yorker. A searchable database of cartoons, merchandise, caption contests, and more.
  
  
• HOW TO DANCE PROPERLY - Learn great moves like "who's your daddy?" "smackin' that ass," and more! (prepared exclusively for those attending the hog pit festivities)
  
  
• PSYCHO EX-GIRLFRIEND - He broke up with her... She couldn't let go... She called his machine very frequently... He posted her messages on the internet for all to hear.
  
  
• VOWEL HEAVY WORDS - If you're like me, you love playing Scrabble but hate it when your rack of letters looks like the sound Yosemite Sam makes when his ass catches on fire. For a little help, you might want to study the words listed on this page - they are all at least 70% vowels.
  
  
• EARTH ALL LIT UP - From the good folks at NASA, an extremely cool satellite photo of our planet with all the lights on.
  
  
• STEAL THIS WEBSITE! - NETCHEATS.COM is a resource for cheaters of all types: students, husbands, tax payers, video gamers, and more! If you wanna cheat, look here first.
  
  
• PASS YOUR NEXT DRUG TEST - The folks at Test Clear believe, "you should be judged on your skills, not your lifestyle." That's why they sell "solutions" for urine and hair drug tests.
  
  
• PENIS SIZE SURVEY RESULTS - They call this the most exhaustive penis size survey conducted to date. Everything from actual dimensions, to the possible correlation between size and other parts of the body, to "owner" satisfaction have been asked in a serious attempt to dissect penis fact from "phallic fallacy".
  
  
• HELP FOR THE HUNG - This informative website for the Large Penis Support Group offers scads of resources for those with large organs and those living with those with large organs. I've found it very helpful.
  
  
• GENDER TEST - Take a short quiz and this site will guess your gender. I answered honestly and it guessed mine correctly. The "Do you have a penis?" question made it a little less impressive. (Kidding... it's kind of interesting)
  
  
• DOES YOUR CAR HAVE BALLS? - I'm not sure why, but somebody's selling these "Buggy Balls." Balls for your car. Cojones por su coche. Vehicular testes. SUV scrotums. A sack for the back of your Cadillac.
  
  
• JOVIAN MOONS - Pretty cool close-up pictures of the moons of Jupiter. Be sure to check out the Io flyover movie.
  
  
• YOUR CANCER RISK - Answer a short questionnaire at this (Harvard based) site, and find out how likely you are to get cancer. You know that Am I Going Down? website that tells you how likely your plane is to crash? This is just like that, for your body.
  
  
• redridinghood - Joining the growing list of "interactive cyber literature" is this re-telling of the "Little Red Riding Hood" story, cleverly retitled "redridinghood." It's sort of like a clickable comic book. Kinda.
  
  
• GRAMMATRON - Another entry into the interactive world of cyber-literature, reviews have called it "a colossal hypertext hydrogen bomb dropped on the literary landscape" and "a machine's eye view of both story telling and story theory." Honestly... Maybe I'm not cool enough... But I'm not sure I get it.
  
  
• TAYLOR'S MAID RITE - The internet home of the loose meat sandwich.
  
  
• ERIC CONVEYS AN EMOTION - Confused by consternation? Baffled by belligerence? If you're not clear what certain emotions are, have no fear. Eric acts them out for you. You send him an emotion, he makes the appropriate face, takes a picture, and posts it on the internet for all to see.
  
  
• COOKING BY NUMBERS - You don't have to call for Chinese Food delivery tonight. Just tell this website what you have in your fridge and your cupboards, and will tell you what you can cook -- and give you the recipe.
  
  
• BEST TOILETS - Public restrooms in a dozen major U.S. cities rated for cleanliness and accessibility. Pick a city, click on a neighborhood, and prepare to poo.
  
  
• HATTEN AR DIN - Not JUST my favorite music video, this may very well be my favorite page on the internet. 'Nuff said. Make sure you watch the whole thing, it truly keeps getting better.
  
  
• JUST A TIP - The anonymous, digital way to let someone know about their annoying habits. Just choose from a list of categories like: Hygiene, Appearance, Fashion, Habits, Hobbies, and more... Choose the specific problem(s), and Just A Tip will compose an anonymous eMail and send it to the offending party. You can also use it to send anonymous compliments, but if you're gonna say something nice about somebody, you might as well sign your name, dontcha think?
  
  
• BOB CLAMPETT - Bob Clampett.com is a lot more than everything you always wanted to know about Beany & Cecil. Superb graphics, fun links, and lots of nutty stuff.
  
  
• AHNOLD CALLING - These are VERY funny. Somebody sampled a bunch of Arnold Scwarzenegger phrases and then made phony phone calls with them.
  
  
• OLD RADIO SHOWS - AT www.RUSC.com, the RUSC stands for "R U Sitting Comfortably?" A well organized site that lets you pay-what-you-can (as little as $5 for a month's access!) to download old radio shows in MP3 format. "Superman," "Amos & Andy," "Dragnet," "Abbot & Costello," "The Shadow," "Phillip Marlowe," "Mr. District Attorney," and tons more!!!
  
  
• UBER GUBER - "The geek shall inherit the earth," proclaims this site created by poet, web-designer, tax-preparer Brian Wesley Yaras. You'll find cool graphics, a little poetry, and links to prurient games like strip poker.
  
  
• HOW TO GET AN ORGASM OUT OF A STONE - The (British) people at OMAX make vibrating massagers and don't pretend they're for your "stiff neck" and "aching back." If only the British made decent dental hygiene appliances, they might not need such electronic companionship.
  
  
• GET YOUR BALLS IN THE AIR! - Sorry. You'll find premium juggling equipment, from balls to torchess, diabolos to devil sticks, at this site for Dube Juggling Equipment.
  
  
• AM I GOING DOWN? - This helpful site will calculate the probability of your plummeting to earth in a plane crash. Just input your flight information, and click on the button that asks, "Am I going down?" As of yet, there is still no ability to wager on your flight's chances, but I'm sure they'll be upgrading this site soon.
  
  
• HAIL TO THE CHIMP - "Bush or Chimp?" A gallery of photos that examine the similarities between our recently (and questionably) elected president and various monkeys.
  
  
• WHEN NIXON MET ELVIS - At this page of the Natinal Archives and Records Administration site, you can see the classic photo of Elvis Presley and Richard Nixon, as well as read the letter that Elvis wrote Tricky Dick in which he expressed his concerns for our great country.
  
  
• SHANGHAI DELICACIES - As this website from Shanghai says, "The whole world looks upon eating a Chinese meal as a high-leveled enjoyment." How could tasty treats like Camel Hoof Paste and Skewered Cicadas not be looked upon as high-level enjoyment?
  
  
• COOKING IN KAZAKHSTAN - Have you run out of interesting and tasty ways to prepare horse flesh? Check out this Kazakhstani cooking site. "Hi ho dinner! Away!"
  
  
• HEADS YOU WIN, TAILS I LOSE - The Washington Mint has made a coin with Gore on one side and George W. on the other -- you can order one here. Sounds like a lose-lose proposition to me...
  
  
• HATS OF MEAT - If you're a fan of carnivorous haberdashery, this is the site for you.
  
  
• DEVOTED BEE - Cool drawings, comics and more by Chad Walker.
  
  
• DIGITAL PHOTO PROCESSING - Do you have a Digital Camera but no colr printer? Or maybe you have a color printer but no time to sort through your digital pics and print 'em? At Shutterfly.com, you eMail them your digital pictures, tell 'em how many and what size prints you want, and they send 'em to ya. And they come out great, too.
  
  
• HOW TO THROW A DART - Having trouble hitting the bullseye? Or the triple 20? Or the board? Look here.
  
  
• ESPRESSO QUESTIONS ANSWERED - Have you been trying to make it at home, but it's not as good as when you pay $2.50 a shot? David Bogie offers a very thorough explanation and examination of the beverage and the process. Enjoy!
  
  
• POCKET PIG - Sabrina is a pocket pig. She draws everything she eats on her palm pilot (which she keeps in her pocket) and then posts them here.
  
  
• NARBOTIC - SONGS MADE FOR YOU - Send him a title, he'll write you a song.
  
  
• MR. ABC's - An entertaining and educational animated short that may be educational and/or entertaining in ways you didn't expect.
  
  
• DR. DOWNLOAD - Dr. Download has "the cure for the common code." He checks out a bunch of shareware (games, utilities, media), then passes the best along to you. If you're new to shareware (cheap and free software you can download off the internet), start here.
  
  
• TIMMY BIG HANDS - Essays, comics, games, poetry, syrup ads, and more! All courtesy of a cute little guy with big hands.
  
  
• THE TRAFFIC CONE PRESERVATION SOCIETY - Until the late 20th century, traffic cones were not thought worthy of scientific study. It is the Society's mission to counteract these centuries of neglect.
  
  
• NAKED NEWS - News, weather, sports, business, and entertainment news read to you by naked women.
  
  
• AM I HOT? ...OR NOT? - Real people send in their pictures for you to rate their looks on a scale of 1 to 10. Some hot, mostly not.
  
  
• MC HAWKING - Rhymez and Phat Beats from one of the greatest minds on the planet.
  
  
• THE WORLD'S SMALLEST COMPUTER - A tiny PC you wear on your wrist. Dick Tracy never had one like this!
  
  
• TIME CAPSULE - On the day I was born: Dwight D. Eisenhower was President, the average new car cost $2,250, and people were listening to "Mack the Knife" and "A Big Hunk o' Love." I know this, because I entered the date into this cool website that tells you what was going on when.
  
  
• APHORISMS GALORE - All men naturally desire knowledge. ( - Aristotle) If you want it in short, pithy sayings, go to this site which collects and catalogues aphorisms. It's up to you. You can run with the big dogs, or just sit on the porch and bark. (- Wallace Arnold)
  
  
• EXPLODING DOG DESKTOPS - The people at Dorktown have taken a bunch of Sam Brown's drawings and made them the right size and resolution for desktop pictures (wallpaper). If you haven't checked out Sam Brown's Exploding Dog yet, you should do it right now. Go. Do it. I'll be here when you get back.
  
  
• DREW - Drew writes short essays about his life. In his own words, "most of it is not too great but if you like coffee and indian food and violence then you should maybe read some of what I wrote."
  
  
• F*CKED COMPANY - The dot-com dead pool. Not unlike the morbid game of "celebrity death pool" where you try to guess the next famous person to die, this site provides the same fun for internet related start-ups and established companies.
  
  
• JEWHOO! - It looks just like Yahoo! but it's Jewhoo! ...Get it?
  
  
• JESUS DRESS UP - Use your mouse to drag a variety of outfits onto Jesus on the cross. One of many fun things to see and do at Normal Bob Smith.com.
  
  
• THE O CHANNEL - Steve Oedekerk is a funny guy. This is his funny website.
  
  
• BOWLING NOIR - Films with vertiginous angles, kinetic camera usage, claustrophobic set designs, a theatrical use of light and shadow, strong, independent women, badly flawed, deeply obsessed individuals unable to escape their predetermined fates... and bowling.
  
