God is good - all the time – and all the time – God is good.

I am a sinner saved by grace and because of that we better pray first:

        Dear God – Give me the strength to say what I want to

                Give me the courage to say what You want me to

                Give me the wisdom to know the difference

                By your Spirit speak to each one of us individually today                     And let us leave here changed for the better – in Jesus’ name – Amen

For those of you that don’t know my testimony God has been very good to me. He patiently waited for me to turn to Him and when I finally did about 25 years ago He was faithful to His Word and helped me become a new creation. He helped me leave behind an old life that included most of the common vices and began molding me into what He wanted me to be. Along the way he blessed me with the desires of my heart. He gave me a godly wife, Kathy, who has stood beside me through the last 21 years – even when I resorted back to my old ways from time to time. He gave me a great son, my first born, Evan, 17 years ago, who has always been the apple of my eye and who has provided the incentive to me to clean up my act when I strayed, not wanting to set for him a bad example. And then 15 years ago He gave all three of us a surprise – Chad.

Chad entered the world a lot easier on his mom than Evan – who was a breech birth trying to enter the world upside down and delivered by C section. Chad was delivered normally but it only took him a few minutes to really make his impact. As the doctor and nurses cleaned him up they noticed a small problem on his back and I will never forget the moment they told us he had Spina Bifida. I could feel the fear literally sweep over my body as my legs began to buckle and I collapsed into a chair beside the bed Kathy was in. Just as quickly though the fear was pushed out and replaced with strength and peace that only God can provide at times like that and I was able to hold my wife’s hand and tell her it would be alright. From that moment on I knew God would help us take care of that special kid – and He did. My wife and I will testify that we couldn’t have done it without God - but because with Him all things are possible – we felt we couldn’t fail as long as we left Him in control.

Through the years our family grew like most do – facing and overcoming challenges – each one helping us get stronger for the next. We never felt special or abnormal. We were just “Married – with Children” trying to cope with life in general like most of you have had to do. We probably did have a little different perspective on some things though because of Chad’s condition and that perspective has taught me a lot of things about life I might not have learned by now. I would like to take this time to share with you some of the things Chad has taught me.

Endurance - During his 15 years that included about 15 surgeries and 30 hospital stays Chad endured each one with a vigor that was amazing. He always bounced back stronger than before and never complained - even when we knew he was in great pain. He modeled Hebrews 12 to me which says “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Chad endured to the very end and as James 1:4 says he “let endurance have its perfect result that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”. That is exactly what he is now that he has left this world for the next. When I felt like quitting and thought of him it gave me the courage to go on.

Joy – Chad was the happiest kid I ever met. He always had a smile for anyone whether he knew them or not. When people tell us what they remember most about him it usually is his smile. I learned how to smile from him. My natural expression is a frown but people who come in my door where I usher have remarked to me how much they see me smile. He taught me how. And he would laugh so hard and so long sometimes we thought he was going to bust a gut. Once he got going you couldn’t help but laugh with him even if what he was laughing at was corny – which it usually was. His joy was unspeakable and full of glory like the one Peter spoke about.

Weakness – He taught me that being weak could be strength. He helped other people feel good when they would help him or love on him. He got a lot of attention because of his weakness, some he may not have gotten otherwise. And he devoured that attention always wanting to get in the middle of whatever was going on. People loved to serve him by pushing him in his chair or helping him however they could and he made a lot of his friendships that way. He was comfortable relying on others in his weakness kind of like God wants us to be with Him. God tells us in our weakness we will find strength in Him. That’s what Chad did, but his spirit was always willing even though his flesh was weak.

Humility – He didn’t mind asking for help when he needed it. He taught me that it was OK not being able to do everything. Proverbs 22:4 teaches us that “The reward of humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, honor and life.” I believe he is enjoying all three as we speak.

Simplicity – He didn’t like complicated stuff and would stay busy longer doing simple things. But he got just as much or more enjoyment out of the simple things in life than most of us gets out of the complex things. He could be very happy just sitting outside watching the world go by. He taught me to try to slow down and simplify.

Contentment – He seemed to accept himself as he was with no questions. I never heard him ask why he was in a wheelchair when others weren’t or why he couldn’t talk in long sentences like everyone else. He was very content with being how God created him and didn’t waste a lot of time trying to be something he wasn’t. Like Paul said in Philippians 4:11 he   ”learned to be content in whatever circumstances” he found himself. I am a lot more content with myself now because of his example. God doesn’t make mistakes in how He creates us.

Trust – He trusted us completely to take care of him and we did our best – just like God will do for us if we trust Him. And even though we let him down sometimes he continued to trust us. He gave life to Proverbs 3:5-6 for me which says “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

Love – His hug was worth lowering yourself to his level for. He would wrap his arms around you as best he could, give you a squeeze, and then give you a pat on the back for emphasis. When I tucked him in at night he would put his arm around my neck and pull my face down next to his and would hold me there until I squirmed free. His love was unconditional and he gave it to everyone free of charge – just like the Lord.

