A spiritual director is not the same as a confessor, so while certainly you can discuss any areas of sin in your life if you wish, you are not expected to give any kind of regular inventory of sins. Neither is a director someone who will solve your problems for you, but rather one who will help you to look at them in the light of God's grace.
When looking for a spiritual director, seek someone who is mature in the Lord, someone who has a gift for the ministry of spiritual direction, and knowledge and training in theology and spirituallity. A good background in psychology is also helpful. Personal compatibility is of great importance. Your director must be someone you can trust enough to open up to, someone whose words you would take with great care, whose thoughts and views on life you respect. If you are not reasonably comfortable with your director after several sessions, seek another.
Should everyone have a spiritual director? There are not enough qualified directors for everyone to have one, and it is entirely possible to reach great holiness without being in spiritual direction. But everyone can benefit from this ancient ministry. As Fr. John Grou notes in his classic book THE HIDDEN LIFE OF THE SOUL: "The one who really desires to give himself to God should weigh well the advantages of having guidance from another, because the best and the wisest are blinded as to their own inward life, and the holiest and best fitted to direct others would not effect to direct themselves."
If you feel called to pursue direction, begin by considering what you are hoping for from direction, and what type of director you might feel most comfortable with - a man or a woman, married or celibate, etc. Pray about this before proceeding, then if you have someone in mind, set up an appointment to discuss the possibility of meeting for spiritual direction. Be prepared to ask questions like: What is your approach in doing direction? Have you any specific expectations of directees? How often do you like to meet with directees? Do you have a particular approach to the spiritual life?" Be prepared to answer questions like: "What leads you to seek direction at this time in your life? What do you hope to gain from receiving direction?"
The Spiritual Renewal Center has offered spiritual direction to individuals since its beginning in 1978, and can help you connect with a good director. If you would like to begin meeting with someone, or if you have any questions about spiritual direction, contact the Center.