  
• FORGOTTEN NEW YORK - This site is your gateway to a New York City that existed long ago -- and still exists in a hidden form today. You'll see the past in lampposts, advertisements, bridges, buildings, signs, and things you pass every day in the street that bear silent witness to the NYC that once was. A truly fascinating site.
  
  
• DID YOU KNOW...? - Did You Know.com is a well-organized trivia site with thousands of fun facts. For instance, did you know that Peter the Great taxed people for growing beards? Not a bad idea... If ZZ Top were still around, we could pay off the national debt.
  
  
• $95,093.35 - In May of 1995, Patrick Combs found himself smack in the middle of a very unusual situation. He deposited a junk mail check into his ATM and to his absolute dismay, it cashed.
  
  
• MISS MUFFY VIDEO - An animated video for a rap song about a little girl making muffins. She's got her mind on the muffins and the muffins on her mind.
  
  
• PROJECT EXPLORATION - Dinosaurs dinosaurs dinosaurs. Project Exploration's goal is to: Reduce the distance between science and the public, Involve students and teachers directly with scientists and their research, Provide innovative, hands-on experiences to city kids, and Inspire student populations that are under-represented in paleontology and the natural science professions.
  
  
• EXPLODING DOG - Sam Brown draws really cool stick figure drawings based on suggestions sent in from visitors to this site. Check it out, it's cooler than it sounds.
  
  
• SUPER GREG - This is the home site for all home boys and home chicks, giving U a flava of the Super Greg Concept.
  
  
• DEAD PEOPLE SERVER - Remember whats'er name? She played the girl in that dumb movie with whoziss. What ever happened to her? Specifically, is she dead yet? Here's where to find out!
  
  
• PHONE BASHING - Remember when you were talking on your cell phone and, all of a sudden, a guy in a giant phone costume ran up, snatched your cell phone, and smashed it to the ground? There may very well be film of it at this site. These people DO NOT like cell phones.
  
  
• HOME GROCER - If you live in Seattle, Portland, Dallas, Los Angeles, Orange County, or San Diego; HomeGrocer.com delivers farm-fresh produce, restaurant-quality meat and seafood, and all your favorite brands to your door, at supermarket prices. I've never used them, but my friend has and swears by them. Not only do they have nicely painted trucks, my friend said that when they delivered the food, they wore little booties over their shoes so as not to track anythinmg on the rug.
  
  
• STRAWBERRY POP-TART BLOW-TORCHES - Breakfast treat or incendiary device? You decide.
  
  
• WOLVERINE'S NOT IN THE BIBLE! - The "Child Care Action Project: Christian Analysis of American Culture" website rates movies on their offensiveness to Christian values. Here's what they thought of the mega-hit "X-Men." They give out offensiveness scores ranging from 0 for "Mary Poppins" to 10.65 for "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut" (two of my all-time favorite musicals).
  
  
• TV MINDER - Just the thing to get you out from behind your computer and in front of your television. You tell them what movies you want to see, or what actors, writers, directors you like; and the people at TV Minder will scan all the listings for your area and eMail you to tell you when a movie or program that meets your specifications will be on TV!
  
  
• YOU DRAW - The You Draw Project intends to show humanity at human proportions by collecting 6 Billion drawings of stick figures by people like you and me. Go draw, and get an idea of how crowded our planet is getting.
  
  
• ONE RINGY DINGY... - At yourmobile.com, you can download new tunes for your cell phone to play when it rings. From Santana to South Park (if you have a compatible phone), you can hear your favorite song whenever you get a call.
  
  
• SUGAR PACKETS - People collect just about anything. This site features an extensive sugar packet collection and many "sugar packet links." Next year, the sugar packet people are having a convention next door to the little creamer container people. If the coffee drinking club shows up... watch out!
  
  
• HALFBAKERY - The Halfbakery is a communal database of ideas and inventions, edited by everybody who wants to. It was created by people who like to speculate, both as a form of satire and as a form of creative expression.
  
  
• VIRGINA AVENUE PROJECT - The Virginia Avenue Project is a non-profit organization that puts children in touch with their full potential by developing writing, performing and business skills through long-term collaborations with adult mentors. The Project works with youth, ages six to eighteen, growing up under difficult circumstances.
  
  
• ADBUSTERS - Adbusters is a not-for-profit, reader-supported, 60,000-circulation magazine concerned about the erosion of our physical and cultural environments by commercial forces. And they have some funny spoof ads on their very thorough site.
  
  
• WORD GAMES - A bunch of different word games by the good folks at Merriam-Webster.
  
  
• ANANOVA - ANIMATED NEWSCASTER - Part Katie Couric, part Lara Croft. Ananova delivers the headlines from Europe and around the world.
  
  
• COCKEYED.COM - A fun, interesting, and different site with photos, stories and more.
  
  
• BULLSEYE ART -Very cool and funny flash animations. Check this one out!
  
  
• WHAT'S REALLY IN A TURKEY DINNER? - A group that calls itself "The American Council on Science and Health" put together this site that analyzes a typical holiday meal and all the naturally occuring carcinogens contained within. No wonder my Uncle always falls asleep in front of the football game on Thanksgiving!
  
  
• GESUNDHEIDT! - Allergy relief at the click of a mouse! Yes, they're trying to sell you everything from aromatherapy soap to air purifiers, but my friend found a lot of great information about his runny nose at this site. God bless you.
  
  
• HOW NOT TO CLEAN A PLANE - This is how you shouldn't clean a plane. Complete with pictures.
  
  
• GROUPIE CENTRAL - Everything you always wanted to know about the chicks who get backstage using their... feminine wiles.
  
  
• TRUE TRUE - Are you looking for the little animated version of the Elian picture with the "Wassup?" dialogue? You'll find it here.
  
  
• SEAT ADVISOR - Interactive seating charts for venues all over southern California. Make sure you're not going to be sitting behind a pillar at the next Elvis Costello concert.
  
  
• OGDEN NASH ONLINE - Read great poems by the man who wrote, "The cow is of the bovine ilk. One end is moo, the other, milk."
  
  
• GO TODAY - A travel site that offers incredible deals on vacation packages to Europe and South America. I haven't used them yet, but a friend just booked a trip thru them for a GREAT price. The site is easy to use and very complete.
  
  
• NOTHING - It's nothing, really. Nothing. No, I mean really.
  
  
• CHARLES S. PIERCE - Who was he? Well, you might describe him as a mathematician, astronomer, chemist, geodesist, surveyor, cartographer, metrologist, spectroscopist, engineer, inventor, psychologist, philologist, lexicographer, historian of science, mathematical economist, lifelong student of medicine, book reviewer, dramatist, actor, short story writer, phenomenologist, semiotician, logician, rhetorician and metaphysician.
  
  
• TROLLING - What is a troll? No, not one of those "under the bridge" trolls, but an INTERNET troll? Here is the page with the most comprehensive answer.
  
  
• MATCHMAKER MATCHMAKER... - ...Make me a match. Find me a find. Catch me a catch. Point me a click. I wouldn't know from FIRST hand experience, but I hear this is one of the most thorough single's sites on the internet. If you meet someone here and get married, be sure to invite me to the wedding.
  
  
• MEET AN INMATE - If you don't find your true love at matchmaker.com, maybe you'll find her at this site which boasts photo personals of lonely female inmates wanting penpals.
  
  
• SMASH REGIS - A Shockwave game that lets you drop different people and items on Regis' head.
  
  
• SODACONSTRUCTOR - VERY cool. Sodaconstructor animates and edits two dimensional models made out of masses and springs. Models can be constructed that bounce, roll, and walk, etc. Try some of the ready made models or try to build your own. You weren't planning on getting any work done for the rest of the week, were you?
  
  
• OBERHOFER HAND-CRAFTED COMPUTERS - Beautiful hand-made wooden mice, trackballs, and monitors.
  
  
• HIDDEN CELEBRITY WEBCAM - Check out these funny animated vignettes of celebrities as seen through their refrigerators, written and created by the delightful Nell Scovell.
  
  
• HARD DRINKIN' LINCOLN - A dark and bizarre net cartoon brought to you by the folks at Icebox.com.
  
  
• JIB JAB - I'm not sure what a Jib Jab is, but there are some weird and funny cartoons on this site.
  
  
• MARRY TOM ARNOLD - C'mon, you KNOW you want to.
  
  
• SKIRTMAN - Dale's just a normal, average guy. Who likes to wear a skirt.
  
  
• FINEMAN FILMS - A funny, well-made site that pays tribute to "Fineman Films" - makers of 427 films in the last 25 years. Among them, "Christ for the Defense" and "Telegasm" and "The Foxy Chocolate Robot." (In reality a tie-in to the film, "The Independent.")
  
  
• SWELL.COM - There's really nothing here yet... Nothing except the coolest "under construction" graphics you've ever seen on a website.
  
  
• BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU - I'm not kidding.
  
  
• JOURNAL OF MUNDANE BEHAVIOR - A new scholarly journal devoted to the study of the "unmarked" -- those aspects of our everyday lives that typically go unnoticed by us. The first issue contains a fascinating paper entitled, ""I'm sick of shaving every morning": or, The Cultural Implications of "Male" Facial Presentation."
  
  
• PYLON OF THE MONTH - This site is dedicated to the "humble electricity pylon, whose beauty remains tragically unrecognised. Railed against by misguided environmentalists, these delightful constructions enhance and beautify their surroundings, providing a comforting reminder of Man's harnessing of the forces of nature." ...It's a bunch of pictures of big telephone poles.
  
  ">PYLON OF THE MONTH - This site is dedicated to the "humble electricity pylon, whose beauty remains tragically unrecognised. Railed against by misguided environmentalists, these delightful constructions enhance and beautify their surroundings, providing a comforting reminder of Man's harnessing of the forces of nature." ...It's a bunch of pictures of big telephone poles.
  
  
• PEE STANDING UP - A woman's guide to peeing standing up. With links to the restrooms of the future.
  
  
• MULLETS GALORE! - A mullet is defined as: 1. any of a family of edible, spiny-rayed fishes found in fresh and salt waters and having a small mouth and feeble teeth, as the striped (or gray) mullet. 2. any haircut which the sides and top of the hair are significantly shorter than the back. This website is devoted to the latter.
  
  
• ILLEANA DOUGLAS - One of the coolest, most graphically pleasing sites I've seen. Check it out!
  
  
• WHO SHOULD I VOTE FOR? - You answer 17 multiple choice questions about your political and social leanings and this website will tell you which candidate sees things closest to your way. In fact, it will list ALL the candidates with a numerical representation of how they each score with you.
  
  
• eMODE TESTS - Take an IQ Test, find out what breed of dog you'd be, or discover which celebrity is destined to be your husband or wife. Apparently, I'm a smarter than average Basset Hound who's going to marry Jennifer Aniston.
  
  
• HELP WITH FIDO - Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis, is a renowned author, trainer, and dog behavior expert. An authority on aggressive dogs, he is the host of the PBS television series, WOOF! It's a Dog's Life. His very thorough website is full of information and advice for dog owners.
  
