As Planned

Tallulah Rasa

An LJ community called SG-1 Happily Ever After posted a "One Last Jaunt" challenge: tie up the series, and do it in 38 minutes. I thought I'd give it a try, despite the fact that I'm not a member of the community (I'm not on LJ)(I also don't own a microwave), I've only seen the first half of Season 10, and, to be honest, I don't really remember much of that. Just to go for broke, this also took me closer to 45 minutes than 38. Other than that, though...

"It's so...small," Vala finally said.

Daniel looked down, and looked at Vala. "It's the usual size," he said.

"Well, I'm very disappointed," Vala said. "I thought it would be a lot bigger. And...a lot more attractive. That's just sad." She turned around. "Didn't you think it would be bigger?"

"Absolutely," Cam said seriously. "Tough break there, Jackson."

"I had hopes," Sam sighed. "But -- well, you know. This job has had more than its share of disappointments."

Teal'c, meanwhile, said nothing, but exchanged a long, wordless glance with Daniel, a look that managed to clearly convey sympathy, support, and what can you do with these people? He nodded once.

Daniel returned Teal'c's nod, and to everyone else said, "I think you're over-reacting."

"To what?" Jack asked as he barreled into Daniel's office, still crisp and official in his dress uniform.

"The size," Vala said, "of Daniel's--"

"Vala feels it's too small," Sam interrupted, hoping to head off what could be a very long discussion.

"Ah, well," Jack said, scooping a stack of papers out of a chair and sitting down. "Can't be helped. You get what you get. And you know, it's not the size. It's who you shoot with it."

Vala stared at him. Cameron and Sam were standing at attention still, Cam trying to squelch a smile. Teal'c raised one eyebrow.

Jack motioned to Cameron and Sam to stand down, and then looked at Daniel, who shrugged. "What?" Jack asked. "Aren't we talking about guns?"

"Medals, Sir, but thanks for clarifying," Cam said.

"Vala is concerned about the medal that was just awarded to Daniel Jackson," Teal'c explained. "She feels that it is inadequate."

"Also," Vala said, squinting at the box Daniel was still holding, "it's not even pure gold, or platinum, or...really, what's the point?"

"It's just...it's just a gesture," Daniel said gently. "Since things look so...and they're shutting down the..."

"It's a way of acknowledging Daniel, and thanking him for everything he's done," Sam added, with a smile for Daniel. "Before the..."

"A small way," Vala grumbled.

"Well, he didn't do that much," Jack said. "Saved the world a few times, sure, but he hardly ever got his departmental evaluations in on time. Plus, he's been pretty careless. He's lost a lot of bandanas, and those things don't grow on trees. And he's gotten killed in the line of duty more than once. The paperwork's been awful."

"Thanks, Jack," Daniel said.

"I still think it's too small," Vala said

"Well, look at it this way," Jack said. "We're about to take off, and we have to travel light. This way, Daniel can take it with him."

"About the 'taking off' part, Sir..." Cameron began.

"You all know what you're supposed to do, right?" Jack asked.

"We have done this before, Sir," Sam reminded him.

"I haven't," Cam said. "And that's not a problem, but I'm wondering -- why like this?"

Jack just looked at him. "That's how we've always done it," he said.

"But--"

"It is a most efficacious method, Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c said.

"It's tradition," Sam offered.

"You do all know about the imminent invasion, right? About the world's governments deciding to surrender, and the Gate being shut down? And you do remember that in a few hours the six of us are hijacking the Daedalus to make what's possibly going to be the last stand for Earth?" Cam asked. "I'm just checking."

Daniel chewed his lip. "Yeah, that about sums it up," he said. "But on the bright side..."

Cam turned to him. "What?"

Daniel held up the little black box. "Well, I got a medal."

"Does 'The Alamo' mean nothing to you people?" Cam asked.

"Ice cream with pie? Yeah, I love that," Jack said. "But first -- the pre-mission mission. Vala, you know what to do?"

Vala batted her eyes. "I've always known what to do."

Jack nodded. "Good. It should be much easier with you."

"Are you saying I don't create effective diversions?" Daniel huffed.

"No, Daniel. Just -- dropping papers or tripping over your own feet, no matter how artfully done, will never distract the guards the way Vala can just by..." He wiggled a hand.

"You have a point," Daniel conceded.

"Okay," Jack said. "I take care of the security cameras and send as many SFs as I can on a wild-goose chase. Daniel triggers the alarm that closes off Levels 25 through 34. Vala distracts the guards at the main gate. Carter gets to the transportation bay and hotwires one of those souped-up trucks."

"I'll take Teal'c," Sam said. "In case they're anticipating something like this."

"Good idea," Jack said. "But wear a hat, Teal'c. Remember where we're going."

"I could not forget, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"Zats on stun," Jack added. "Now, Mitchell --"

"I know," Cam said. "I tell the General I need to pick up a few things from home. I sign out. I go to my car like..."

"Like any other day. Any other normal day," Jack prompted, and Daniel and Sam both snickered.

"I wait at my car," Cam continued. "When I see you and Jackson, I send Sam and Vala the all-clear signal. Sam drives like a bat out of hell. We all end up in the truck -- I'm not entirely clear on that part, by the way --"

"Translocation device," Sam said. "It's sort of like--"

"The ring device, I know," Cam said. "I'm not questioning the technology, Sam. Just the need for it."

Sam shrugged. "If I slow down to pick you guys up, we'll never get through security."

"But--"

Vala punched Cameron's arm. "Where's your spirit of adventure?"

"Where's your respect for tradition?" Daniel added.

"I could order you," Jack said.

Cam looked at all of them. "We're going," he said, "to Dunkin' Donuts."

"Well, yeah," Sam said.

"Dunkin' Donuts," Cam repeated.

"It's our last few hours on Earth, maybe ever," Daniel said thoughtfully. "Maybe we should hit Baskin's, too."

"Ooh, great idea!" Sam said. "Daniel, you deserve a medal."

"Didn't I just give him one?" Jack asked, gesturing to his dress blues as if to underscore the point.

"It should have been bigger," Vala insisted.

"What I deserve is a chocolate frosted with sprinkles," Daniel said. "And maybe a Rocky Road sundae. Are we ready to go?"

"Ready," Sam said.

"I'm ready," Vala said.

"Indeed," Teal'c said.

Jack just nodded, but he gave one more look to everyone in the room. His look to Vala said, Thanks, the one to Sam said, Yes, the one to Teal'c said, One more time, and the one to Cameron said something along the lines of, Don't remember the Alamo. The look he gave to Daniel said all those things, and a few others, and ended with, If you die again I swear I'll kill you.

"Let's go," Cam said, and he was first out the door. Daniel was last -- they had all agreed on that. He left his medal on his desk, and closed the door behind him.

END

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