I could go on with some of his other qualities but what it seems to boil down to is he exhibited a lot of the fruits of the Spirit talked about in Galatians 5 – like peace, patience, kindness and faithfulness. At the same time he didn’t seem to struggle much with the sin that so easily entangles most of us. I am not too sure Satan ever got a toehold on his life at all spiritually speaking.

I know he seemed to experience a special spiritual connection with God when he sang songs of praise and worship at church which he loved to do. Many others made it a point to tell me how much it touched their spirit to watch him sing. I remember watching him and through the tears being envious because he seemed to be at a level in his spiritual life that I was still trying to get to. I think God does that a lot with those who are born with physical problems. He balances their life by increasing their spiritual awareness. My flesh has usually hindered my spirit and I fight the same constant battle most of you do trying to keep it under control. Chad didn’t seem to have that problem. His spirit controlled him and that is what people saw most in him – that unquenchable spirit.

He taught me about relationships. He showed me how easy they were to make and maintain. His greatest strengths involved his social skills and you can just look around you today and see how good he was at using them to capture people’s hearts. I would like to have as many friends as he does but I am not near as good with those skills. He tried to teach me though. He did help me improve my relationship with Jesus though.

He taught me that everyone has handicaps – some are just more obvious to the rest of us than others. I learned that those who accept their handicaps and press on usually end up not handicapped at all. Those who fail to accept them never seem to conquer them. He showed me how to conquer some of my handicaps – by relying on the grace and mercy of a loving God. He also taught me how everyone God creates is special no matter what they look like on the outside. I need to do a better job of looking into people’s hearts to see what God has really created. That’s where He places His emphasis.

Chad confirmed to our family the power of prayer throughout his life. He has been prayed for more than anyone I know. One of the prayer ministries in this church got started when he was born. He had people pray for him all of his life and God honored those prayers. I saw many miracles in his life that I attribute to the prayers of the faithful. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt our family would not be doing as well as we are during this time had it not been for those prayers. I learned a lot about God’s perfect timing in answering prayer. I also learned that sometimes God’s timing wasn’t the same as mine and His answer wasn’t what I wanted it to be but it was always what was best.

He showed me that God indeed would not give us more than we could bear and would equip us to handle what He gave us as long as we were faithful to Him. He gave Chad the greatest caregivers in the world. He had the best mother one could wish for. She tirelessly cared for him even though his childhood lasted three times longer than most. He gave him the best brother in the world. He was Chad’s best friend and spent a great deal of his life helping Chad feel loved and keeping him involved. He modeled for Chad a lot of the positive qualities Chad developed. He had a very loving and supportive extended family with super aunts, uncles, cousins and grandmothers. God directed us to the best hospitals including Tampa General, Shriners and All Children’s where he was cared for by the best doctors, nurses and therapists one could ask for who helped improve the quality of his life tremendously. And he opened up to us a world of very special people we would have otherwise missed completely – those who are involved in helping special people with special needs. From Pediatric Therapy Services, Special Olympics, Challenger Baseball, Doris Sanders Learning Center, Good Shepherd Hospice, and other organizations we brushed up against people with true hearts of compassion. And he was a lifelong member of the greatest church in the world. Our pastors, staff and congregation have continuously overwhelmed us with their love.

God used Chad to increase my faith in Him. He showed me sometimes He gives us gifts we don’t want to give us what we really need. Because I had to rely on God when I couldn’t cope I learned early on to leave Chad in His hands instead of my own and that was a much better place for Chad to be. It taught me to leave a lot of other things there as well. As one of my daily devotions put it this week “God taught me a most valuable lesson. We can (and should) make plans with the wisdom God gives us. However, we must realize He is in total control and we can rest in that. His ways are higher than our ways and we frequently do not see what his working involves. But knowing His character allows us to go with these unexpected detours and disappointments with the peace that passes all understanding.” Chad lived out for me the two greatest commandments – to love the Lord God with all your soul and to love your neighbor as yourself. I want to be more like Chad when I grow up.

Our family is going to miss Chad dearly. So much of our life was devoted to taking care of him that we will certainly have some extra time on our hands. We will need to use that time to take care of each other. It is a lot quieter around our house without him because he was much of the noise in our life – Evan and I will have to learn how to help replace that quietness for his mom. Though we will miss him – we wouldn’t want him anywhere else other than where he is now. I am convinced God took him because he fulfilled his purpose on this earth and did so in a much shorter time than most of us. We rejoice in the knowledge that he is free of pain with a perfect body running and singing in paradise as he worships our Lord. We will see him again in his glory when we see our Lord in all of His. Until that time I will try to learn the lessons God taught me with his life. I can only hope that others who got to know him will do the same. Open the eyes of your heart and feel with your spirit and you will know that he lives on. Do the same with what God has been trying to teach you throughout your life through the relationships He has brought your way. God uses ordinary, and sometimes extraordinary, people throughout our lives to try and get our attention. I know in my experience it has always been better to have learned what He wanted me to sooner than later. The last lesson Chad taught me was one I already knew but hadn’t faced quite well enough. As Proverbs 27:1 emphasizes: “Don’t count on tomorrow because you know not what a day may bring.” We believe God orders our steps and we thank God for the time he gave us together. It was a privilege to care for him. About his life it can surely be said “Well done good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Lord.”