  
• STRANGE PATENTS - People actually thought they were gonna get rich with some of these ideas. This was one of my favorites, I may have been the first to think of this particular invention... but I don't remember.
  
  
• TERRASERVER - I hate plugging anything Microsoft, but this is pretty cool. From this site, you can get an aerial (satellite) photograph of almost anywhere in the world.
  
  
• ON LINE WAGERING - Personally, I don't bet on anything that eats, but if you want to legally bet on sports from the comfort of your own computer, here's a place you can do that.
  
  
• ZIP2 - MAPS AND MORE - Put in an address, get a map. Put in two addresses, get directions. Looking for the closest Blockbuster Video to your house? Zip2 can find it for you. Not as graphically appealing as Mapblast, but it seems to be quicker and more efficient, and it's an all-around web portal with links to news, sports, and more, to boot!
  
  
• DATAPIMP - eMAIL WITH ATTITUDE - If you've always wanted your eMail address to be "I'mtellingyouto@Gof**kyourself.com" this is the place to go. Hundreds of offensive domain names to choose from!
  
  
• eBIKE - Why pedal when Lee Iacocca's eBike can get you around with electronic ease? This site is almost worth the visit just to see pictures of Lee riding around with his bike helmet on.
  
  
• SMOKING IN CINEMA -It causes cancer, it's offensive to people who are sitting close to it, and some people think it's the most glamorous thing ever. Like whoever made this site. This is THE place to go to see pictures and film clips of beautiful movie stars (from yesterday and today) enjoying the pause that refreshes.
  
  
• THE CYRANO SERVER - Almost in time for Valentine's day! Need to write a love letter, but can't find the words? Let the Cyrano Server do it for you. Answer a few mad lib-type questions and you've got yourself a sweet missive for the sweet missus. Or mister. Many styles to choose from, from poetic to surreal.
  
  
• WASSUP?! - REALLY THIS TIME - If you like the Budweiser commercial with the guys just saying, "Wassup?!" over and over into the phone (or the short film it's based on), check out the Superfriends doing the same bit.
  
  
• LIVE 365 - The latest in customizable radio over the internet. I hope it's good, 'cuz the last one I was using got swallowed by some other company and doesn't exist anymore.
  
  
• THE BUBBLEMAN - Garry Golightly is the Bubbleman. I prefer to think of him as his website claims, "A one man bubble festival."
  
  
• ABRIDGED MOVIE SCRIPTS - No time to see the latest hollywood blockbuster? Want to know what to expect before you see a movie? Want to read a mockery of some movie you hated? Have a few minutes to kill? A funny parody site.
  
  
• THE HOAXKILL SERVICE - Dedicated to debunking internet myths, phony virus warnings, and urban legends.
  
  
• WHERE'S GEORGE? -The internet equivalent of letting go of a helium balloon with your name and address attached to it. At this site, you can register dollar bills by serial number. Later, if someone else logs in with the same bill, you can track it's movements.
  
  
• AIRSAFE.COM - A very thorough site about plane safety. Information and advice about specific flights and circumstances, links to weather and other flight related sites.
  
  
• LIVE POLICE SCANNERS - Through this site, APB News.com, you can link to live police scanners in major cities all over the U.S. Hear about crimes when they happen, where they happen, AS they happen.
  
  
• MAHIR'S PAGE - Mahir Cagri is a journalist from Turkey, who, in his own words, "I make psycolojy doctora I like to take foto-camera (amimals , towns , nice nude models andpeoples)...... My tall 1.84 cm (6.2 feet) My weight 78 kg. My eyes green .. I live alone !!!!!!!!! I have home - car..... Who is want to come TURKEY I can invitate ..... She can stay my home ........ I speake turkish , english , rusian , I want to learn otherlanguage !" His site has had over 1,000,000 hits. Find out why.
  
  
• CAT SCAN CONTEST - This website hosts a contest for cat scans... Not the kind that show the inside of your head... The kind that you get when you put your cat on your scanner...
  
  
• FREE AFTER REBATE DOT COM - A website where you can buy all sorts of things that have mail-in rebates for the entire purchase price. I'm assuming your name will get put on a thousand mailing lists for the privelige of getting your item for free, but what's a little more junk mail when you can get something for nothing!
  
  
• MAC BRICKOUT 4.0 - Brand new version 4.0!!! A wonderfully addictive "breakout" style video game for your Macintosh computer. At shareware prices, this is a bargain!
  
  
• ASTRONOMY PICTURE OF THE DAY - From NASA, the folks that brought you Apollo 13, a new, really cool picture each day. Check this out!
  
  
• THE SURREALIST COMPLIMENT GENERATOR - A website that does exactly what it promises - generates surrealist compliments. The last time I went there, it told me, "How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?" Dada is as Dada does.
  
  
• GOBLER TOYS - A fictitious toy company with amusing products. Don't forget to check out the "Gobler Wobbler."
  
  
• TELEPHONE EXCHANGE NAMES - Don't you love it in old movies when they say stuff like, "Call me at Gramercy 5, 3216..." Well, here you'll find a list of recommended names for dialable/quotable telephone EXchange names. It comes from AT&T/Bell's publication "Notes on Nationwide Dialing, 1955".
  
  
• BUMPER DUMPER - Few inventions really IMPROVE our quality of life, and this is one of them. Yep, right along with the likes of Thomas Edison and Benjamin Franklin, you'll find Uncle Booger, inventor of the Bumper Dumper, who proudly claims, "Just plug theBumper Dumper into your hitch receiver and the comfort of home is there when nature calls."
  
  
• EXECUTIVE DEFENSE, INC. - Another handy invention. Just the thing for at-risk business people or anybody who wants to pretend they are James Bond.
  
  
• MOS EISLEY MULTIPLEX - What do Star Wars fanatics do when they're not waiting in line for Phantom Menace tickets to go on sale? They make short film parodies of Star Wars films and upload them to this site where you can download them for varying levels of your own enjoyment.
  
  
• A REAL PAIN IN THE NECK - Here's a description of what was done to my neck on Monday, March 8th (in case you didn't feel sorry for me already). Actually, even though my neck hurts, my legs already feel better. Enormous thanks to Dr. Mauro Giordani and Dr. William L. Caton III. If you need to have your spine sliced open, these are the guys to do it.
  
  
• SEARCH TERMS - What are people who use the internet searching for? Well right now, and I'm sure this comes as no surprise, the first thing they seek is "sex" (or zzzz if you use Microsoft Word). This site lists, in order, the hundred most frequently used search terms. When last I checked, more people were looking for "South Park" than "porn." I guess that's a good sign for humanity... isn't it?
  
  
• GO BOWLING ON THE INTERNET - Now, the internet officially has everything. You will need Shockwave to be able to play, but you already have Shockwave, don't ya? They also have a cool pool simulation too.
  
  
• HAMSTERDANCE -I'm not exactly sure why, but many people have eMailed this site to me, urging me to add it to this venerable list. Here it is. Now I've got to go look up the word "venerable."
  
  
• PHOTO FINDER -From those helpful folks at Alta Vista: a search engine for images on the web! Whatever your graphic needs, this is a great place to start. Need a photo of Elvis Costello? A picture of a Flounder? A portrait of a Flank Steak surrounded by Potatoes? Start your search here.
  
  
• CHANNEL 103.1 - L.A. finally has a AAA radio station again! Visit their website, patronize their sponsors, heck, send them a check! Maybe this time we can keep them on the air! You can listen to them live if you've got RealAudio.
  
  
• AMERICAN SCIENCE & SURPLUS - Incredible stuff, unbelievable prices. This is an online (and real) catalog for a company that gets all sorts of stuff through closeouts, inventory overruns, mis-manufactures, etc. Some stuff with a Scientific or Educational tilt to them, others simply handy or amusing. Well organized website that is tons of fun to browse through. I defy you to not find something you need.
  
  
• BAD ART - Oh it's bad. For the past several years, Vito Salvatore has scoured the earth for the most appallingly bad art he could find. It's all here. Works like, "Carousel Nun," "Eye-yi-yi," and many more.
  
  
• THE DEATH CLOCK - Okay, you might not want to know how many days you have left to live... If you do, here's where you can find out. It looks like I'll be leaving this Earth on August 4, 2033 (about 1,107,000 seconds from this posting). Spooky.
  
  
• MIKE BONNELL'S COMPUTER WALLPAPER - Cool desktop pics. A whole bunch of 'em. I found a few I liked - I particularly recommend gallery #10.
  
  
• THE WORD DETECTIVE - Words words words... A cool word website - the internet version of the newspaper column by Evan Morris. Etymologically delightful.
  
  
• THE SMOKING GUN - Exclusive documents that can't be found elsewhere on the Web. Mob informants' testimony, depositions of beauty queens held as sex slaves, Marv Albert's DNA reports... ...you name it. Material that has been obtained from government sources via Freedom of Information requests, and from court files nationwide.
  
  
• THE DRUDGE REPORT - He's a rumor monger, an irresponsible journalist, and he was the first to break the Clinton/Lewinsky "scandal." 31 yr. old Matt Drudge has a site filled with gossip parading as news. How long until he has his own TV show?
  
  
• THE APE-O-NAUT PICTURE GALLERY - The amusing site that poses (and answers) the question, "Why see something instantly in a magazine when you can wait for it to load on your computer?"
  
  
• THE KLINGON LANGUAGE INSTITUTE - The KLI has two main goals: The first of these missions is to promote, foster, and develop the Klingon language, and the second is to bring together Klingon language enthusiasts from around the world. ...The third should be to stop watching 'Star Trek' reruns and move out of their parents' basement!!!
  
  
• R ZU 2 U - ANIMAL TERMS - What is the proper term for a baby opossum? A female giraffe? A group of kittens? You'll find out here. If you don't check this site out... let me just say that if someone refers to your group of friends as a "shrewdness" - it's not a compliment.
  
  
• CLICHE FINDER - Is your manner of speaking too unique? Are you too original? Do you need to pepper your speech with hackneyed expressions? This fun sites lets you search for cliches by subject. I wanted a list of things everybody always says about "pants". It found: caught'em with his pants down - hiked up his pants - liar, liar, pants on fire - ants in his pants - kick in the seat of the pants - put on his pants one leg at a time - by the seat of his pants - and... she wears the pants.
  
  
• PARASAUROLOPHUS SOUNDS - A couple of scientists took some old dinosaur bones and programmed a computer to figure out the kind of sound this particular dinosaur used to make. You can listen to it here. It's a little like the sound I make after eating pastrami.
  
  
• PHONE SPELLER - Ever wondered wht your phone number spells? Ever wanted to have a number that spells something specific? This site is for you.
  
  
• APARTMENT SEARCH - If you're looking for an apartment anywhere in the U.S., you might want to look here first.
  
  
• CALIFORNIA FARMER'S MARKETS - It's Thursday... Where oh where can I get some organically grown Arugula??? You'll find the answer here. A complete list of ALL the farmer's markets in the entire state.
  
  
• THE GRAND WAILEA - In Maui. God, was it gorgeous. I wish I was still there.
  
