This is a guide for Anarchists and can be funny for non-believers and 12 and 13 
year old runts, and can be a lexicon of deadly knowledge for True Anarchists... 
Serious damage is intended to be dealt here. Do not try this stuff unless you 
want to do a lot of serious Anarchy. 

[Simulation] 
Asshole - 'Listen, 
you little teenager punk shit, shut the fuck up, or I'll knock you down!' 

Anarchist - 'O.K.....You can't say I didn't warn you. You don't know my true 
power...' (soooo casually) 
Asshole - 'Well, er, what do you mean? 

Anarchist - '' 
As you can see, the Anarchist knows 
something that this asshole doesn't... 

[Operation Fuckup] Geta wheel 
barrel or two. Fill with gasoline. Get 16 rolls of toilet paper, unroll & 
drench in the gasoline. Rip to shreds in gasoline. Get asbestos gloves. Light a 
flare (to be punk), grab glob of saturated toilet paper (you can ignite the glob 
or not). Throw either flaming or dripping glob into: 

any window (picture 
is the best) 
front doors 
rough grain siding 
and best of all, brick 
walls. 

First of all, this bitch is near impossible to get off once 
dried, and is a terror to people inside when lit! After this... during the 
night, get a pickup truck, a few wheel-barrels, and a dozen friends with 
shovels. The pickup can be used only for transporting people and equipment, or 
doing that, and carting all the dirt. When it gets around 12:00 (after the loser 
goes beddie - bye), dig a gargantuan hole in his front yard until about 3:00. 
You can either assign three or four of your friends to cart the dirt ten miles 
away in the pickup-bed, or bury his front door in 15' of dirt! After that is 
done, get three or four buckets of tar, and coat his windows. You can make an 
added twist by igniting the tar when you are all done and ready to run! That is 
if the loser has a house. If he lives inside an apartment building, you must 
direct the attack more toward his car, and front door. 

I usually start 
out when he goes to work...I find out what his cheap car looks like, and 
memorize it for future abuse...It is always fun to paint his front door (apt.) 
hot pink with purple polka-dots, and off-neon colors in diagonal stripes. You 
can also pound a few hundred or so four inch nails into his front door (this 
looks like somebody really doesn't like you from the inside). Another great is 
to fill his keyhole with liquid steel so that after the bastard closes his door 
- the only way to get back in is to break it down. If you can spare it, leave 
him an axe - that is, implanted three inches into, and through the door! 


Now, this next one is difficult, but one of the best! Get a piece of 
wood siding that will more than cover his front door completely. Nail two by 
fours on the edges of the siding (all except the bottom) so you have a barge - 
like contraption. Make a hole at the top that will be large enough for a cement 
slide. Mix about six or seven LARGE bags of QUICK drying cement. Use the cement 
slide to fill the antichamber created by the 'barge' that is around his door. 
Use more two by fours to brace your little cement-filled barge, and let the 
little gem dry. When it is, remove the 'barge' so only a stone monolith remains 
that covers his door. 

Use any remaining cement to make a base around 
this so he can't just push it over. When I did this, he called the fire 
department, and they thought he meant wood, so they brought axes. I watched with 
a few dozen or so other tenants, and laughed my damn ass off! This is only his 
door! After he parks his car for the night, the fun really begins...I start out 
by opening up the car by jamming a very thin, but loack - inside and out! 


Then proceed to put orange-juice syrup all over the seats, so after he 
gets through all the other shit that you do, he will have the stickiest seats in 
the world. You can then get a few Sunday papers, and crack one of the windows 
about four inches. Lightly crumple the papers, and continue to completely fill 
the inside of his car with the newspapers. A copy of the Sunday New York Times 
will nicely fill a Volkeswagon! What is also quite amusing is to put his car on 
cinder blocks, slash his tires at the top, and fill them with cement! Leave the 
cinder blocks there so that, after he knocks the car off of them, he will get 
about 3 miles to the gallon with those tires, and do 0 to 60 in about two 
minutes! It is even more hilarious when he doesn't know why the hell why! 
Another is to open his hood, and then run a few wires from the sparkplugs to the 
METAL body. The sure is one HOT car when it is running! Now, I like to pour two 
pounds of sugar down his gas tank. If this doesn't blow every gasket in his 
engine it will do something called 'carmelizing his engine'. This is when the 
extreme heat turns the sugar to carmel, and you literally must completely take 
the engine out and apart, and clean each and every individual part! 


Well, if this asshole does not get the message, you had better start to 
get serious. If this guide was used properly & as it was intended (no, not 
as kindling for the fire), this asshole will either move far away, seek 
professional psychological help, commit suicide, or all of the above! 


--------------Jolly Roger 

The creator of this page and any links it may lead to hereby takes no responsability or liability for anything that happens as a result of reading anything on this page or anything contained in subsequent pages. Users read at their own risk. It is NOT reccomended that the user do anything described in this and subsequent pages. Doing so may result in serious trouble, arrest, injury, and possibly deportation or death. Thank you.