  
• THE BIG SELL OUT - "Well, they gotta eat, don't they???" Here are pictures of your favorite big American Movie Stars in those embarassing Japanese TV commercials they get paid so much for.
  
  
• THE MOVIE CLICHES LIST - An exhaustive list of all the rules that only apply to movies. Like the "L-shaped" sheet on most beds that cover the man but not the woman, the way the message from the killer is always the THIRD one on your answering machine, etc...
  
  
• YOU DON'T KNOW JACK the netshow - If you haven't played the CD ROM version of 'JACK'. you're missing out. It's a fun trivia game-show style game for up to 3 players. The 'netshow' version which you can play at this site is fun and handles up to two players. If you think you know trivia, they will prove to you that You Don't Know Jack.
  
  
• COOL MAGIC TRICK - You knew it wouldn't take long until some feisty cyber magician put a fully interactive trick or two up on the web. You pick the card, the website knows which one you chose. Spooky.
  
  
• MARS MARS MARS - With cool pics from the pink planet, and official news releases. This has been one heck of a crowded site.
  
  
• LEWIS CARROLL - He has an illustrated homepage. I didn't even know he was still alive. With links to the full text of the books we love so much.
  
  
• STAR LINKS - Fun. A la the Kevin Bacon game, you can link any actor (or personality) to any other by T.V. jobs, films, or both. How many steps between Herve Villacheize and Wilt Chamberlain? Find out here.
  
  
• ROADSIDE AMERICA - Weird, wacky, wonderful, REAL vacation destinations across this great land of ours. "Honey, kids... Wanna go see the big chair?"
  
  
• SHEEP CLONING - Press releases and all sorts of info from The Roslin Institute, the Sheep Cloning people in England.
  
  
• DARYL CAGLE'S PROFESSIONAL CARTOONIST LINKS - Got a favorite comic strip or political cartoonist? This page has links to everybody who's ever drawn anything funny.
  
  
• CITIZEN DOG - My new favorite comic strip. I know... I know... you stopped reading the funnies after Calvin & Hobbes retired. Trust me. Mark O'Hare has created a classic strip that not only will stand the test of time, it is SCREAMING to be an animated T.V. show.
  
  
• HAVE A FONT MADE FROM YOUR HANDWRITING - For a nominal fee, the fine folks at Signature Software will turn your handwriting into a font. How cool is that?
  
  
• THE JIVE TRANSLATOR - Some academicians have programmed a computer to translate English into "Jive."
  
  
• WEIRD BAND NAMES - "Hole" and "The Dead Kennedys" start to sound like sweet little band names after you read this exhaustive list of strange names of various bands.
  
  
• THE BURRITO PAGE - You can tell alot about yourself from the type of burrito you like.
  
  
• HOW FAR IS IT? - Here you can find out how far it is from anywhere to anywhere else as the crow flies. Even if you don't have a crow.
  
  
• THE 80's!!! - Okay, it was one of the ugliest, most selfish, culturally deprived decades. So why not relive it on the web! From disco to pac man and back again.
  
  
• THE PALACE - Wanna do AOL-style chatting on the internet? Wanna take it one step further by moving around in virtual landscapes represented by the graphic of your choice? I've met some very cool people from all over the world in many different Palaces.
  
  
• BYTE-SIZED GREETING CARDS - One of many sources for "eMail Greeting Cards". There is also a site with a large list of other greeting card services.
  
  
• SUPER LOTTO RESULTS - This will take you to the latest California Lotto results - with links to every major Lottery in the country!
  
  
• REAL TIME L.A. TRAFFIC REPORT - Before you head out, log on.
  
  
• PYTHONLINE - And now, for something completely different...
  
  
• YOUR NAME IN HEIROGLYPHICS - In case you were wondering how to endorse your checks in Byzantium.
  
  
• SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA EARTHQUAKE CENTER - And if you have the right Java doohickeys in your browser you can link right to the CalTech SeismoCam!
  
  
• ROCK 'EM SOCK 'EM ROBOTS - Thanks to the folks at TV Land, you can play this old game on the web! Hey... You knocked my block off!!!!!!!!
  
  
• PENN & TELLER - A wierd 'n' wacky website created by these two masters of the macabre.
  
  

• DO NOT CALL REGISTRY -Unless you like having your dinner interrupted by strangers calling with investment opportunities, slap your phone number in this puppy and get on the National Do Not Call Registry.
  
  
• WRITE YOUR REPRESENTATIVE IN CONGRESS - Have you ever felt so strongly about something that you wanted to write your representative but then you realized that you have no idea who that is or how to reach them? This site makes it easy.
  
  
• CAGEY CONSUMER - It's not a particularly pretty site, but the folks at CageyConsumer.com expose both good and bad deals alike.
  
  
• BIRTHDAY REMINDERS - Register with BirthdayAlarm.com, input birthdays you want to remember, and they'll send you reminders through eMail. Now if you only had a service to remind you to check your eMail...
  
  
• FREE BUSINESS CARDS - These folks will make you nice business cards for free! (okay, so there's a small postage and handling charge... but it's practically free!)
  
  
• COMPARISON SHOPPING - Looking to buy a camcorder? Or a TV? Or a dishwasher? Or just about anything? This website will tell you what's on sale at what stores where you live and let you compare prices without leaving home.
  
  
• ACRONYM FINDER - When there's been some kind of Acronym SNAFU and things are FUBAR, PDQ isn't fast enough. If you need to find or define an acronym ASAP, this the best site on the WWW. TTFN, AHN.
  
  
• LOWER YOUR (MY) CHOLESTEROL - Well, I just found out my cholesterol is way high... 306! According to this website, I'm going to have to stop putting butter on my Big Macs.
  
  
• GOOGLE! - The best search engine goin' -- and it has a cool option. You can do a normal web search and get a long list of sites, or you can click the "I'm feeling lucky" button and be brought directly to a site that fullfills your search criteria. And I just happen to have a convenient GOOGLE search form at the bottom of this page!
  
  
• WEBOPEDIA - An online dictionary and searchable database of terms related to computeing and internet technology. If you don't know your GUI from WYSIWYG, this is the place to learn.
  
  
• WD-40 - Perhaps the most useful stuff in the world. What doesn't it do? At the product's official website you'll find the "use of the day" (today's: WD-40 removes grease and dirt from car chrome), as well as links to the WD-40 Fan Club!.
  
  
• WORLD TIME - Does anybody really know what time it is? Yeah, these folks do. Everywhere in the world. As I write this it's 9:31am in L.A., 11:31pm in the Chagos Islands, and 4:31am tomorrow morning in Canberra, Australia.
  
  
• MARIJUANA PENALTIES - BY STATE - One state's felony is another state's traffic ticket. This helpful guide from the good folks at NORML will tell you how much to not get caught with where you are.
  
  
• FIND ANYBODY'S BIRTHDAY - Anybirthday.com is a searchable database of info culled from DMV and voter registration records. It is connected to Locateme.com, which is a pay site that'll get you addresses for a small fee, but birthdays are free. Did you know that October 5th is America's most popular birthday? ...Neither did I.
  
  
• GET YOUR eMAIL ON THE ROAD - Mail2Web is a service that will allow you to access your eMail account over the web from any computer, anywhere in the world.
  
  
• VERBIVORE - Richard Lederer's Verbivore is a web site woven for wordaholics, logolepts, and verbivores.
  
  
• TRANSLATIONS - A fun website that will translate any phrase you give it into... Spanish: Un website de la diversi—n que traduzca cualquier frase usted la da en... Potugese: Um website do divertimento que traduza toda a frase voc� d‡-a em... Dutch: Een website van de pret die om het even welke uitdrukking zal vertalen u het in geeft... French: Un website d'amusement qui traduira n'importe quelle expression vous la donnez dans... German: Ein Spa§website, das jede mšgliche Phrase Ÿbersetzt, geben Sie sie in... Italian: Un website di divertimento che tradurrˆ tutta la frase la date in... Not to mention Korean, Chinese, and Japanese!
  
  
• REFDESK.COM - From the father of Matt Drudge, internet superstar, comes perhaps the most useful site on the net. If you need to find something out, start here. Clear, well-organized links to anything and everything that's truly useful about the internet.
  
  
• HYPERTEXT WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY - Type in a word, find out what it means.
  
  
• DICTIONARY OF DIFFICULT WORDS - Do you want to avoid being verbigerative? You'll find uberous operose words with which you may pullulate your evanescent vocabulary at this helpful, well-organized site.
  
  
• GO ASK ALICE - An informative health question & answer site from the good folks at Columbia University.
  
  
• WHAT'S THE ZIP CODE FOR...? - Type in any address, get the zip code. And it won't get disgruntled.
  
  
• EVERY RULE IN THE UNIVERSE - Cheaters beware. This useful site has every rule for: kids' games, etiquette, board games, casino games, computer games, sports, grammar, math, science... every rule in the universe.
  
  
• VET INFO - A helpful and informative site that has the answers to thousands of pet health and behavior questions.
  
  
• MORTGAGE CALCULATOR - Very handy. Any amount, any interest rate, any length of term... If you're shopping for a mortgage or a house, or just wanna know if you could be, this will help you crunch the numbers.
  
  
• CURRENY EXCHANGE RATES - How many American Dollars will your Albanian Lek buy? Or your Bulgarian Lev? Or your Ethiopian Birr for that matter?
  
  
• 555-1212 - Need a phone number anywhere in the country? At this site you'll find white pages, yellow pages, even a reverse directory where you type in a phone number, and it will tell you whose phone it is and where they live!!!
  
  
• HIGH TECH DICTIONARY - If you wanna be able to tell your GIFs from your JPEGs, or find out why that EXE file won't run on your Mac, go to this site that tells you what all those little suffixes actually mean.
  
  
• HELP WITH FIDO - Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis, is a renowned author, trainer, and dog behavior expert. An authority on aggressive dogs, he is the host of the PBS television series, WOOF! It's a Dog's Life. His very thorough website is full of information and advice for dog owners.
  
  
• REGISTER.COM - Where to go to register a domain name quickly and easily, or check to see if it's still available. Then make millions with "www.whatevergreatideayouthoughttoregister.com".
  
  
• REFDESK.COM - From the father of Matt Drudge, internet superstar, comes perhaps the most useful site on the net. If you need to find something out, start here. Clear, well-organized links to anything and everything that's truly useful about the internet.
  
  
• THE COMPLETE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE - No kidding. All of it. Here on the web. Sonnets too.
  
  
• MY SIMON - COMPARISON SHOPPING - A useful site if you're looking to buy something on-line. Tell it what you're looking for, and My Simon will tell you where on the 'net you can buy the item, and how much each vendor is charging for it.
  
  
• THE RECIPE NETWORK - A searchable collection of hundreds of recipes for just about anything you might want to cook (and probably a bunch you don't).
  
  
• ACRONYM FINDER - Check out this URL ASAP to find out if there's a SNAFU at the CIA of if eveybody there is yelling TGIF and giving each other TLC. If it's abbreviated, it's here.
  
  
• RARE WORDS - Randomly generated or specificly searched this site will teach you a few words you didn't know. For instance, were you aware that "erhine" meant "promoting nasal discharge?"
  
  
• TRANSLATING DICTIONARIES - How do you say "Various Assorted Cheeses" in French? Or German? Or Dutch? Or Afrikaans? Or Esperanto? This is the place to find out. I found out that Chester is a sangen iso kissa in Finnish.
  
  
• CLICHE FINDER - Is your manner of speaking too unique? Are you too original? Do you need to pepper your speech with hackneyed expressions? This fun sites lets you search for cliches by subject. I wanted a list of things everybody always says about "pants". It found: caught'em with his pants down - hiked up his pants - liar, liar, pants on fire - ants in his pants - kick in the seat of the pants - put on his pants one leg at a time - by the seat of his pants - and... she wears the pants.
  
  
• WORD FOR WORD FORUM - I wanted to find out where the phrases "the whole nine yards" and "spitting image" come from. This is where I found out. A very cool forum where etymologists, linguists and normal people get together to converse about the way we converse.
  
  
• THE WORD DETECTIVE - Words words words... A cool word website - the internet version of the newspaper column by Evan Morris. Etymologically delightful.
  
  
• HOW STUFF WORKS - How does a thermos keep stuff cold? How does my computer know what's on my hard drive? How does a faucet work? Why is "Caroline in the City" still on the air? Answers to all of these questions (except the last one) are at this really cool, fun, and educational site.
  
  
• eHOW - The fast and easy way to find out how to do just about anything, from how to shuck oysters to how to take a dump in the woods.
  
  
• ALTA VISTA TRANSLATIONS - Eu encontrei este local realmente fresco que traduzira qualquer coisa que voca datilografa em Portugese! (ou alemao, frances, espanhol, o italiano) traduzira tambem todo o texto de todo o website. (I found this really cool site which will translate anything you type into Portugese! (or French, Spanish,Italian, or German) It will also translate all the text of any website.)
  
  
• TIME MAGAZINE - A very classy site from the folks at TIME. They also have a continuously updated breaking news site called Time Daily ... not to be confused with Tyne Daly.
  
  
• BARTLETT'S FAMILIAR QUOTATIONS - More fun than it sounds. A searchable database for famous sayings.
  
  
• SUPREME COURT DECISIONS - An exhaustive index of recent and historic Supreme COurt Decisions
  
  

• DISC GOLF - Disc Golf (a.k.a. "Frisbee" golf) is a GREAT game that I play far too regularly but not as often as I would like. Check out this site, run by the Professional Disc Golf Association, to learn more about the game, and to find a listing of courses all over the world. Once you play, I think you'll know what I mean when I say, "WHOOOOOOOOOOSH....... KACHINK!!!"
  
  
• CALIFORNIA COURSE PHOTOS - Take a photographic tour of some of the fine Disc Golf courses California has to offer. You'll find me playing at La Mirada most often, but they're all nice.
  
  
• CHING! - Disc golf gear manufactured for weekend warriors and competitive professionals. They make a really cool portable basket, the Ching Skill-Shot DGT. I want one, and I won't rest 'til I get one.
  
  
• EVERYTHING DISC GOLF - Mike Hall has set up a nice, well organized, on-line disc golf shop. The prices seem quite good and he claims to have, well... everything disc golf. Check it out.
  
  
• THE FLYING DISC ACADEMY - Courtesy of the Swedish Disc Golf Organization, here's a site that will literally teach you how to play the game. How to drive, putt, approach, and more!
  
  
• GOTTA GO GOTTA THROW - A disc golf super store from Minneapolis with a great name and a well-organized, easy-to-use and informative website. The last time I ordered from them, they included a free towel!
  
  
• DISCRAFT - Makers of fine discs, including the XL which currently holds the world distance record -- Scott Stokely threw one 211.32 meters (694 feet!) on April 5th, 1998
  
  
• JARVA DISC GOLF COURSE - If you're ever in Sweden, check out this course... If not, check it out on-line! They have a wonderful walkthru of the course with multiple pictures of every hole.
  
  
• MORLEY FIELD - A little closer to home, check out this site dedicated to Morley Field in San Diego. I've only played it once (Sylmar and La Mirada are much closer) but it is a fine (and finely run) course.
  
  
• HIGH DESERT FLYERS - The Northern Nevada High Desert Flyers Disc Golf Club, to be more specific. These nice folks have a site dedicated to Disc Golf in the Reno, Lake Tahoe, and High Sierra area. Hmmmmmmmmmm, Disc Golf, legal poker, and beautiful country all in the same place?! ......I'm on my way!
  
  
• DISCOVERING THE WORLD - DTW is by far the biggest and most complete flying disc store I've ever found. When we were still playing the Central Park object course back in New York, this is where we ordered our first "real" golf discs from.
  
  
• CHEAPFRISBEES.COM - Their name says it all.
  
  
• BASKETHEAD - Las Vegas based disc suppliers. Discs, T-shirts, hats, tournament info, blackjack, and legal prostitution!
  
  
• J-BIRD DISCS - Rare hot stamps and custom dye jobs make your plastic look cooler in the air, even if it doesn't go in the basket.
  
  
• THE DISC GOLF WEB RING - A web ring of disc golf enthusiasts (where I found most of these disc golf links).
  
  

• RHINO CAM - This is a fun web cam at the Cincinatti Zoo that lets you pan, tilt, zoom and focus the camera as you get a live feed of a Rhino. ...Y'know, oceros.
  
  
• MONTREAL BIODOME CAM - A great view of the polar world at Biodome in Montreal. Penguins? Yes. Pauly Shore? No.
  
  
• AFRICAM - The world's first virtual game preserve. Some really cool live cams from all over Africa.
  
  
• LOBSTER CAM - A web cam in a lobster trap somewhere in Maine. The lobsters you may see here do not dance and are not to be confused with the dancing lobsters you'll find on Nickelodeon.
  
  
• LIVE CAMERAS - Take a look at live cameras all across the U.S. There are also cool sites that have lists of live cameras worldwide.
  
  
• THE BOTTOM OF THE WORLD - A live camera from Mawson Station, Antartica. When the sun goes down, it stays down for three months! Do they get night rates from their long distance company all that time?
  
  

• RICH EISEN'S BOOK - Rich Eisen is a very smart and funny guy, an excellent poker player, and he knows a thing or two about NFL football. His book is a great, entertaining, informative read.
  
  
• INDIEPRODUCER - IndieProducer was founded in 2001 by the very talented and extremely delightful Kerry David to discover and support new and emerging talent in film. She was joined in this effort by the equally talented and delightful Jon Gunn and they have built IP into a strong and helpful community that provides networking opportunities, mentoring programs, and more.
  
  
• SHORT STORY - My friend Ken Pisani got a short story of his published in this eZine. Enjoy!
  
  
• BLUE FLOWER ARTS - The ever-talented and beautiful Alison Granucci represents some of the most acclaimed poets and artists of our time for readings, speaking engagements, and (I suppose, if the price were right) children's birthday parties.
  
  
• MOVING PICTURE MUSIC - Chris Hajian is a very talented composer for film and television and a very nice guy.
  
  
• FAMILY HEALTH INSURANCE - My old friend, Bob Busby, has put together a great website for his Southern California-based insurance business. If you need, Health, Dental, Business, or Life Insurance - check it out.
  
  
• THE ARISTOCRATS - No nudity. No violence. Unspeakable obscenity. Now that this documentary about comedians and comedy is finally in (a limited amount of) theatres, all I can say is... GO SEE IT!
  
  
• THE ART OF HEATHER DODGE - Besides being sweet, beautiful, and knowing how to make a very tasty espresso, Heather Dodge is also quite a talented artist.
  
  
• HELEN SLATER - Besides being the "Girl of Steel" and a great running charades player, Helen is a VERY talented singer-songwriter whose songs I have had the extreme pleasure of hearing her sing. Her latest album is called "Crossword."
  
  
• TOURNEY.COM - The fantastically talented Di Anni brothers have put together a great site that, among other things, tracks tournament poker world rankings. You'll also find tournament schedules, poker forums, player bios, and tons and tons of free porn! Okay, there's no free porn, but this really is a great site.
  
  
• SERPENT GIRL - A GREAT new book by my friend Matthew Carnahan. Elmore Leonard said, "Carnahan can write. He mixes real freaks with freaky West Coast dopers, gets them talking, threatening each other - and it works. I didn't notice any wasted words." And if that's not enough, Mike Myers said, "Smart, sexy, and laugh-out-loud funny. It's the coolest book I've read in years, and in my Top Five of All Time." Read it now before it becomes a really cool movie.
  
  
• HUNGRY GIRL - "Tips and tricks for hungry chicks." My friend Lisa put together this very cool site filled with guilt free snacking suggestions.
  
  
• ANNIE DUKE - She's smart, she's cute and, even though I felted her with A,J against her K,K the other night, she is one of the best poker players on the planet.
  
  
• ROBERT THOMPSON - Robert Thompson, one of the best tournament directors on the planet, is now part of the happy family at Jet Set poker.
  
  
• PHIL GORDON - He's tall, he's smart, he's a TV star, he plays great cards, he doesn't suck at Scrabble, and he has a new fancy website.
  
  
• A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOG - My friend Steve has created "The Sneeze." A delightful, entertaining, and well written blog. Enjoy him.
  
  
• CHRIS HARDWICK - Chris Hardwick is out there. And funny. And out there.
  
  
• FREAKY FRANKS - This webpage finally puts the power of the internet to the type of use for which it was designed. You may create your own hot dog with toppings as extravagant as Spaghettios, Circus Peanuts, and Buffalo Wings -- just to name a delectable few.
  
  
• HEATH - Stephen Heath is a very talented young actor who also happens to be a very talented musician and songwriter. His band is called "Heath" and this is their website.
  
  
• THE TAO OF PUG - Wilson the Pug has a book coming out. This is his website.
  
  
• PHIL GORDON - Phil Gordon is a dot com millionaire, a poker champion, and a really nice guy. Check out this site to chart his travels or go to his Ultimate Sports Adventure site to see why a guy who could live anywhere is living in an RV.
  
  
• DAVID COBURN - This fine bicoastal actor/musician has a pretty slick website. Sure, I may have met him when he was the wacky animal control guy on "Harry and the Hendersons," but he's so much more than that!
  
  
• STACY KEACH - Stacy is "the finest American classical actor since John Barrymore" and a really nice guy!
  
  
• KRIS MCGAHA - This consummate actress, comedienne, writer, physicist, homemaker, and all-around hottie has her own website.
  
  
• VERMONT FURNITURE AND POTTERY - Beautiful hand-made furniture and pottery from Shackleton Thomas. My friend Hamilton works there. It's not cheap, but it's gorgeous.
  
  
• THE CONFETTI BROTHERS - Talented filmmaker Kirker Butler made a lovely short documentary about these two brothers who make confetti the old fashioned way -- by hand.
  
  
• RADIO SAVANT - The multi-talented April Winchell has a very hip site promoting her award-winning radio advertising production company, Radio Savant. Find out why her slogan is, "Radio Savant: We do great radio. Other than that, we're idiots."
  
  
• JAY AND RACHEL - Two nice kids: They meet... They fall in love... They make a website. My cousin Rachel is getting married in November.
  
  
• THE ANDOVER HOPPERS - Everything you wanted to know about the Andover Hoppers Rope Skipping Team - including a couple of pictures of my adorable niece Julia!
  
  
• STAN AND KIRSTEN - This is the official website of the very talented twosome: Kirsten Benton and Stan Chandler. Pics, bios, sound bytes, and info about their new album, "A Quiet Thing."
  
  
• SANDY SIMPSON - Sandy Simpson is a talented photographer, actor, and all-around good guy. This is his website.
  
  
• THE DAN BAND - Dan Finnerty is the Dan of the Dan Band - only the coolest straight-guys-covering-chick-song bands around, The Dan Band. If you have a chance to see them, go. You'll laugh, you'll dance, you'll have a great time. Guaranteed.
  
  
• NETHEROTA RECORDS - Cool little indie music website, featuring the stylings of a very talented young man named Eban Schletter. Eban does the music for "Mr. Show," "You Don't Know Jack," and "Battlebots" just to name a few...
  
  
• CATHRYN MICHON (GRRL GENIUS) -Cathryn Michon has a theory, a book, and standup act.
  
  
• KALAI KING - Kalai is a hot young singer-songwriter on the rise here inL.A. Kali tells me his name is Hawaiian and loosely translates to, "he who goes into the valley, writes a song, comes back from the valley forgetting to pick up milk, so goes back to the valley, gets the milk, starts to write another song but gets distracted by a pretty girl who he flirts with to no avail, then gets the hell out of the valley and goes home." Or something like that...
  
  
• GARY STOCKDALE - Not only is Gary a hip great composer, he also has a very cool website.
  
  
• KOGEY? GO! - Jay Kogen, the emmy-award winning, poker-playing, world hunger-ending, writer-producer of many of television's finest comedy programs, now has his own website. When I say "Kogey," you say, "Go!" ..."Kogey" ..."Kogey" ...Good. Now go.
  
  
• RANDALL SLAVIN - Despite the fact that it sounds like he was named by Jerry Lewis, young Mister Slavin takes a mean photograph.
  
  
• FISH LADDER - My good friend, Marty Schrapp, put together this fun and different site that has been "serving L.A.'s Comedy Community and its Consumers since late 2000." You'll find info on who's performing where, funny pictures, and many fun links stolen from this very page.
  
  
• IRIS & COMPANY - Getting married in Florida? My friends Iris and Michael have the best wedding band in the entire humid state! Listen to samples at their wonderful website.
  
  
• STET MAGAZINE - Fun and funny games and more put together by my pal Steegie. Check it out!
  
  
• CATIE'S QUOTES - My niece Catie has made a nice page with a great collection of fun and smart things people have said.
  
  
• SISTEURS OF UTTER DESTRUCTION - Even if David Bowie weren't involved (and how cool is it that he is), this site would be worth a visit because of the involvement of my friend Val (apparently an utterly destructive sisteur herself).
  
  
• MIKETV.COM - Autographed Willy Wonka collectibles can be yours when you visit my friend Paris' well-organized website. If your browser came wrapped in a special gold wrapper, you get to visit him in his home!
  
  
• DICK ORKIN'S RADIO RANCH - Dick Orkin has an extremely well-crafted site promoting his award-winning radio production house. It includes sample spots, links, and everything you might want to know about Chickenman!!!
  
  
• T POT - A long lost friend from High School, Tina Potter now has a cool business making hip promos and stuff... Visit her very well put together site, and be sure to click on the T*pot
  
  
• THE SAMURAI SHOP - I 'met' Mitsugu Tabe (who lives in Japan) thru eMAil, when he wrote to compliment me on my "Amazing Spinning Cats." I'm still not sure how he found my page, but now we know how to find his! He has fun pictures of his cats as well as real samurai supplies for sale.
  
  
• HEMPSTEAD NURSERY - David Floyd and the boys have a band. Now the band has a website. Stop by, listen to a few cuts, buy a few C.D.s....
  
  
• AVIAN SYSTEMS - My cousin Richard develops really cool satellite imaging software.
  
  
• DRU MORGAN - My buddy Dru has a fun homepage and a links-laden fun page.
  
  

• SPAMALOT - This musical, lovingly ripped off from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," is about to take Broadway by storm. And it has a REALLY cool website!
  
  
• SHAKESPEARE'S SONNETS - All of Shakespeare's sonnets and more, indexed in every which way you might want them. How do you love this site? Let me count the ways...
  
  
• MERLIN - Merlin is only one of the many lost musicals you'll find at lost musicals.com. It's about magic!
  
  
• INTERNET THEATRE DATABASE - As the IMDb is to movies, so is the ITDb to Broadway and Off Broadway theatre. Look up the original cast of any show, or maybe just your favorite actor.
  
  
• INTERACT THEATRE COMPANY - Find out what's going on at the best theatre company in Los Angeles at this site put together by our good friend "Duck Mallar".
  
  
• THE GROUNDLINGS - This is the website for The Groundlings, the Improv troupe/Acting School/MegaCorporation that has given us some of the funniest people in show business. My favorite current company members (Fall/Winter 2000) are: Rachel Harris, Jim Rash, and the EXTREMELY funny and inventive, Jeremy Rowley.
  
  
• THE COMPLETE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE - No kidding. All of it. Here on the web. Sonnets too.
  
  
• SHAKESPEARE ON THE INTERNET - We know he's all the rage in Hollywood these days, but did you also know that the Bard was the Man on the Web as well? A great, well organized site with many things Shakespearean. Links, a timeline, a quiz, the Canon, trivia, you name it, if it has to do with Will, it's here.
  
  
• GREEN EGGS AND HAMLET - The site that poses the question, "What if 'To be or not to be' was written by Dr. Seuss?" -- "Would I, could I take my life? Could I, should I, end this strife?" Etc...
  
  
• ELIZABETHAN INSULTS - A do it yourself guide to insulting someone the way Shakespeare might. Just pick a couple of colorful adjectives and a noun, you dissembling clapper-clawed canker-blossom!
  
  
• PLAYBILL ONLINE - For all you Broadway buffs. You can also skip right to the Industry Nitty-Gritty.
  
  

• INDIEPRODUCER - IndieProducer was founded in 2001 by the very talented and extremely delightful Kerry David to discover and support new and emerging talent in film. She was joined in this effort by the equally talented and delightful Jon Gunn and they have built IP into a strong and helpful community that provides networking opportunities, mentoring programs, and more.
  
  
• THE ARISTOCRATS - No nudity. No violence. Unspeakable obscenity. Now that this documentary about comedians and comedy is finally in (a limited amount of) theatres, all I can say is... GO SEE IT!
  
  
• THE NUMBERS - Out here in Hollyweird, it's all about the numbers. This site is filled with Box Office Data, Movie Star Info, and Idle Speculation. In a word... gross! Sorry.
  
  
• IMDb - THE INTERNET MOVIE DATABASE. A ridiculously exhaustive database of everyone and everything having to do with movies.
  
  
• ROTTEN TOMATOES - MOVIE REVIEWS - Wanna know what ALL the critics are saying about a movie? Check out the way these folks neatly compile and summarize reviews, then grade each movie on their patented "Tomatometer".
  
  
• THE CONFETTI BROTHERS - Talented filmmaker Kirker Butler made a lovely short documentary about these two brothers who make confetti the old fashioned way -- by hand.
  
  
• DAVID LYNCH - He's not normal, neither is his website. The good news: cool graphics, short films, original series, animation, muic, and more. The bad news: it's not all free. It'll cost you $9.97/month to access everything.
  
  
• STEVEN WRIGHT - Steven Wright is one of the most talented comedian/writer/painter/musician/filmmakers working today. At his website you'll find clips, tour info, writings, and more.
  
  
• VOICE CHASERS - A site dedicated to "voice actor" recognition. Trying to find out whose voice you hear in a cartoon? Or in an animated feature? Or at a theme park? Or coming out of a puppet? Or in your favorite anime? Or just about anywhere else you hear professional voice talent? Check out this site for bios, pictures, appearances, and more.
  
  
• EVEO - Eveo seeks to democratize the entertainment industry by putting the means of distribution in the hands of filmmakers. Meaning... any idiot, even you, can make a short film and they'll put it on their site.
  
  
• WHO WANTS TO BE A MOVIE STAR? - These people claim to be real, experienced Hollywood types who are making a movie that you can buy your way into! They're auctioning off roles on eBay - an "under 5" walk-on was going for over three thousand dollars!!! If the lead roles go for a proportionate amount, the film will be in profit before it even opens!
  
  
• HORRORS OF HOLLYWOOD EXPOSED! - Unscrupulous producers and directors have been known to hold "auditions" for roles in films that don't exist in an effort to be alone in a room with a certain type of person and get them to do whatever they want. This site - still under construction at my last viewing - promises clips from the videotapes that recorded some of these "auditions" as well as interviews with the victims.
  
  
• STUNTMEN'S ASSOCIATION - The stuntmen have a cool, well laid out site that includes history, membership information, photos of cool stunts, and a store where you can buy hats and T-shirts and stuff. WARNING: Place an air bag under your mouse before clicking on anything.
  
  
• STAR WARS: EPISODE II: THE TRAILER - A very clever (and still anonymous) 25 yr. old film editor cut together a fake trailer for "Star Wars:Episode II" using clips from earlier installments of Star Wars and other movies. It fooled over 1,000,000 people before it was found to be a fake.
  
  
• QUICKTIME MOVIE TRAILERS - Thanks to the folks at Apple and Quicktime, you can check out trailers for current movies right on your computer. Sorry, no popcorn available as of yet.
  
  
• COUNTING DOWN - A slick, kinda corporate movie fan site.
  
  
• ABRIDGED MOVIE SCRIPTS - No time to see the latest hollywood blockbuster? Want to know what to expect before you see a movie? Want to read a mockery of some movie you hated? Have a few minutes to kill? A funny parody site.
  
  
• SMOKING IN CINEMA -It causes cancer, it's offensive to people who are sitting close to it, and some people think it's the most glamorous thing ever. Like whoever made this site. This is THE place to go to see pictures and film clips of beautiful movie stars (from yesterday and today) enjoying the pause that refreshes.
  
  
• THE ORIGINAL SOUTH PARK - At this site you can download "The Spirit of Christmas" -- the original South Park short that Trey Parker and Matt Stone sent out as a Christmas card. It's truly hysterical.
  
  
• THE iFILM NETWORK - Movies for the masses. This site has lots of shot films you can watch with a Real Player. You have Real Player already, don't you?
  
  
• BOX OFFICE GURU - For all you Hollywood moguls. A site with accurate box office grosses for all movies in release, plus a large database of historical grosses.
  
  
• MOVIE SOUNDS - A well organized, searchable bunch of downloadable sound files from lots of movies.
  
  
• DREW'S SCRIPT-O-RAMA - Looking for a copy of the 2nd revision of the 3rd draft of Star Wars? You'll probably find a link to it here.
  
  
• MOS EISLEY MULTIPLEX - What do Star Wars fanatics do when they're not waiting in line for Phantom Menace tickets to go on sale? They make short film parodies of Star Wars films and upload them to this site where you can download them for varying levels of your own enjoyment.
  
  
• THE BIG SELL OUT - "Well, they gotta eat, don't they???" Here are pictures of your favorite big American Movie Stars in those embarassing Japanese TV commercials they get paid so much for.
  
  
• THE MOVIE CLICHES LIST - An exhaustive list of all the rules that only apply to movies. Like the "L-shaped" sheet on most beds that cover the man but not the woman, the way the message from the killer is always the THIRD one on your answering machine, etc...
  
  
• MOVIEFINDER.COM - I don't include many commercial sites here, but this one serves a good purpose. Search for movies by genre, find out which movies are on T.V. this week, they will even reccomend a movie for you based on your own likes and dislikes.
  
  
• FILM.COM - Another big movie database... I usually check out the IMDb first (see above)...
  
  
• THE ORACLE OF BACON - Six degrees of separation, huh? Discover who Lon Chaney and Kevin Bacon have in common!
  
  

• THE SIMPSONS ARCHIVE - Everything you wanted to know about The Simpsons is right here. Everything there IS to know about the Simpsons is right here. If you hate the Simpsons, you'll hate this site.
  
  
• MIGHTY BIG TV - Television without pity. Recaps and fairly scathing reviews of your favorite TV shows. And the other ones, too.
  
  
• VOICE CHASERS - A site dedicated to "voice actor" recognition. Trying to find out whose voice you hear in a cartoon? Or in an animated feature? Or at a theme park? Or coming out of a puppet? Or in your favorite anime? Or just about anywhere else you hear professional voice talent? Check out this site for bios, pictures, appearances, and more.
  
  
• EPISODE GUIDES - This site contains Episode Lists for over 1550 TV shows. Each list contains titles and airdates. For over 375 shows there is a more detailed episode guide containing guest stars and plot summaries.
  
  
• JUMP THE SHARK - Chronicling the moments when TV shows run out of stories and go one step too far.
  
  
• TO THE MOON! - Is where you're goin' if you don't check out this very thorough site with access to everything Honeymooners.
  
  
• AMANDA PLEASE - The Amanda Show is a sketch comedy show for kids on Nickelodeon. This is a website devoted to it's star, Amanda Bynes, created by her most ardent fan, Penelope Taynt. Get it? If not, check out the show Saturday nights after Rugrats!
  
  
• MILLIONAIRE MANIA - I rarely plug big, corporate, network websites, but the on-line version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" is one of the most fun ways to waste time on the internet to come along in years.
  
  
• FORMER CHILD STAR CENTRAL - What ever happened to... any of them? Find out here. Since 1997, a leading source for news, info and the assorted sad/happy/weird items that make the study of ex-kid stars a gothic pursuit.
  
  
• A GUIDE TO EPISODE GUIDES - An exhaustive list of links to episode guides to almost any TV show you can think of.
  
  
• OFFBEAT T.V. - Experimental animation... Classic cartoons... Old television shows you never heard of... It's all here, and it's all here in streaming video.
  
  
• T.V. LAND - Cable's nostalgia channel has a pretty nifty site.
  
  
• T.V. PARTY! - A great, well organized, fun site with over 1,000 video and audio clips. Check it out. Some great rare stuff.
  
  
• THE ULTIMATE TV SHOW LIST - If it is or has ever been on TV - you'll find it (or someone who knows where it is) here.
  
  
• ROCKFORD FILES HOMEPAGE - This is Jim Rockford, at the tone leave your name and a message and I'll get back to you.
  
  

• ALTA VISTA - A great place to search for ANYTHING! It used to be my favorite search engine until I found:
  
  
• GOOGLE! - The best search engine goin' -- and it has a cool option. You can do a normal web search and get a long list of sites, or you can click the "I'm feeling lucky" button and be brought directly to a site that fullfills your search criteria. And I just happen to have a convenient GOOGLE search form at the top and bottom of this page!
  
  
• ASK JEEVES - A PLAIN ENGLISH search engine. Type in any question, and it'll point you to the website that has the answer. "How deep is the Atlantic Ocean?" "How do you tie a square knot?" "Why does Andrew apparently have so much free time?"
  
  
• MAMMA.COM - They call it "the mother of all search engines." I tried it... It ain't got nuthin' on Google, but it's fun to type it in to your browser.
  
  
• iWON.COM - A web portal with a gimmick. They give away $10,000 every day, $1,000,000 every month, and $10,000,000 every year. Basically, it's what's you'd get if you crossed Yahoo! and the Lottery.
  
  
• WEBCRAWLER - Another great place to search for stuff!
  
  
• SHAREWARE.COM - A searchable resource for lots of really cool free and cheap software.
  
  
• SEARCH TERMS - What are people who use the internet searching for? Well right now, and I'm sure this comes as no surprise, the first thing they seek is "sex" (or zzzz if you use Microsoft Word). This site lists, in order, the hundred most frequently used search terms. When last I checked, more people were looking for "South Park" than "porn." I guess that's a good sign for humanity... isn't it?
  
  

• DR. DOWNLOAD - Dr. Download has "the cure for the common code." He checks out a bunch of shareware (games, utilities, media), then passes the best along to you. If you're new to shareware (cheap and free software you can download off the internet), start here.
  
  
• PANIC - Panic bills itself as "Macintosh software that rocks." From FTP to MP3 they've got what looks like some cool stuff. I haven't tried any of it yet, but I intend to.
  
  
• HAVE A FONT MADE FROM YOUR HANDWRITING - For a nominal fee, the fine folks at Signature Software will turn your handwriting into a font. How cool is that?
  
  
• AMBROSIA SOFTWARE - Makers of inexpensive, wonderfully addictive, and cool looking games.
  
  
• FREEVERSE SOFTWARE - Really cool shareware games. I'm currently addicted to Crosscards, Enigma, and their version of Spades. Great games, cheap prices (get a conscience and pay for your shareware, it's a great system).
  
  
• SHAREWARE.COM - Free and cheap great software galore!
  
  

• DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE - In honor of the 4th of July, here's the script that started it all. You can also look at a picture of the original, or a more legible picture of the stone engraving. With liberty and justice and cable modems for all.
  
  
• THOMAS - As in Jefferson, this is a site where you can actually find out what the heck is going on in Congress. Which bills have passed, which bills haven't, what a bill actually is...
  
  
• THE SENATE - Everything you could possibly want to know about the U.S. Senate - that you can't read in the National Enquirer.
  
  
• THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES - E-mail your representative! Let them know how you feel!! Find out what their name is!!!
  
  
• THE C.I.A. - They're probably checking you out... Why not go check them out...
  
  
• THE WHITE HOUSE - You know, the one where the President lives...
  
  
• THE U.S.D.A. - What grade is your meat?
  
  
• SUPREME COURT DECISIONS - An exhaustive index of recent and historic Supreme Court Decisions
  
  

• THE BURN LOUNGE - iTunes + MySpace + Pyramid Scheme = Huge Profits for somebody, I'm sure. I don't much about this whole Burn Lounge deal, but apparently you can make a list of the music you like and then people can buy it and you get a piece if they do. If any of you know more about Burn Lounge, good or bad, please let me know.
  
  
• THE MELLOMAN - The very resourceful Mike Walters has built The Melloman - his interpretation of the Mellotron, the first "sample player" from the 1960s (used by the Beatles and other psychedelic bands). He built it out of 14 Walkmans. Check out the Melloman's version of the opening of Strawberry Fields Forever.
  
  
• HELEN SLATER - Besides being the "Girl of Steel" and a great running charades player, Helen is a VERY talented singer-songwriter whose songs I have had the extreme pleasure of hearing her sing. Her latest album is called "Crossword."
  
  
• JIM'S BIG EGO - A very cool band out of Massachussetts with an even cooler website. Lyricist Jim Infantino is witty to say the least.
  
  
• SOUND OPINIONS - The music critics for The Chicago Tribune and The Chicago Sun Times have this very informative website to support their radio show about all sorts of music. Sometimes they agree, sometimes they disagree... Hey, someone should make a show like this for movies!
  
  
• SPELD BADLEE - This is a new band you should check out if you ever have the chance. The incomparable Gary Stockdale is a brilliant musician, the incredible Gary Shapiro is a brilliant singer, and the extremely fortunate Tony Alda dates a girl young enough to be his daughter.
  
  
• BEAUTIFUL MUSIC - "Wing" immigrated to New Zealand with her family from Hong Kong. She has been learning singing in New Zealand and does performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals. Enjoy.
  
  
• HEATH - Stephen Heath is a very talented young actor who also happens to be a very talented musician and songwriter. His band is called "Heath" and this is their website.
  
  
• JOHNNY CASH SINGS NINE INCH NAILS - The "man in black" sings Trent Reznor's "Hurt" like he knows what that feels like. A truly powerful music video by Mark Romanek.
  
  
• PHANTOM PLANET - Finally! An opening act for Elvis Costello that I actually liked! Check out the songs "Nobody's Fault" and "California."
  
  
• GLENN TILBROOK - Were you a Squeeze fan? C'mon, admit it. You have a pre-recorded cassette version of "East Side Story" somewhere in a drawer, right? Anyway, while standing in line for Elvis Costello last night, I met the delightful Amy Pickard who is making a movie about Glenn Tillbrook called "One For The Road." Check out her site for info on the man, the movie, and the music.
  
  
• MARK MCADAM - The official website of Mark McAdam and his new CD "Boy Wonder" that contains whistling by none other than Eric Gilliland.
  
  
• CD BABY - A little CD store with the best new independent music.
  
  
• HOT TUNA! - Back in the 1970's you were either a Dead Head or a Tuna Freak or a total loser. No offense to the late Jerry Garcia (or to all you total losers)... but me, I chose Hot Tuna.
  
  
• GRATEFUL DEAD RADIO - Do you dig the Dead? This is Dead.Net's 24 hour Streaming Internet Radio Full-Access Site.
  
  
• TODD RUNDGREN - Hello, it's him. Musician/songwriter/producer Todd Rundgren has a pretty cool and extensive website devoted to musician/songwriter/producer Todd Rundgren.
  
  
• TENACIOUS D - If you haven't discovered the genius of Tenacious D yet, don't despair. It's never too late to dig the D. At this, their official website, you'll find sound and video clips, tour info, merchandise, and more. ...And at this unofficial website, you'll find a neat little animation to their romantic ballad, "Fuck Her Gently." WARNING: EXPLICIT, CRUDE, and HYSTERICALLY FUNNY LYRICS.
  
  
• DAVID YAZBEK - David Yazbek is the extremely talented musician/composer who has given us "The Full Monty," "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" and everything inbetween. I highly recommend his album Damascus.
  
  
• JACK JOHNSON - Jack Johnson is a surfer/photographer/filmmaker/musician whose new album "Brushfire Fairytales" is stuck in my CD player and my head. Enjoy.
  
  
• HANS REICHEL - Thanks to Tom Egan for the link to this very cool very visual site for musician/composer Hans Reichel. Lots of neat interactive FLASH stuff and more.
  
  
• MAYBE4LESS - Maybe 4 Less, including the young and talented Dash Hawkins, is nothing short of the best new band exploding onto the music scene's face. At this, their official site, you'll find info, pics, and downloadable audio samples. Rock on, Dash!
  
  
• MOJAM - The largest calendar for live music in the world! Searchable by artist, venue, or city. You can even buy tickets for some shows right from the site!
  
  
• ZYDECOSIS - Catch a little Zydecosis from Lisa Haley and the Zydecats. I've had the pleasure of hearing this woman play her fiddle and sing. She's the real deal.
  
  
• STINKBURGER - Check out the new record, "A Thousand Ways to Fall" by Allison MacLeod. This site has cool graphics by the good people at PixelSpill.
  
  
• RED ELVISES - From the San Diego Freeway to the information Super Highway: I was on the 405 Freeway (headed north to play frisbee golf) when I noticed the red van in front of me with this emblazoned on the back: "Red Elvises. Kick-Ass Rock 'n' Roll from Siberia."
  
  
• POLKAS ON THE WEB - Your Polka source on the web! If Polka is what you crave, this is a site where you can download different polkas in many different audio formats. A WARNING - there's a lot of Java doohickeys on this page and it may take a while to load. ANOTHER WARNING - If you listen to too much Polka music, people may stop coming over to your house.
  
  
• CHANNEL 103.1 - L.A. finally has a AAA radio station again! Visit their website, patronize their sponsors, heck, send them a check! Maybe this time we can keep them on the air! You can listen to them live if you've got RealAudio.
  
  
• LIVE CONCERTS - I love this site! Hundreds and hundreds of live concerts and radio interviews are yours for the listening - assuming you've got a RealAudio Player. If you don't have one, get one! They're free and you'll find them here. Be warned, holding lit matches up in front of your monitor does NOT insure an encore.
  
  
• KCRW - The hippest NPR affiliate in the country. They once broadcast an innovative little 5 minute serial called "Coffee Break."
  
  

• SHECKY - An on-line 'zine about standup comedy. I haven't really read it yet, but it's called SHECKY, so how bad could it be?
  
  
• THE ONION - Hey, what are you looking at?! I got your satirical college newspaper right here! Funny stuff.
  
  
• THE SMOKING GUN - Exclusive documents that can't be found elsewhere on the Web. Mob informants' testimony, depositions of beauty queens held as sex slaves, Marv Albert's DNA reports... ...you name it. Material that has been obtained from government sources via Freedom of Information requests, and from court files nationwide.
  
  
• THE DRUDGE REPORT - He's a rumor monger, an irresponsible journalist, and he was the first to break the Clinton/Lewinsky "scandal." 31 yr. old Matt Drudge has a site filled with gossip parading as news. How long until he has his own TV show?
  
  
• SUCK DAILY - No this is not a porno site. This is a cynical on-line magazine that purports to contain "the fish, the barrel, the smoking gun." It's pretty cool, I even read a few articles the day I ended up at their site. How did I arrive at www.suck.com? Y'see... um, I was checking out vacuum cleaners on the web, and um...
  
  
• TIME MAGAZINE - A very classy site from the folks at TIME. They also have a continuously updated breaking news site called Time Daily ... not to be confused with Tyne Daly.
  
  
• L.A. TIMES - The sad thing is, I've lived here long enough that this is actually beginning to seem like a REAL newspaper.
  
  
• THE NEW YORK TIMES - All the news that fits in cyberspace.
  
  
• PEOPLE MAGAZINE - Hmm, 'People' on the internet... If only my computer could reach to the bathroom...
  
  

• THE POKER STORE - Recently relocated to lovely Westminster, The Poker Store seems to be the closest retail outlet to L.A.where you can buy anything and everything you'd need for a serious poker game.
  
  
• HISTORICAL CHEATING - An article about strange inventions used by crooked gamblers.
  
  
• HOLLYWOOD POKER - Hollywood Poker is a wonderful (Mac friendly) online poker emporium where you can play poker with the likes of Josh Malina, Lenny Dykstra, James Woods, and yes... Andrew Hill Newman.
  
  
• BUY ANNIE DUKE'S BOOK! - The first lady of Hold 'em has a new book out. You can also pre-order her upcoming DVD.
  
  
• POKER DVD - The first DVD in the "Expert Insight" series is a winner. This is, without a doubt, the most informative and best produced instructional DVD for No Limit Hold 'em on the market.
  
  
• TOURNEY.COM - The fantastically talented Di Anni brothers have put together a great site that, among other things, tracks tournament poker world rankings. You'll also find tournament schedules, poker forums, player bios, and tons and tons of free porn! Okay, there's no free porn, but this really is a great site.
  
  
• POKERWIRE.COM - Current poker tournament results from all over the place. And I mean, CURRENT.
  
  
• SHUFFLE UP AND DEAL! - Why not hire Celebrity Poker Showdown's own Robert Thompson to run a poker tournament for your next corporate event, charity fundraiser, or private party?
  
  
• COOL POKER T-SHIRTS - The fine folks at Slowplaying.com have made some fun poker T-Shirts with retro graphics ("Daddy went all-in last night"). Yes, yes, they also sell a shirt that says "Celebrity Poker Showdown Sucks" but I figure if something is big enough for people to try to profit off the backlash then it MUST be popular. Besides, that doesn't mean it won't last. After all, people used to say that Disco Sucks and it's still... Oh. Wait a second... (They really do have cool shirts, I own and wear a couple of them)
  
  
• REC.GAMBLING.POKER - The web home of poker's most active newsgroup. All kinds of informative threads - everything from how to play pocket queens to where to play poker in Queensland.
  
  
• GAMBLER'S GENERAL STORE - A great resource for all things gambling: cards, chips, dice, felts, roulette wheels, craps tables, video poker machines, marital problems, broken dreams, alcoholism, homelessness... You name it, they've got it!
  
  
• ANNIE DUKE - She's smart, she's cute and, even though I felted her with A,J against her K,K the other night, she is one of the best poker players on the planet.
  
  
• ROBERT THOMPSON - Robert Thompson, one of the best tournament directors on the planet, is now part of the happy family at Jet Set poker.
  
  
• PHIL GORDON - He's tall, he's smart, he's a TV star, he plays great cards, he doesn't suck at Scrabble, and he has a new fancy website.
  
  
• FULL TILT POKER - What happens when the finest players in the world consult on the design of poker software? Full Tilt happens. Two-time WPT champion Phil Gordon (also the expert commentator on a little show called Celebrity Poker Showdown) has launched this site with the help of a few of his friends: Erik Seidel, Chris Ferguson, Howard Lederer, Phil Ivey, John Juanda, Andy Bloch, Erik Lindgren, and Clonie Gowen. That's a team with 21 WSOP bracelets between them! And that's before THIS year's WSOP! If you want to play on-line poker like the big boys, WITH the big boys, Full Tilt is your only choice.
  
  
• JIM GEARY - Jim Geary is an avid Scrabble and poker player and he says his site has "something to bore everyone," If you're anything like me, you'll find parts of it fascinating.
  
  
• POKER HAND ANALYZER - If you can't calculate that a Ten-Jack of Diamonds is a 63.29% pre-flop favorite over an Eight-Nine of Hearts, don't worry. The good folks at twodimes.net have posted this nifty calculator for you.
  
  
• THE PALMS CASINO - The Palms in Las Vegas is THE hippest place to hang out, gamble, and party these days. Not to mention that it is the home of the biggest thing to hit cable TV: Celebrity Poker Showdown.
  
  
• ULTIMATE BET - Ultimate Bet is a great place to play on line poker... IF YOU DON'T HAVE A MAC. I usually don't plug PC-only sites, but I'm a big fan of Annie Duke who works for Ultimate Bet and makes it sound so good, I may just buy me some Virtual PC software.
  
  
• POKERITIS - All you can think about is poker? Rather play Hold 'em than eat? Is Celebrity Poker Showdown your favorite TV show before it even airs? Sounds like you've got "Pokeritis." This is a very thorough and informative poker site for beginners and rounders alike.
  
  
• WORLD POKER TOUR - Finally. Competitive professional poker on television. Their site is pretty much one long commercial, but they do have a fairly comprehensive poker glossary.
  
  
• HOLLYWOOD PARK CASINO - Are you a poker player? Well, Hollywood Park is the place to play in L.A.!
  
  
• POKER ROOM.COM - A fun poker site where you can play hold 'em without having to download any software - it runs in your browser. You can play for real or play money, but the management of meshugena.net recommends you stay away from online poker for REAL money. As much as we love the game, we've read too many accounts of cheating, collusion, and fraud.
  
  
• PHIL HELLMUTH.COM - In 1989, at the age of 24, Phil Hellmuth beat Johnny Chan heads-up at the final table to become the youngest World Series Champion ever. His well laid out website offers tournament info, gambling links, biographical stuff, and his first person recounting of the hand of the week.
  
  
• POKER FAQ - Answers to requently asked questions like, "What is Texas Hold 'em and how do you play?" "What is a burn card and why is it dealt?" "What the hell is Rumple Mintz?" ...all these and more.
  
  
• POKER CHEATS - The experienced gamblers at Poker Studs have compiled a (partial) list of ways people will commonly try to cheat at the noble game of poker. Here's one piece of advice that I PROMISE will serve you well in any game you sit down in: "If you don't see a sucker at the table, you're it."
  
  
• THE CHIPMAN - Scott "The Chip Man" and Estelle "The Chip Lady" Hartman maintain this very thorough and well laid out site dedicated to their great passion, collecting poker chips. Wanna buy, trade, or just look at a ton of different poker chips? ...Or perhaps you're looking for a gift for someone who maintains your favorite links page? Start here.
  
  
• POKER SEARCH - Looking for a card club near you? Or near a place you'll be traveling? Looking for tournament results, or articles about poker? Pokersearch is a great poker portal.
  
  
• WORLD SERIES OF POKER 2000 - Congratulations to Chris "Jesus" Ferguson. Read all about the goings on at the final table of poker's ultimate annual event. Don't worry T.J., there's always next year.
  
  
• McPOKER - This is a client program (visual front end) that communicates over the internet using IRC protocols to a poker server so that Macintosh users can play poker with other real people -- and some not-so-real players. The graphics are minimal, the poker is fun.
  
  
• POKER DICTIONARY - If your poker-playing friend tells you he flopped the nuts only to get snapped off on the river, maybe you better check here before you start applying any ointments.
  
  
• THE MAD GENIUS OF POKER Mike Caro is known for many things. His modesty is not one of them. Smart man. Great poker player.
  
  
• BOOKS ABOUT POKER - A long list of books from the Gambler's Book Club. I also found a cool site for poker equipment.
  
  
• NETPOKER - You can play Texas Hold 'em on this site, but the Java applet is not as Mac friendly as I had hoped. Sometimes it works fine, other times, I only see some of the cards... that's not good.
  
  

If you're looking for something you can't find on my links page, give Google a shot:

---